


Don't Wanna Be Your Dirty Little Secret

by writingmisfit



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-03-20 11:22:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 59,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3648483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingmisfit/pseuds/writingmisfit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College was supposed to be a great new experience for Kurt in the city of his dreams. That was until he met Blaine who turned his world upside down. The only thing getting in the way was Blaine's girlfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, readers and welcome to my NaNoWriMo 2014 story. It was my first year taking part and I managed to write over 50,000 words, and I have never been so proud of myself. Because of that, most of this story has been written so updates will come once a week for this. I hope you enjoy this, it's very different from my previous stories but give it a chance please :)
> 
> Thank you and enjoy!

Blaine Anderson had sprawled himself across the comfy leather sofa that had been positioned in the corner of the bar which was called The Hangout. The sofa was old and worn but it suited the style of the bar nicely.

The bar itself was small and mostly catered for young adults and college students. It even allowed students that were under the legal drinking age to come in and chill there as long as they didn't have any alcohol and most of the time that rule was respected by them. It was THE student hang out as they did a little bit of everything. There were comedy nights, karaoke, and live acoustics from students testing out their new compositions and then there were guest performers that the bar somehow managed to get in. Then there were the silly nights in between, like fancy dress, pizza nights or foam nights.

The bar wasn't open yet, it was around twelve o'clock in the afternoon and it didn't actually open till four. Blaine was there because his friend, Sam Evans had managed to get himself a job there over the summer. He worked behind the bar, serving drinks to all the customers and he really loved it. His boss mostly let him and the others that worked there do what they wanted. They needed approval when booking anything for the nights but other than that he was pretty absent.

Sam often invited his friends to join him while he was setting up. It was very quiet when it was just him there alone. The bar was out of the way and not in a very busy area of New York so when there wasn't the students coming in it could sometimes feel a little deserted. Having the company of his friends seemed to make the time go quicker than just having some light music on in the background.

Blaine, along with Wes Montgomery and David Thompson often joined Sam on the afternoons that he was setting up because it was a great chance to just relax and hang out. They helped Sam out when he needed a hand but mostly they just sat in the sofa area and chatted across to Sam who was setting out the glasses for the evening.

They were especially glad of this hideaway today because at that present time all of the new first years to NYU were moving into their dorm rooms. Being second years they had all moved in a week earlier and got everything ready and unpacked. They knew from experience last year that the campus would be like a crazy town right now with all the fresher's events happening and all the societies trying to convince people to join them. They just didn't want to be dealing with that chaos. Maybe that made them lazy but it wasn't like they cared about it.

The glasses that Sam was working with clinked together as he removed them from the dishwasher and under the bar where they were stored so that they could easily be grabbed when he and the others working behind the bar were serving.

"You know I love the sound of glasses clinking together." Blaine mused from where he had laid on the sofa. His head was on the arm of the chair and his feet rested atop of the other arm.

"Maybe you should come and actually help me." Sam laughed, chucking over a spare tea towel.

David looked up from his phone, "Someone got told!"

"Screw you guys." Blaine stuck his tongue out at them before getting up and walking over to the bar, joining Sam.

"Are we doing anything tonight?" David asked, chucking his phone aside and stretching his arms above his head.

"Well I'm working tonight. What with all the new students this place is going to be really busy. It's all hands on deck for at least the next week." Sam said.

"So basically we'll be hanging out here tonight."

"If you want." Sam grinned, happy that his friends wanted to hang out with him even though he couldn't really hang out with them properly.

Blaine nodded in agreement. "I just know I wanna avoid my halls. I got some first years moving in next door to me. I have no clue who they are but I just don't want to be a part of that first night away from home. There will probably be tears and I just don't want to deal with that. I'm probably just going to stay round at Amy's tonight after this evening."

"Yeah I bet you are." David winked at him.

Amy was Blaine's girlfriend. They had only been dating for six months, having met last year while out at a club. Really Amy didn't seem like the kind of girl that Blaine would date. She was very outgoing and liked to party hard whereas Blaine liked to chill out with friends, drinking or gaming. He wasn't really one for going out to clubs and going out dancing to music that only seemed to have one beat to it. It was strange that he had even gone out the night that he met Amy. He'd been dragged out by some of his course friends and had gotten ridiculously drunk really quickly. He'd met Amy out on the dance floor and they spent some time grinding together until she had invited him back to her room. He'd gone with her and they'd slept together that night.

It was very unusual for Blaine to behave like that. A lot of his friends were shocked. Sam had a hard time dealing with the idea for a long time and he just couldn't seem to understand the relationship that Amy and Blaine shared. They were two very different people and it showed a lot in the different things that they both did. Somehow though they had stayed together for six months and they didn't seem to be breaking up anytime soon.

"Don't be jealous, David. I can't help that the girls seem to love me." Blaine teased, knowing that David had been single for a long time and was currently going through a sexual dry spell. It was quite an area of teasing that David got from his friends. It didn't upset him though because they all had a good laugh about it.

"I won't be coming out tonight." Wes piped up from his seat.

"Let me guess. Studying?" David said, rolling his eyes.

"I have to get started early this year. I slacked over the summer and you know what my parents are like." Wes sighed.

That was true for both Blaine and Wes. Their parents were very strict about keeping up with their education though Blaine's were not as bad as Wes'. Wes' parents were very involved in his schooling and they didn't want anything distracting him from the bright future that he was going to have. There was a lot of pressure on them to do the absolute best that they could and Wes seemed to take it to the extreme, more so than Blaine did. Blaine was very willing to go against his parents' wishes and was always ready to have a good time, unlike Wes.

"The year hasn't even started. None of the classes have begun yet, how can you have school work to do?" Sam asked, looking confused.

"It's extra reading. My dad and I made a deal that if I got the highest grades this year then I'd get to have a go at running my own division in the family business over the summer. It'd be a great opportunity and I can't pass it up." Wes explained.

Sam wasn't very understanding of that because unlike Blaine and Wes, he didn't have parents that had a lot of money to pay his way. He had to do it all by himself. He wasn't complaining. He was hoping to better himself which was why he had decided to go to college and luckily there had been things set in place which meant that he was able to get financial help that he needed. Really his family thought it was a miracle that he gotten any further in his education in the first place.

"We can arrange another night to do something with you then mate." Blaine reassured his friend.

Wes smiled at his friend.

Together they made a very weird friendship group and not everyone could understand how they had remained such good friends. All that mattered was each one of them would do anything for the other one, no matter what.

Even though none of them knew it, all of them were going to go though a few ordeals over this next year. Right now each of them had been fooling around and not taking anything too seriously. None of them had any idea of the growing up that would be done over the year for all of them.

As they all sat together, laughing and joking, they had absolutely no idea what back at the halls a boy was moving in that was going to change the way they thought about everything. Sometimes all it took was a little spark for things to change in someone's life and that was definitely the case here.

The year was set for a lot of happy times. Many, many of them to celebrate. But, on top of that, it would also see some of the hardest times that any of them had ever gone through. The person that was going to set about all these changes for them was called Kurt Hummel. He didn't even know the relationship he would share with the boys, didn't even know that they existed eyt. And really it was amazing how the world worked like that and they were sure that anything could change something one day for the better.

All they had to do was to wait and see what the future would be. It was terrifying but they the best things in life always were.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I was having some computer issues but they have been resolved and chapters will be up each week from now on! I want to thank all of you that have given this story a chance and I can't wait to see what you think of the rest!

Chapter Two

"Kurt!" A shrill scream greeted Kurt as he walked towards what was going to be his room, and home for the next year.

Rachel ran at him, obviously going in for a hug but thankfully the box that Kurt was carrying prevented her from throwing herself at him. Sometimes Rachel's enthusiasm was way too much for Kurt and after the long drive from Lima, Ohio to get here to New York, he was feeling a bit tired and frazzled. The two definitely didn't go well with Rachel.

Carole and Burt followed behind Kurt, each of them carrying in a box from the car, Burt a lighter one than Carole because he was currently undergoing treatment for prostate cancer and had finally admitted that he wasn't feeling as strong as he used to.

Kurt hurried to put the box he was carrying into his room, barely even looking to see what it actually looked like inside and going to take the box off of his father.

"Go and sit down sweetie." Carole motioned to Burt who didn't look impressed.

"I need to help you lot get all the stuff that Kurt's brought. We'll be here forever with just the two of you." Burt complained.

Rachel's dads, Hiram and Leroy stepped forward offering their services to help get Kurt's stuff in as they had arrived several hours earlier with Rachel and had set her up completely in her room, which everyone could tell she was eager to show Kurt. Kurt didn't need to be shown to know that he probably wouldn't like what she had done with the room. If her room in Ohio was anything to go by it would be another terrible and unfashionable mess. Kurt was very particular about style. He had always thought that style said a lot about a person and he always wanted to stay in with the latest fashionable trends.

"Well what am I gonna do?" Burt questioned. "I don't wanna just be sitting around and watching you guys do all the work."

"Actually dad if you could get all of my clothes out and put them on hangers in the closet that would be great. I need to let them breathe, packing them away like that can't have done much for them."

Burt looked at his son incredulously but started unpacking Kurt's clothing hangers and the clothes.

"Can you believe it Kurt? We're finally in New York. We thought it would never happen but look at where we are! This is the city of dreams and it's all ours!" Rachel chattered excitedly next to Kurt as he went backwards and forwards out to the car, not bothering herself to help out with a few boxes but that was the kind of person Rachel was. If you didn't tell her that you specifically needed help then she could be very self-involved.

"Yeah Rachel. It's awesome. But I'd actually really loved to get moved in before the day has ended."

"Why don't I go down the street and grab some lunch for everybody?" Rachel suggested, a happy smile on her face.

"That's actually a great idea." Kurt said, thankful to have Rachel off his back for a time. They could celebrate later but right now he just wanted to get settled in. This was something massive for Kurt.

Kurt had never been out of Ohio before, heck he barely got out of Lima except on the odd occasion when they went over to Columbus to go shopping on Black Friday. This all seemed overwhelming and very, very daunting. He had never lived alone before, even when his father had been in his coma brought on by a heart attack, Carole had stayed with him even though she hadn't really been dating Burt that long. Add all that to the fact that Burt was undergoing cancer treatment and the thought of leaving home was absolutely terrifying.

All summer he had been battling with himself and what to do. A part of him had wanted to stay and look after his dad. Maybe attend community college or defer his acceptance into NYU for a year later when Burt would hopefully be in full health again. It had caused a few arguments between father and son. Burt knew how much New York meant to Kurt, it was all he had ever talked about growing up and Burt had wished that they would have made the time to take him before he moved there. Of course it was heart-warming to Burt that his son would do that for him and things like that always reaffirmed his belief that Kurt was exactly like his mother who had passed away in a car accident when Kurt was eight years old. But Burt couldn't allow Kurt to hold back his future for him. He'd insisted that Kurt go and while it took some convincing he'd finally gotten Kurt to fully enrol on his course.

After all of the boxes had been brought in and Burt had hung up the many, many clothes that Kurt owned they finally all settled down in Kurt's room to eat the pizza that Rachel had brought back. Kurt allowed Burt to tuck into three slices of pizza before he cut him off. It was a special occasion after all. Hiram, Leroy, Burt and Carole all sat talking while Kurt and Rachel discussed all the things that they were going to do that week. Rachel had already got some ideas because she had spent a lot of the summer on forums, chatting to second year students and asking them about all the best places to go and the best things to do in that very first week.

"We absolutely have to go out tonight Kurt! This is the night that we'll make the majority of our friends and we can't miss out. Someone told me about this bar that all the students populate and I think we should go. They're having a karaoke night there tonight which was just made for us!"

"I can get down with singing. It feels like forever since nationals." Kurt said, taking a sip of his tea.

Rachel nodded in agreement.

"So how did Finn settle in?" Leroy asked Carole.

Kurt and Rachel started to pay attention to their conversation.

"He's doing okay. He's seems so sure about this. I'm so proud of him." Carole said, even though it was hard.

Finn had joined the army to regain honour for his father. He had gone up to Georgia to the army base that was there and he was currently doing his training. It had been hard for Carole to say goodbye to her little boy, especially as she had seen what war could do to someone with her late husband, Christopher. He had died while Finn had just been a baby. She had always told Finn that he had died at war but the truth was that he had died of a drug overdose after Finn's second birthday. When Finn had found out he had been absolutely devastated and that had been one of the reasons why he had decided to join the army. He had been dating Rachel beforehand and she had wanted him to move with her and they would get an apartment together, completely forgoing the student accommodation. She had been upset when she had found out that he had joined the army and he definitely wasn't going to be coming to New York.

Kurt could see the sad look on Rachel's face at the mention of Finn. No one could deny that Rachel loved Finn. Sure, she was self-involved a lot of the time but she really did love Finn. And he loved her which was why he set her free to experience New York and all its wonders without him. Kurt thought that was one of the bravest things Finn had ever done. He didn't know himself if he would ever have the strength to say goodbye like that. Not that he had ever had the opportunity. There just wasn't a lot of options for a gay teen in Ohio. It made Kurt sad to think but he'd heard that New York was more accepting and he hoped that the same would be true for him. Not that he was desperate or anything.

XXXX

A few hours later both sets of parents had left the teens to their own devices. Kurt had eventually paid a visit to Rachel's room and as he suspected he kind of hated it. It was very, very pink and there were cuddly toys practically everywhere. It was ridiculous, not at all like she was supposed to be eighteen years old. So when she asked him if he 'absolutely loved it', he had to lie through his teeth and claim that it looked great. She was so high strung that she didn't quite get sarcasm and Kurt knew that that ability would be good for her in the future.

"So are we gonna go out to that bar?" Rachel asked excitedly.

"I dunno Rach. Why can't we just have a quiet night in with some popcorn and a few rom-coms?" He sighed.

"Kurt we need to make connections. These people that we are going to be attending college with might be the connections that we need in the future that could further our careers and make us massive stars. Do you really want to pass up that opportunity of greatness?" Rachel said, tugging on his hand like a child would a parent.

"I guess we can go." Kurt said reluctantly. "But I will be dressing you. I can't be seen out in New York with you when you're looking like that!"

Rachel looked offended. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?!"

"It looks like something my grandmother would have once worn. There is no way I'm going out with someone who looks like my grandma."

Rachel sighed but knew that there was no convincing Kurt that this outfit was cute. Plus she really wanted to go out and start her life ad she couldn't do that without her best friend by her side.

"Okay, fine, you can dress me. But let's hurry! It's nine o'clock now and most people would have already started heading out."

"This may take a while." Kurt muttered under his breath.

He walked over to her wardrobe and looked at all of the clothes that she had decided to bring with her. Most of them made him want to burn them but some of them weren't so bad and he managed to put together a fashionable outfit. He gave her the clothes and Kurt went into his room to pick an outfit while Rachel got changed. He quickly selected an outfit for himself and put it on. He gave one last look in the mirror to make sure his hair was perfectly coiffed before he went back to Rachel's room, tapping on the door to make sure she was presentable.

She greeted him in the outfit and she looked amazing. She wore quite a short black pencil skirt and a burgundy blouse which was left a little undone at the throat, unlike her usual style, so that everyone could quite clearly see the 'Finn' necklace that she still wore, even though they were broken up. Apparently they were soul mates and this break up was actually just a 'till we meet again'.

"Wow, we both look so amazing. You know I can never argue with your sense of style, Kurt. It's perfect." Rachel said, twirling in the full length mirror that she had stood up in her room.

Kurt smiled gratefully, always glad to hear when someone liked his fashion sense as he took a lot of pride in it.

"Right, shall we head out. I know roughly where this place is and it's only like twenty minutes away. We'll be there early because a lot of people will be having drinks at home because it is very strict on serving alcohol to minors but that won't be a problem for us as neither of us are really drinkers." Rachel said happily, taking Kurt's hand and pulling him out of the door.

Kurt followed her without saying anything which was okay because Rachel was quite willing to chat at him. He was kind of nervous about this. He had never really been out like this before, it wasn't altogether too safe for Kurt to go out like other teens his age had in Ohio because there were a lot of homophobes that seemed to take offence whenever they saw Kurt. Add the inevitable alcohol into the mix and it could be quite dangerous for Kurt. His father had given him a strict curfew and Kurt had never really wanted to extend that.

Kurt hoped that New York would be different. He had heard that it was very accepting and if the pride parade was an indicator of anything then Kurt felt pretty confident about being who he was in New York. He really wanted to go to a pride parade himself one day. It looked like a lot of fun and so many things went on during the day that looked like it would be very exciting. But Kurt wasn't foolish. He knew that New York wasn't exempt from homophobes and that there probably a few lurking around. There was always someone that disliked Kurt's sexual orientation but, even though he hadn't been in New York for even a day, he felt that there would be more support for him here than there would be people that disagreed with who he was.

XXXX

After almost getting lost about three times, Kurt and Rachel finally made it to the bar which was indeed heaving with people. Apparently karaoke night was a very popular one.

Kurt and Rachel held each other's hands tightly as they tried to slip through all the people there and they made their way to the bar to get themselves a drink. She noticed two seats next to each other at the bar and she charged through the crowds, dragging Kurt behind her. Triumphantly they reach the seats and slid into them, both of them grinning.

A blonde guy behind the bar approached them with a smile on his face and Kurt could feel his heart thud. The guy was really cute. His hair was dyed and his lips seemed a bit too big for his face but he still somehow managed to look awesome. The way his white shirt pulled across his chest whenever he moved his arms was giving Kurt very good thoughts. His gaydar was only pinging a little bit however so he didn't want to get his hopes up.

"What can I get for you guys?" He asked them.

"Two virgin Shirley Temples please." Rachel asked, turning to grin at the guy behind the bar.

"Coming right up." The guy winked at the both of them and then moved across the bar to make their drinks.

He returned a few minutes later with their drinks and pushed them towards them. "So I'm guessing that you're first years at NYU?"

"Yes! How could you tell? My name is Rachel and this is Kurt. It's our first night and we've heard great things about this place?" Rachel said with her usual enthusiasm.

"Great to meet you. The name is Sam. Sam I am." He smiled cheerily at them.

He went back to serving other customers and Rachel and Kurt sipped on their drinks.

"I'm gonna go and dance. Are you coming?" Rachel asked as she hopped off of her stool.

"Nah, I'm gonna stay here for a bit." Kurt said, shooing her onto the dance floor where she was quickly enveloped by the beat and the movement of the other people.

"You not dancing?" Sam asked Kurt as he collected in Rachel's glass.

Kurt shook his head. "I may do later. I'm feeling a little hot right now."

"Well you look hot in that outfit. You really dressed to impress." Sam grinned.

"Oh, this. It's not my best." Kurt smiled shyly at Sam, his cheeks turning slightly red in colour.

"Are you going to sing tonight?"

"Oh I don't know." Kurt admitted shyly.

"Go on. I bet you'll be brilliant." Sam encouraged.

"I guess maybe one song couldn't hurt."

He and Sam chatted together for a little while as Sam worked. Kurt told him about it being his first year and that he was studying Music Theatre. Sam himself was studying music and was a second year. Sam had gotten the job there during the summer because he hadn't gone home, which was originally Kentucky. Kurt in turn told him about Ohio, trying to stay away from the heavier topics. He was sure that he didn't need to tell Sam about the homophobes in a small town.

"Hi my name is Rachel Berry and I'll be singing Empire State of Mind part two by Alicia Keyes." Kurt heard Rachel's voice come on over the mic.

There was a round of applause and then they all settled down to quiet with the occasional whispers from the people around the bar.

Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she started to sing.

" _Grew up in a town that is famous as a place of move scenes._

_Noise is always loud, there are sirens all around and the streets are mean._

_If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere, that's what they say._

_Seeing my face in light or may name in marquees found down on Broadway."_

Everyone went quiet as they listened to Rachel sing. She really was amazing and could hypnotise a whole room with just her singing voice. She had a raw talent that you didn't always see nowadays and it was moments like these, when Rachel got completely lost in the music that he would remember why they were such good friends.

" _Now you're in New York!_

_These streets will make you feel brand new._

_Big lights will inspire you._

_Hear it for New York, New York, New York!"_

It had always been the dream for the both of them to make it to New York and have amazing Broadway careers. It was more than just that though. They both wanted people to love shows as much as they did. They wanted to entertain people and make them laugh or cry. They wanted someone to feel touched by a performance that they had done which was why Broadway was for them.

Rachel brought the song to a close and people actually stood up and applauded for her, something which it was clear to see that she adored. She did a little curtsey to the audience and then skipped back over to Kurt. "You're turn?"

Kurt slowly slid off of his bar stool and made his way to the little stage where the karaoke performances took place. He was nervous because he had never really sung a solo in front of a large audience before, Rachel always having took all the solos for competitions.

"Good evening." Kurt said, his voice a little shaky. "My name in Kurt Hummel and I'll be singing Blackbird by the Beatles."

One again the chatter in the room quietened slightly and Kurt stepped up to the microphone that was stood in the centre of the stage. He was really nervous for some reason and he could feel himself shaking a little bit. Group numbers like back in high school had been what Kurt was good at because he doubted that he could ever make anybody sit up and pay attention to his words.

" _Blackbird singing in the dead of night,_

_Take these broken wings and learn to fly_

_All your life_

_You were only waiting for this moment to arrive."_

This song had always been Kurt's favourite Beatles song. This mother had introduced him to the music of the Beatles when he was very young and he had grown up with the songs always playing around the house until she died. His father wasn't as much a fan as his mother had been, Burt always preferred Mellancamp which Kurt could never really see the appeal of.

It was strange that whenever he sang this song so much emotion would well up inside of him and he'd feel so connected with his mother and yet no one else could see or understand that. They just saw a person singing a song but to him it meant the world and more. Kurt supposed that all artist felt that about their music, especially if they had written the songs themselves about their own life and experiences.

This was a particular gift of Kurt's. He could see the raw beauty behind music. He never took anything to do with music at face value because there was always more to it than that.

XXXX

Blaine sat up straighter on the sofa as he listened to the guy up on stage, whose name he hadn't quite caught, that was singing a song by his all-time favourite group, the Beatles. The boy's voice was beautiful and haunting in a way that Blaine had never heard before. It was like this song was completely his and he really owned it.

And the guy wasn't bad looking either. He was pale with flawless features. He was tall and thin but you could see some slight definition of muscle on him. And his clothes were impeccable.

Blaine shook his head wondering why on earth he was thinking about some guy like that. It was the music and the singing mainly that found Blaine admiring the guy on the stage. His cover of this song was outstanding. Blaine usually hated when people sang a Beatles song because nothing could compare to the greatness that they were. He'd never even sung one really because he doubted he could do the music or the lyrics justice. He loved to sing and he was good at it but he doubted that he was perfect. Certainly no one had ever preferred him over others.

No Blaine was a writer of music. He was studying Music Composition, much to the disgrace of his father, but he really loved it. Making music was a beautiful process that Blaine liked to immerse himself into. Sometimes he would disappear for days and wouldn't be seen until the piece that he had been working on sounded perfect. Hardly anyone had ever heard his compositions apart from his lecturer because he worried about what people would think of his music. It was all very personal and Blaine didn't know if he wanted to allow anyone that close to him.

But listening to the guy on stage singing, Blaine could feel his creative juices flowing. He could hear melodies complimenting that voice start to form in his head and he knew that he needed to write it all down.

Grabbing a napkin and a pen he did just that. Glancing from between the boy on the stage and the napkin where a ton of ideas were almost writing themselves down. This boy was like a muse and Blaine didn't even know him, but boy, would he love to. He'd been having a hard time writing any music recently, the lyrics wouldn't sit right and the melodies never seemed to be quite what he had pictured in his mind.

" _Blackbird fly, blackbird fly_

_Into the light of the dark black night."_

There was complete silence in the room as the boy sung. His voice was extraordinary, nothing like Blaine or it seemed, anyone else in the bar, had heard before.

" _All your life_

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise,_

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise,_

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise."_

The whole bar clapped even more enthusiastically than they had the first time and the boy blushed and scurried off of the stage and Blaine lost him in the crowd of people.

Blaine sighed, knowing that it was unlikely that he'd be able to find that boy again tonight and so resigned himself to the idea that the boy might show up again and that he was probably a student at NYU just like Blaine and his friends. He know he needed to see him again though. He was Blaine's muse.

Gathering his things together, Blaine said a brief goodbye to his friends and waved over at Sam letting him know that he was going. He headed out into the street that, while it was dark, it was still slightly warm. Instead of making his way to Amy's place he went back to his dorm room. He couldn't be around Amy right now, not while music was fighting to be written down and played. The dorms were quiet, everyone having gone out for the night. He quickly let himself into his room and went over to the corner of the room where his music equipment was. It didn't take long for him to immerse himself in the music.

XXXX

Kurt went back to the bar and slipped into his seat. The people he passed patted him on the back as he went, telling him how much they enjoyed his rendition. He shyly thanked them as he went, not quite believing that they had all liked his singing.

"Hey Kurt. You were really good. I hope you'll come back and sing more. This bar will be glad to have a voice like yours." Sam said with a grin, sliding a drink across to him.

"Thank you." Kurt said, taking the drink and sipping it. He'd got unbelievably hot whilst he had been performing and he was glad of the cool liquid.

"Honestly man, you were amazing. You've given me chills."

Kurt blushed, not quite believing the attention he was getting from Sam especially.

Rachel looked at her friend and noticed his behaviour and knew that this would end badly for him. Kurt was being flirty and she was pretty sure that Sam was straight. There was no doubt that Kurt was going to get hurt through this. She'd let him have tonight though before she burst that bubble.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh dang, I'm sorry about being late again, I've never had anything pre-written before so I keep forgetting what day I have chosen to update on :S But I have it written on my calender now that every Saturday I will be updating!
> 
> Thank you all for your reviews, I'm going to be replying to them after this chapter is up! It means so much that people are liking this.
> 
> *Oh warning for the chapter, there is some straight smut in there, please don't hate me*

Kurt returned to the bar, several nights a week. Sometimes with Rachel and sometimes without. After a few weeks he had managed to work out which nights Sam was working and then those were the nights that he would pay the establishment a visit. He wasn't being a creeper, he did come for the events that they held and to get out of his dorm room. Seeing Sam was just a perk.

Kurt felt like he was getting the hang of this flirting thing. He didn't yet know if it was working but he enjoyed doing it. He just needed to work his way to get the courage that he needed to ask him out. The idea of doing it made him way too nervous so he figured that he would make his way up to it.

Sam taught Kurt a lot about New York. Kurt had come here wide-eyed and naïve and he hadn't really thought about many of the other aspects of New York apart from the acceptance of people for other sexualities. There was actually a lot more to it than that. People moved so fast and barely had time for anybody else. There was so many people around, you were never truly on your own but at the same time, most of the time, you could be completely alone. It was a strange experience for Kurt, going from a small town where everyone mostly knew everybody else, to a big city where it seemed that no one really wanted to take any time out to get to know another person.

Kurt wasn't really making any friends in his classes. He had thought that college would be better than high school and he would escape the loneliness. College was exactly like high school in that there were different kinds of people all in their certain groups. Then there were the different clubs to go to which almost everyone was in one or another. Kurt hadn't managed to find one that he felt that he belonged to. He had looked around but nothing had really caught his fancy.

Honestly he was starting to worry that he would never fit in properly. Sam was the only person, apart from Rachel that really talked to him. His dad only rang him once a week and Kurt didn't want to ring him anymore than that in case his father caught on to the fact that Kurt wasn't really fitting in, in New York. He was feeling a little embarrassed, truth be told. He could only hope that things would start to get better from here.

XXXX

Blaine glanced at his phone again as it notified him of another missed call from his girlfriend. He hadn't really talked to Amy all that much since that night he'd watched that guy perform Blackbird.

The muse had hit him full force and so he was spending most of his time in his room with his headphones on so that he could play his instruments way into the night or he was holed up in a classroom, with the permission of his lecturers. He just couldn't seem to stop writing and playing about with music, crafting it into something beautiful. There were lyrics written but none of them were recorded. The only voice that could sound right for these were that of the guy from the karaoke night at the bar because that was the voice that he heard whenever he heard the lyrics.

He knew that Amy didn't really understand but music to her seemed to be less of a personal thing and she would never understand his genre of music. She was more interested in a good dance beat and lyrics that didn't make a lot of sense. In a way he pitied that she couldn't connect more with the music. He thought that it was such a beautiful thing when someone could feel something through the music being played. He knew that music had always featured in his life and he couldn't imagine not being connected to it. It was such a big part of him.

It was because of this and other reasons that many wondered why Blaine and Amy were together. He was used to his friends questioning the relationship but many of them were nice enough to have just accepted it without the questions. Hell, even sometimes Blaine himself questioned his decision to date her. He wasn't one to sleep around and so it seemed only natural that he should ask her out and they should become official. She had laughed at him at first, not really believing that he was asking her out. She had expected him to do the deed and then walk out of her life. She had said yes immediately when she realised that he was being serious. The relationship was weird but Blaine couldn't really complain. Both of their sexual appetites were healthy and they had a good time together. He just had no idea where the relationship was going to go. He couldn't see himself marrying her, that was for sure. But really he couldn't see himself marrying anybody right at that moment. He resigned himself to the thought that the right one would come along at the right time and he just had to wait. It wasn't like he needed it right now. Not while he was still studying.

Looking away from his phone, Blaine focused back on the keyboard, his fingers moving over the keys as he played the melody that he had been working on for most of the day. He was a bit of a perfectionist and often went over and over different parts until they seemed perfect to him. He couldn't wait until he could put the whole song together and maybe eventually he could find the guy from the bar and ask him to sing it for him. He just couldn't shake himself from the idea that this song was made for him, and him only to sing. No one else would do.

Blaine worked steadily for another two hours before a knock on his door interrupted him mid-flow. He frowned at being disturbed from the music but got up from the piano stool and went over to answer the door. His limbs felt stiff from being in the same position without stretching for a while.

Opening the door Blaine was greeted to a full body hug from his girlfriend who disengaged from the hug so that she could lock lips with him immediately. He returned her kiss but with less enthusiasm.

"Hey baby. It's been so long since I saw you last or even spoke to you. What've you been doing babe? I hope you aren't seeing another woman." Amy said coyly, doubting that he actually would be.

"Hey babe, sorry. I've been working crazy hard on college work and I've just been way too focused on that to think of anything else." Blaine said apologetically.

Amy tsked at him before making her way further into the room. Blaine gazed after her before closing his door. He was surprised that she had come round.

"I've missed you babe." Amy said, getting herself situated on Blaine bed and taking off her jacket.

"Yeah I missed you too." Blaine said, going back over to his piano stool and straddling it so that he could face her to talk to her.

"So what has made you so busy? It can't just be work for college. Because if it is then you really need to take a break. The year has only just started"

Blaine didn't want to tell her about the music he was writing. It was a very personal thing when he was still in the stages of developing it. Not even his friends knew that he was in the midst of writing something. He would tell them when he had finished and if he could get it perfect. Because Amy wasn't very understanding of his love of writing music it was very hard to confide in her about something that meant so much to him. He knew that she wouldn't understand and he didn't want anyone tainting his passion. Maybe that was selfish, he wasn't quite sure.

"I just wanted to get started on practising early. You never know and I'm like a boy scout, I like to be prepared." Blaine smiled.

"I could get down with the boy scout image." Amy winked at Blaine and he couldn't help but chuckle. "So what do you say?" Amy said, that look in her eye which made Blaine know exactly why she had come round.

And really who was he to resist.

Amy stood up from the bed and pulled Blaine toward her and they started kissing desperately he hands getting lost in his curls, pulling him closer to her so that they could grind together. She pulled him back towards the bed and then turned so that she could push him back on to the bed. She leant down to her purse and pulled out a condom and waved it at Blaine.

"Look who came prepared herself." Amy smiled coyly and him.

She undressed herself, stripping herself of her short skirt and patterned t-shirt until she was left in a matching bra and panties. She took her time removing those pieces of clothing until she was completely naked in front of Blaine and no one could deny that she was beautiful.

She moved toward Blaine and unbuckled his belt and pulled down his jeans. He leant up so that he could pull his t-shit off and while he was taking care of that he felt a wet heat cover his cock as Amy took his length into her mouth and licked and sucked.

"Oh, holy crap." Blaine muttered, his eyes threatening to roll back in his head.

She pulled off, replacing her mouth with her hand. "You like that baby?"

"Shit, babe." Was all Blaine could say in reply.

Amy took the condom off of Blaine and unwrapped it before rolling it down his length. Before Blaine could say anything more she had straddled his waist and sunk down so that his cock filled her pussy.

"Oh god, you fill me up so much. Fuck, so big." Amy moaned as she started to bounce on his cock.

Blaine held onto her hips and pumped his hips so that he was meeting her efforts.

They never had sex slowed down. It was always fast and sometimes a bit rough which both of them loved. Amy really loved to feel her pussy being fucked and never wanted to do anything that was slow and sensual. Sometimes she could be insatiable and Blaine had to find the perfect angle to be able to make her come repeatedly, which she loved.

It had been a while for both of them and they both reached completion after not long. Blaine emptied his come into the condom as he could feel her walls clamp around him. She pulled off of him and stripped him of the condom, tying it up and chucking it in the general direction of the bin. Then she laid down beside him and snuggled into his side.

"Mmm, that was so good." She said as she ran a hand across Blaine's bare chest and he had to agree with her. "We both deserve a rest after that."

"Sure." Blaine said, curling an arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him, feeling her naked and flushed skin against his own.

He was still staring at the ceiling long after she had dozed off.

XXXX

Kurt was sat at the bar on a Wednesday night which was always the slow night there. Sam was working but he had a lot more time to chat as customers mostly came in to play pool and sit in little groups to chat.

"So how are you getting on a few weeks in, new kid?" Sam asked.

"It's not too bad. The workload is manageable so far and I'm managing to keep up with all the acting techniques. I just hope I can continue this way." Kurt smiled at Sam.

"That's great. But I'm warning you now that everyone gets ten times harder in second year. Not that I want to scare you or anything." Sam winked at Kurt and Kurt could feel himself blushing.

"One step at a time." Kurt laughed and Sam laughed along with him.

"Hey white chocolate." A woman's voice sounded from the doorway.

A black woman approached the bar and leaned toward Sam placing a kiss on Sam's willing lips and Kurt felt himself freeze up.

"Who's your friend, Sam?" the woman asked, smiling toward Kurt.

"This is Kurt, he's a first year. Kurt this is Mercedes, my girlfriend." Same face was light at the announcement and you could tell that he was proud to be with her and she obviously meant a lot to him.

Kurt didn't know how he managed to hold a good conversation with Mercedes when he was feeling pretty shell-shocked.

Once again he had made a fool out of himself by chasing after someone that was straight. First Finn and now Sam. It was getting to the point where Kurt was getting tired of everything. He seemed to always be making a fool out of himself and what was worse Sam hadn't even corrected him. He must have known that Kurt had been attempting to flirt and yet he hadn't said anything to deter Kurt. He couldn't help but feel humiliated and he wanted nothing more than to just go back to his room and bury his head under his pillow and leave the real world alone for a while. It was one of the worst knocks to any confidence he had thought that he had built up.

As soon as Kurt could find a point to leave where it wouldn't make him seem rude, he took it. He went back to his room as quickly as possible before the tears of humiliation started to make his way down his cheeks. That would be even more embarrassing. When he finally made it back to his room he threw himself on his bed and shoved his head into the pillows, allowing the tears to fall, knowing that once they had the situation wouldn't seem as bad as it did right now. He just felt so stupid.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late! I went to see the Vamps on Saturday, and I didn't get the chance to post this up because I had a ton of assignments due to hand in. Never fear I will be posting again on Saturday so you won't have long to wait for the next one!

It was easy to guess that Kurt hadn't returned to the bar after the incident with Sam and his girlfriend, Mercedes. His pride was hurt more than anything. It wasn't like he was heartbroken, he didn't really know all that much about Sam and he wasn't some little boy that fell in love without even getting anywhere with them, as Kurt hadn't with Sam.

Kurt hadn't realised exactly how much time he had spent going to the bar until he stopped going and realised that he hadn't really done much else apart from the time he spent working on his studies. The only friend he had managed to make had been Sam and he hadn't seen Rachel for quite some time. Whenever he knocked on her door she wasn't there so Kurt assumed that she had made some friends and that she was spending time with them.

He would try her again tonight, he wanted someone that he could talk to about everything and she was his best friend, even if he hadn't exactly been acting like one lately but he was sure that she would understand.

On the plus side Kurt had got a lot of work done, spending his time shut up in his room. He was well ahead of those in his class and his teachers were very impressed by him. At least something was going right for him, he supposed.

It took a week for Kurt to finally be able to get a hold of Rachel and boy was he shocked when he finally did. She had completely changed. She had highlights streaking the ends of the hair and gone were her bangs, her hair was now swept mostly to one side. And her clothes? Well Kurt definitely approved of her change of wardrobe even though it was completely unexpected of the Rachel that he knew. Gone were any jumpers or tops with animals on the front and her little pumps had been replaced with different kinds of boots and high heels.

"I had my New York make-over Kurt! Everyone goes through one and they come out the other side even more prepared for the New York and the world. I've made so many new friends since my make-over and I've gained a ton of respect. I have so many gatherings that I'm going to that I'm practically booked for the whole year!" Rachel boasted, happily.

"Wow, that's awesome Rachel." Kurt was really happy for her.

"It's like I've found my true family, you know? We're all amazing and talented, though of course I'm the most talented in the group. We all go out partying to clubs! Kurt I go out to clubs and by alcohol with my fake I.D. It's so much fun!"

Kurt had a hard time containing his shock. He would never had imagined Rachel to be out drinking and partying but he supposed she was growing up and expanding her horizons. He couldn't help but feel a little left behind. Rachel had kind of made it clear that he was no longer a part of her social group even though she insisted that he would always be her best friend. Kurt didn't hold much by that, doubting that with the new life that she seemed to obtain and the little that Kurt had done since he had got to New York would ever mesh.

He had briefly seen the kind of people that Rachel hung out with at college and they had made it clear that they didn't think that Kurt was good enough to hang out with them. Suddenly he felt like the kid on the sports team that didn't get picked till last and the feeling sucked even more when you were older. They had reluctantly invited him out at the request of Rachel but Kurt didn't have a fake I.D so he couldn't go anyway and he didn't really have a problem with that. The people that Rachel was hanging out with now didn't seem like that kind of people that Kurt particularly wanted to be spending any time with.

So that was how Kurt found himself spending more and more time alone and he was honestly getting a little sick of it.

XXXX

Blaine leant back from his piano feeling very positive about the song writing session that he had just had. The song was almost finished, all the melodies were in place and the lyrics were written, waiting to be sung. And that was where Blaine came across his problem. The song had been created for a specific voice. The owner of that voice was the guy that Blaine had heard singing. He had no idea who the guy was, what his name was or if he would ever see him again.

Blackbird, as Blaine had labelled him for now, had frequented the bar for a few weeks after the performance that had shocked Blaine to his core but all of a sudden he had stopped going to the bar and Blaine had absolutely no way of getting a hold of him. It sucked because Blaine was particularly proud of this song but it would never be fully complete without that voice. It was the voice that Blaine had heard in his head as he had written the song and the lyrics. This song was practically written just for this guy. And it sucked that he might never even get the chance to hear it.

He had seen that Blackbird had spent a lot of time at the bar and had talked to Sam so Blaine's last port of call was going to be his best friend even though Sam would probably ask all sorts of questions that Blaine didn't really want to answer. But he really wanted this song to be perfect and he wanted to finish it. He honestly thought that it deserved that. He decided to give it another week and if he didn't see the guy then he would talk to Sam.

That week came and went and there was no sign of the guy. One might think that he had been a figure of Blaine's imagination but Blaine didn't believe that. He waited until one evening when they were all round at Sam's girlfriend's house. She wasn't a college student even though she was the same age as them. She had a recording contract and was in New York recording the music for her record. She had lived in Los Angeles but she had wanted to be closer to Sam so she had told her rep that she wanted a more New York sound to her album, whatever that was.

Blaine, Sam, Mercedes, Wes and David were all there for a movie night. It was a rare Saturday that Sam had off and they were all looking forward to relaxing somewhere other than the bar and they would be able to have a proper chat with Sam without him having to disappear constantly to help customers.

"Hey, Sam. Can I talk to you for a sec?" Blaine asked, shifting himself so that he was on the edge of his seat in the armchair.

"Yeah, what's up buddy? Girl problems?" Sam asked jokingly.

"I kinda figured that we could talk in private."

"Come on man. We're all friends here." Sam reassured Blaine.

Blaine sighed, knowing that Sam didn't want to move and miss any of the film they were watching. It was Avatar so Blaine knew he had seen it at least a billion times.

"Well I was wondering if you could help me find someone actually." Blaine said, knowing it would garner Sam's attention and he was correct.

"Who're you looking for? And is it out of vengeance?" Sam asked.

Blaine rolled his eyes. "It's not out of vengeance, Sam. I heard this guy singing during a karaoke session at the bar and ever since then I haven't been able to get his voice out of my head. I've written a song based around that voice and it's not going to be complete without it. I know it sounds weird and the guy will probably think I'm an utter freak if I ever manage to find him but it just demanded to be created." Blaine said, letting his passion mask the nervousness he was feeling.

"You're looking for a guy? What does Amy think to that?" David laughed while Sam and Blaine shared a knowing look.

"It's not like that. Honestly I just loved his voice so much and the music just came to me. Will you help me try to find him?" Blaine asked, a little pleadingly.

"Sure buddy. You wanna give me any clues?" Sam asked.

"The guy that sang Blackbird, I can't remember his name, even though he said it that evening. I noticed that he had been sat at the bar a lot and sometimes it looked like you guys were talking." Blaine said.

"Oh you mean Kurt?" Mercedes asked.

"Kurt?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah that guy's name is Kurt. He's a first year. That night that he sang the song about the bird was his first night in New York." Sam said.

"Oh wow that's awesome. So you know him? Can you get me in touch with him?" Blaine asked, inching even further forward on his chair.

Sam frowned. "I wish I could buddy but I have no way of contacting him. I haven't seen him since the night that I introduced him to 'Cedes. It's like he has completely disappeared from the planet. Something a bit funny going on there." Sam said but shrugged it off.

"Damn." Blaine muttered to himself.

"Hey, don't look so down. Just keep your eyes peeled around college. If he attends NYU than eventually you're going to spot him wandering around. Just be patient. You'll meet when you're supposed to, when the time is exactly right." Mercedes said, giving Blaine a reassuring pat on his arm. She was a big believer in fate and things happening for a reason.

"I guess." Blaine said, settling back in to his chair.

The room went quiet apart from the movie playing. Everyone in the group was looking more at Blaine, completely confused as to why he was so upset about this and why that guy was so important to Blaine. Even they didn't quite understand the song writing process that Blaine went through and they couldn't possibly understand why Blaine needed that boy.

"We'll all keep an eye out for you mate." Wes said.

"Thanks guys. I appreciate it."

"I do know that he studies Musical Theatre but that's about it. I don't know if that helps anything." Sam said with a sad smile on his face.

"I'll try to keep a look out." Blaine said and turned back to the television.

The guy was probably going to be impossible to find as there were a ton of Musical Theatre students in the first year that always got thinned out by the second year. Blaine just hoped that this guy turned up again.

XXXX

Kurt stared at the flyer that had been given out after his acting class. It was for a dance class that any of the students could attend, twice a week in the evening. He wouldn't mind giving it a go actually. He had always felt that his dancing could be improved and he had to admit that he was struggling with all the moves in his dance classes in school. He might even make some friends while he was there. He was beginning to feel pretty lonely and was starting to wonder whether New York had been a mistake. He didn't want to return to Ohio, he hated the place but at least he had a support network there. Making his mind up Kurt slipped the flier into his bag and headed for home.

The dance classes started that night so as soon as Kurt got back to his room he got his dance bag and packed his clothes into it, adding a brunch bar and his water bottle, which he'd fill up when he got there. He was kind of excited to finally be doing something. He felt like he hadn't really done much since he had got to New York and after the whole humiliation over Sam. He really needed to pick himself up and get into gear.

He grabbed microwave lasagne out of his mini fridge and warmed it up in the microwave. He didn't want anything too heavy because he didn't know what level of dance the class would be and he wanted to make sure that he wasn't too hungry but at the same time he didn't want to eat too much so that the activity of the dancing would make him feel ill.

He ate quickly, not wanting to be late and disturb the class. He made his way back to the main buildings of NYU and into the dance hall.

There were already a few people there getting the place set up. So far it looked like he was the only boy there and there were five other girls as well as someone who looked like she would be the teacher.

Kurt went into the changing rooms and got changed into his dance kit before going back into the room and over to the teacher. Her name was Madeline and she was very helpful. Kurt arranged payment for the classes with her and went to help the girls that were arranging the room. Only a few more girls arrived later and Kurt was definitely the only guy in the room and he tried not to let that make him self-conscious.

The dance class went really well. Everyone there was at difference levels and Kurt wasn't the worst one there. There was someone that was very advanced and Kurt didn't actually know why she was there. It didn't seem like she needed any help and when Kurt asked she told him to mind his own business before replying that she just loved to dance but she had no formal training to take it anywhere and this class was the training.

"The name is Santana. Santana Lopez." She said, allowing Kurt to shake her hand.

"Kurt Hummel."

"I like you Kurt. You're not that bad of a dancer and I saw you singing at The Hangout. You were good. As it goes I'm looking for someone to hang-out with this weekend and I figure that you could use a friend like me. What do you say?"

Kurt was taken aback by Santana's bluntness but he had to be honest that he really did need a friend and Santana seemed like a good choice. They weren't at all alike so Kurt wondered how a friendship with her would go but it was better than nothing.

"I'm free." Kurt said.

"Good. Give me your number and I'll call you."

The two exchanged numbers and went their separate ways. As Kurt left for home he was happy that he had put himself out there. Santana might not have been the first choice of friend but that was the beauty of New York, Kurt supposed. You never knew what could happen.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Saturday! I am actually so proud that I have gotten this up, I'm so forgetful so this is a big achievement for me! Thank you for all the support for this story, it means a lot!

Blaine's mood worsened as the weeks went on and there was still no sign of Kurt. Having the song left unfinished was a really upsetting feeling. He'd lost a lot of the motivation that he needed for his course and his teachers were a little disappointed in his progress though it wasn't anything too dangerous for his course at the moment. He'd been spending a lot of time just lazing around with the occasional evening where he went to The Hangout just in the hopes that Kurt would go back there. He was having no such luck.

He threw a lot of effort into spending time with Amy which she was quite enjoying. He never had so much sex in his life and while he loved the sex he wasn't as enthusiastic as he normally was. He felt like such a fool and he knew that he was being kind of stupid about this but he couldn't change the way he wrote music.

He was losing faith in all honesty. Laid in his room, staring up at the ceiling, he knew that he needed to get over this. He was acting like a weirdo. Rolling off of his bed and up onto his feet he grabbed his jacket and left his room. He closed the door behind him to start walking off down the hall but instantly crashed into someone, sending them sprawling to the floor.

"Ah, crap. I'm sorry." Blaine said, helping the person he knocked down back onto their feet.

"No, it's my fault. Thank you for helping me up."

Blaine paused as he took in the guy that he had helped up and he couldn't help the look of elation that came to his face. "It's you!" he exclaimed.

Kurt widen his eyes as he looked at the guy that he crashed into. "Me?"

"Yes, you're Kurt."

Kurt looked at Blaine strangely and then Blaine remembered that Kurt had no idea who he was. "My name is Blaine, um, Anderson. I heard you singing Blackbird and I thought you were amazing."

"Oh thank you." Kurt blushed. "So you live next door?" he asked motioning towards Blaine closed door.

"Umm, oh I guess I do." Well now Blaine felt stupid, he had been living next door to Kurt this whole time and he hadn't even known it. All his searching and he'd been right under his nose.

"Well I have to go. I'm meeting a friend. It was really nice meeting you though, Blaine." Kurt said, about to start on his way.

"Wait, Kurt? Would we be able to hang out sometime? I feel bad that we haven't before now, especially as we live next door to each other." Blaine didn't want to seem desperate but he didn't want Kurt to just disappear on him again and this way at least he'd be able to keep in contact with him.

"I'm free tomorrow night after my dance class. We can hang out then. Around eight?"

"That sounds great. I'll knock on the door." Blaine smiled.

"Cool." Kurt's eyes sparkled. "Well I'll see you later, Blaine." Kurt smiled at Blaine and then made his way out of the halls.

Blaine stood still for a moment, not quite believing what had taken place. Then he high-tailed it to Mercedes house where all his friends were having another movie night.

He rang the doorbell and brushed past Wes, who answered the door, straight into the living room where David, Sam and Mercedes were sat getting the movies out ready to pick which one.

"He lives next door to me." Blaine said without greeting anyone hello.

"Care to explain." David said completely clueless.

"Kurt. He lives in the room next to mine in the dorms. He been there the entire time!" Blaine enthused.

"Whoa. Seriously?" Sam asked a grin etching across his face. "Dude that's awesome!"

"I know right." Blaine rocked on his heels, not able to stay still.

"So you can finally finish your song, right?" Mercedes asked.

"Well, I'll need to talk to him about it. At the moment I'm just a stranger who literally bashed into him and practically sent him flying. But I told him I saw him singing at the bar and we've agreed to meet up tomorrow after his dance class or something. I think I'll spend some time just getting to know him and then I'll approach him about it."

"That's a good idea. I'm glad you're using your head." Wes said, teasingly.

Blaine stuck his tongue out at his friend and then practically flung himself into his seat in Mercedes' armchair. He was so unbelievably happy that after all this time, which had been a good few months, he had finally found Kurt and he could form a friendship with him. Gosh the thought made him giddy. He knew that he had been entirely too grouchy lately and he didn't know how his friends had put up with him. They were probably glad that he'd finally made some progress with the whole thing.

"Oh Blaine, would you be able to ask Kurt why he hasn't been to the bar for a while. Tell him I'm missing my conversation buddy." Sam smiled good-heartedly.

Blaine promised Sam that he would and then they focused on picking the movies of the night and grabbing all the snacks they would need. As the first movie started to play, Blaine relaxed into his seat and thought about the song that he had written and how he had almost given up on it completely. He was so glad that he hadn't and he couldn't wait to see if Kurt would agree to sing the lyrics.

XXXX

Kurt felt a little giddy after his long-awaited meeting with his neighbour. He couldn't believe that someone remembered him and his singing. Better yet they had liked his singing. Kurt couldn't deny that it was a real confidence boost.

Blaine had been kind of adorable, he had seemed a little unsure of himself and nervous. Kurt couldn't imagine how talking to him could make someone nervous but he wasn't one to judge. For all he knew Blaine could have an anxiety problem and Kurt wasn't one to judge. It wasn't like he was the most confident person in the world. Sometimes it could be quite the opposite,scratch that, most of the time.

Kurt briefly wondered if Blaine might be gay like himself but quickly stopped that train of thought. He didn't even want to begin dwelling on it. He didn't want to make a fool out of himself again like he had with Sam. That was definitely something that he didn't want to repeat.

Kurt shook the thoughts away from his head and put his mind back on to the task at hand. He and Santana were going out shopping because Santana had a date tonight with a girl called Dani and she wanted to look her best in a brand new outfit. Dani and Santana worked at the same diner and the uniform wasn't exactly the most flattering of outfits so Santana really wanted to 'wow' Dani in a killer outfit.

She had reluctantly admitted to Kurt that she could do with his help on this one because while she was altogether fabulous, she needed a second opinion and when it came to fashion she trusted Kurt more than anybody else.

Kurt and Santana had become friends really quickly. At first it had been strange because Kurt wasn't used to the way that Santana was brutally honest which could sometimes be confused with rudeness, which is what Kurt had done at first. But Santana had explained it to him when he had looked particularly hurt at a statement that she had made by saying, "The only straight I am is straight-up bitch."

And that was just the kind of friend that Santana was and Kurt couldn't deny he really liked having her as a friend. It was kind of refreshing and she didn't have the same dreams as Kurt so the competition element wasn't there like it was with Rachel.

Rachel. He hadn't really talked to her in a long time. She had become pretty popular among the theatre people at NYU and had somehow managed to gain an entourage of people that seemed to worship the ground that she walked on. Something which Rachel had always wanted. The few things that she and Kurt had done together had seemed forced and it made Kurt sad to think that slowly but surely he was losing the person who had been his best friend. He knew that he often complained about her but when it really came down to it they were friends and Kurt would have her back. He had assumed that that would go both ways. Unfortunately he had been wrong. Now whenever Rachel saw Kurt she made it her business to tell him about all the amazing opportunities that she was getting and how amazing she had become since her time in college had begun. She'd always end her updates about herself by asking if Kurt had done anything of substance yet, which in truth he hadn't really.

Kurt was still trying to find his footing. New York was the place he was sure that he had been destined to shine in but the truth was he was a small town boy. He had hardly ever been out of Lima, let alone Ohio and New York was so much bigger than the town he had grown up in. It was scary to think just how different they were. Clearly he was still having a hard time getting used to the difference. He knew that eventually he would get there, no matter what it took. It'd probably take some more time but he was willing to bide his time, surviving until he had really gotten to grips with everything. He'd get there, that's what he had to keep telling himself.

"Oi, Porcelain. What do you think of this dress?" Santana broke Kurt out of his thoughts, motioning toward the dress that she had just put on in the changing rooms.

The dress was blue and hugged her curves nicely. It showed off some of her cleavage but not too much that it became tacky. Kurt fully approved of this dress and out of all of the others he liked this the most and he told Santana so.

"You really think this one is the best?" She asked Kurt unsure.

It was times like this that Kurt saw the other side of Santana. Yes she was a bitch most of the time and she had no problem cutting others down but when it came to herself she could be insecure sometimes. Of course she always covered it up with some witty retort or an insult to the other person but there were brief glimpses of a deeper side to this girl. And honestly that was why Kurt was her friend. She had a fragile side and that was the side that had probably wanted to befriend Kurt and he wasn't going to complain about that. He just wished that she could truly know how beautiful she really was.

"I'm positive. I would never steer you wrong. Not when it comes to fashion. You looked incredible." Kurt said honestly.

"I do, don't I?" Santana said a smile flashed across her face and she made a duck face into the mirror. "Who can resist this? Apart from you obviously, gay face."

Santana smiled at Kurt and he didn't feel offence at her name knowing it was just the act.

"Well let's go and buy that thing!" Kurt said, happily.

He left Santana to get changed before they went over to the tills and brought the dress and some tall black heels to go with it.

They took their purchases and went to have lunch at a little restaurant. Both of them ordered a salad, both being constantly worried about their figure even though they didn't need to. They ate together and chatted about the new routines that they were learning in dance, both of them looking forward to more challenging moves and techniques. Kurt had certainly been getting better in the dancing department as Santana had made it her personal mission to get him up to speed. Her being an amazing dancer already made it easy for her to teach Kurt exactly what he should be doing and they always partnered together for any dances that required a pair. Because of Santana, Kurt was doing much better in his actual dance class at school and his teacher was impressed by his progress. They practised together a lot and she had managed to convince Kurt to take her out Salsa dancing which Kurt had never done before but was very much looking forward to attempting.

Kurt told Santana about his mistake with Sam at the bar and she had been sort of sympathetic. She laughed at him at first before realising that he was actually quite upset about it. She knew Sam from around and tried to assure Kurt that he was probably very oblivious to Kurt's flirting and so Kurt didn't really have anything to worry about unless he still had a crush on him. Kurt was adamant that he didn't anymore. He had learnt his lesson after the whole situation with Finn and it wasn't like he was in love with Sam or anything. That would have been ridiculous.

Santana promised that one day they would both go to a gay bar together and Kurt had to admit he was looking forward to it. He had never been to a gay bar before. There was one in Lima called Scandals but it had nothing on the type of bars that New York held. Even foregoing the fact that Kurt was under-age he would never have felt safe going to Scandals, he'd heard many stories about people being beaten up as they left it and Kurt didn't want that happening to him. Once again New York felt safer so Kurt felt that if he wanted to go to a gay bar then he wouldn't be harmed for it.

All in all, Kurt felt like maybe, just maybe he was beginning to find his place. Slowly but surely he would get there and he honestly couldn't wait.

XXXX

Blaine smoothed down his clothes anxiously as he waited for Kurt to answer his door. He briefly wondered whether Kurt had remembered and panicked for a second thinking that maybe Kurt hadn't really wanted to hang out with Blaine. Blaine wanted to hit himself for being so stupid. He was acting like an in love teenager, neither of which he was, not really.

Kurt answered the door after about a minute looking flushed. "I'm so sorry. Can you give me a minute?" Kurt asked

"Sure." Blaine smiled at Kurt, his nerves felt like a knot in his chest.

Kurt quickly disappeared into his room and came out two minutes later looking a bit calmer.

"Sorry about that. Dance class really kicked my ass today."

"Don't even worry about it." Blaine reassured Kurt.

"So where are we going?" Kurt asked.

Blaine grinned towards him. "I thought we could grab a cup of coffee and take a walk around Central Park. It won't be a crowded because it's getting late and it looks even more amazing at night."

"Sounds great." Kurt agreed readily to go. "I haven't actually been to Central Park yet. I feel kinda bad."

"You are missing out my friend. Come on, let's get the subway."

The ride on the subway was good. Kurt and Blaine had to stand close together because even at this time of night the carriage was packed. A few times Blaine had to steady Kurt, reaching out his arms to grab the boy before he could fall over because Kurt still wasn't quite used to the subway and Blaine was like an old pro at balancing when it came to these situations.

The whole situation could have been awkward but fortunately things seemed natural between them. Sure both of them were nervous and both of them had different reasons for feeling that way but it felt easier to brush aside those nerves and just focus on getting to know one another. They didn't talk much on the subway and when they got to the coffee place they only made small talk which included Blaine asking what Kurt's coffee order was so that he could buy him it.

Kurt felt giddy at the attention. No one had really treated him like he mattered so much before. It was a nice change even if it did confuse Kurt a bit. He didn't really have any clue who Blaine was and yet at the same time it was as if Kurt understood him.

They really began talking properly when they started to stroll through Central Park, both of them sipping their drinks which Blaine had bought. The air was chilly but not too bad, since it was October now. It was in fact still considerably warm for the month really and neither of the boys were complaining. Once they had wandered round for a bit they chose a bench to sit on and made themselves comfortable.

"So, tell me about yourself." Blaine said.

"Oh um. I dunno. What do you want to know?" Kurt asked awkwardly.

Blaine smiled reassuringly. "Who is Kurt Hummel?"

"I am." Kurt teased briefly. "No, no, okay. I'm originally from Ohio and moved here to New York, which has always been my dream, in order to do the Musical Theatre course at NYU. It's always been a dream of mine to be on Broadway which is what I'm aiming towards. I'm, ah, gay." Kurt said the last part a bit quieter, always unsure of what people's reactions will be.

"Cool. Okay I guess I should go." Blaine said, choosing not to make a big deal out of Kurt's sexuality. It didn't really matter to him. He was all for equality. "I'm from California, specifically Los Angeles. I moved to New York to study Musical Composition also at NYU. I'm in my second year and I paid to stay in the halls rather than getting my own place because New York is expensive and all my friends had already arranged housing with others and I was late to the game. Plus the rooms aren't too bad so why go elsewhere."

"And how are you finding your course? I've always been intrigued by song writing. You have to be very talented to do it. I don't think I'd ever be able to do it myself." Kurt said.

"Don't put yourself down. I'm sure if you really put your mind to it you'd be able to come up with something. As for my course it's going well. I'm top of my class. The only thing that holds me back is I need a specific mind-set to write anything which obviously doesn't always match up with what my lecturers want." Blaine laughed.

"Oh yeah. I bet that would be difficult." Kurt chuckled along with Blaine.

Their conversation continued over a range of topics, the both of them just getting to know one another. Kurt told Blaine all about his family and about his brother being in the army. Blaine in return told him about his own brother the famous Cooper Anderson and he saw the recognition on Kurt's face at the name. He couldn't help but look a little stonily at Kurt when he said that Cooper was the best looking man in the whole of North American. That certainly hit an old jealousy of Blaine's where it came to his brother.

Blaine didn't bring up the song that he had been writing. He worried that if he blurted out that he'd written a song with Kurt's voice in mind that he might scare of the boy and Blaine was really enjoying talking to him. It was kind of refreshing. He spent a lot of his time with his friends talking about sports or television shows and they didn't seem to be interested in the other things Blaine was interested in like fashion and music. Kurt loved talking about those things and boy did he have a lot to say about fashion. Blaine was in awe of some of the fashion choices that Kurt told him that he had worn during high school. He thought it was amazingly brave of Kurt to defy what was seen as 'normal'. He knew Ohio wasn't that accepting of people like Kurt, Kurt didn't even need to explain that to him.

They continued to talk as they made their way back home and had to cut the conversation short when they arrived back at their rooms and saw what the time was. They exchanged numbers so that they could arrange another hang out.

As both of them went into their own rooms they had similar thoughts. The evening had been like a date and they had both really enjoyed it. Kurt couldn't help but blush at the thought of that. For Blaine however, it left him feeling pretty confused.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saturday! I made it on time! Can I get a 'hell yeah!'... No, okay than aha Seriously though, thanks to all of you that have taken an interest in this story, it means the world to me :D

Kurt and Blaine went out for coffee frequently. They had dedicated afternoons in each week where they would go out to the coffee shop near the halls and they would drink around three cups of coffee each before they would go their separate ways.

Blaine still had yet to approach Kurt about the song he had written but he knew he would do it soon. He was itching to get the song finished and to hear Kurt's voice singing his lyrics. It was exciting to think that his song might be finished soon and he didn't worry about whether it was good or not because he felt it inside that this was going to the most amazing thing he had ever written. He had never been as captivated as he had been while he'd been organising the song together and he knew that all that work would pay off.

He had been trying to convince Kurt to come back to the Hangout on a karaoke night so that he could hear him sing again. He had fully admitted to Kurt that he really loved his singing. He'd even been so cheesy to say that Kurt's voice sounded like the angels singing which had made Kurt blush delightfully.

"Please Kurt! Please, we can even do a duet if you want." Blaine begged, giving Kurt his best puppy eyes.

"I can't go back there. I made a complete fool out of myself there and I feel way too humiliated to go back." Kurt admitted to Blaine, feeling comfortable enough to admit that to Blaine.

"What could you have possibly have done?" Blaine asked, intrigued.

"Urgh, I had a crush on one of the barmen and then I realised that he has a girlfriend and is definitely straight. It was so embarrassing!"

"Which barman?" Blaine asked.

"Blonde hair, his name is Sam." Kurt clarified.

"Oh, you mean my best friend?" Blaine asked a grin on his face.

Kurt's cheeks instantly went a bright red and he ducked away from Blaine.

"Hey. Come on, don't do that." Blaine said grabbing Kurt's shoulders and holding him in place. "You don't need to feel embarrassed about that. A lot of people have had a crush on him. Men and women. He's a good looking guy. Honestly though, he's kind of clueless. He probably didn't even realise that you were flirting on him. I know for a fact that he misses your conversations."

"Really?" Kurt asked, his voice small.

"I promise. Why don't we go there tonight? I guarantee that he will be happy to see you."

"Oh, I'm busy tonight. I'm hanging out with my friend Santana." Kurt said.

"She can come too. Tell her to get her sing on." Blaine chuckled, hoping that Kurt would come.

Kurt thought it over and then pulled out his phone to text Santana and ask her. He only had to wait a few seconds for a reply.

"She says that's no problem. So I guess we'll be doing karaoke tonight. You better sing this time though. I wanna hear your voice." Kurt said, his cheeks reddening a little bit.

"Your blush is adorable." Blaine couldn't help when the statement slipped out of his mouth, making Kurt blush even more.

Blaine chuckled. "Alright, I have to get to class but I will see you later. Text me when you arrive at the bar and I'll come and find you."

"Sure, see you later Blaine."

Kurt surprised both himself and Blaine by hugging him goodbye but that wasn't to say that it wasn't welcome to Blaine.

Blaine couldn't help but grin as he made his way to class. He was pretty sure that he was developing a crush on Kurt. He too had had a crush on Sam at the start of his first year and had admitted it to Sam. Obviously nothing had come of it and that had been the only other guy, apart from apparently Kurt, that Blaine had ever felt something for. He'd worked out from his crush on Sam that he was actually bisexual. He had started to notice that he found both men and women attractive. He hadn't come out as bisexual though because he knew that a lot of people didn't understand it and Blaine never acted of his attraction to men so people still identified him as straight. The only person who knew different was Sam and he had promised to keep Blaine's secret. Not that Blaine minded that he was bisexual. It made no difference to him. It just made life easier if people could stick him a certain particular box.

XXXX

"I don't know why I haven't ever been here." Santana said as she looked around the bar as they entered it. "Seems like a pretty cool place."

"Yeah I like this place." Kurt agreed. "I'm just going to text Blaine and let him know that we're here."

He sent the text and a few minutes later Blaine appeared in front of them. He grabbed Kurt into a hug before introducing himself to Santana.

"Hi, I'm Blaine. You must be Santana." He held out a hand to her which she promptly ignored.

"How's it going short stack?" Santana said by way of greeting and Blaine didn't take any offence having heard what she was like from Kurt.

"Can I get you guys a drink?" Blaine led them to the bar.

Kurt and Santana told him what they wanted and before they could offer him any money he had paid the girl at the bar. They took their drinks and Blaine led them back to the table where he and his friends were all sitting and he introduced Kurt and Santana to everyone.

"Hey Kurt! I haven't seen you in ages." Sam said greeting Kurt and chucking an arm around him.

"Sorry. I've been a bit busy." Kurt lied. "I've never seen you from out behind the bar before."

"Yeah." Sam laughed. "I finally got a night off and look where I am. Couldn't miss a karaoke night though."

"Are you going to be singing?" Kurt asked, as they all sat themselves around the table that the group had bagged.

"I'll be singing a duet with Cedes. My girlfriend the famous singer." Sam boasted and Kurt felt himself smiling.

"Well I can't wait."

"Right guys! Who's going first?" Blaine asked.

Santana raised from the seat and started moving towards the stage area of the bar. "I'll go. I haven't sung in a while. I'm kind of looking forward to this."

She went up to the stage and talked to the guy that was doing the music.

"Hey, I'm Santana Lopez and I'll be singing Valerie by Amy Winehouse."

The music started and everyone could see Santana getting into it easily.

" _Well sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water,_

_And I think of all the things, what you're doing,_

_And in my head I paint a picture."_

Santana's voice was phenomenal and suited the song perfectly. She did some light dancing across the stage and teased the guys that were close to her.

"' _Cause since I've come on home, well, my body's been a mess,_

_And I've missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress,_

_Won't you come on over, stop making a fool out of me._

_Why don't you come on over Valerie?"_

It was clear that a lot of people were loving Santana's singing and it was clear to see that she was having a great time. She was a natural performer and easily flirted with the guys in the audience.

When she finished the song the round of applause that she got was massive and that was without the amount of catcalls and wolf whistles that she got.

"Wow, Santana that was amazing. I never knew you could sing like that." Kurt said.

"All these hidden talents." She said, her tone was light but it was easy to see that she appreciated the compliment. "So who's up next?"

"I'll go." Kurt said and stood up. "Wish me luck!"

"With a voice like yours, you don't need luck." Blaine said honestly.

Kurt couldn't help but smile and then he headed to the stage area. Santana shot Blaine a look wondering if there was something going on between those two. As Kurt announced his song, she looked away from Blaine and focussed her attention on Kurt.

"I'm Kurt and I will be singing Just A Kiss by Lady Antebellum."

Kurt hadn't known where his song choice had come from but he had been listening to the song earlier and had really wanted to give a go at singing it. He thought that the song was beautiful and he hoped that he could do it some justice.

" _Lyin' here with you so close to me,_

_It's hard to fight these feeling when it feels so hard to breathe,_

_Caught up in this moment,_

_Caught up in your smile."_

Blaine heard Kurt's voice and it seemed even better than the last time. It was a voice that someone could get completely lost in and they wouldn't even care about it. God, did he love Kurt's voice.

Sam watched his friend, watching Kurt sing and knew that Blaine felt something that was more than friendship for this boy. The amount of emotion that was showing on Blaine's face right now was an easy give away to how he was feeling. He loved that Blaine had found something so amazing but he did worry. He had no clue where Blaine was going to take this relationship that he had with Kurt. Would it stay a friendship or morph into something else? And then there was the fact that Blaine had Amy.

" _Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight,_

_Just a touch of the fire burning so bright,_

_No I don't want to mess this things up,_

_I don't want to push too far._

_Just a shot in the dark that you just might,_

_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life,_

_So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight."_

Kurt closed his eyes as he sung the chorus, feeling the emotion behind the words. He was falling for Blaine and it was beautiful and terrifying at the same time. He hardly knew Blaine but it was like he had known him most of his life. He had no idea how Blaine felt or where Blaine's sexuality fell in the spectrum. Blaine had never said and it wasn't really a question that you asked someone.

As the song came to a close Kurt was afraid to open his eyes and be placed back in reality. He didn't want to make another mistake here and he just felt so unsure about everything. When Kurt sang the last note he opened his eyes to see Blaine looking straight at him with a big smile on his face and Kurt couldn't help but smile back.

He came back to the table and Blaine grabbed him in a tight hug. "See, amazing." Blaine whispered so it was just for Kurt.

"Thank you." Kurt whispered back and then broke away from the hug.

"Me gusta." Santana said and patted Kurt's butt before he sat down.

"You're an amazing singer, Kurt." Mercedes said and Kurt grinned at the praise, riding on the high of his performance.

"Thanks guys." He said bashfully.

"Come on Cedes, we better get up there." Sam said, getting up and taking Mercedes hand, the both of them heading over to the stage.

They introduced themselves and the song, with a lot of people cheered at their names, showing how well liked the both of them were at this bar.

" _Gym Class Heroes baby!_

_If I was just another dusty record on the shelf,_

_Would you blow me off and play me like everybody else,_

_If I ask you to scratch my back, could you manage that?_

_Like it read well, check it Trouty I can handle that._

_Furthermore, I apologize for any skipping tracks,_

_It's just the last girl that played me left a couple cracks._

_I used to, used to, used to, now I'm over that,_

_Cause holding grudges over love is ancient artefacts."_

Mercedes took over the lyrics and truly he voice was amazing. Who could blame Sam for bragging when she had a voice like that? Kurt could fully understand why a label would sign her as Sam had been proudly telling him while Santana had been on the stage singing.

" _If I could only find a not to make you understand,_

_I'd sing it softly in your ear and grab you by the hand."_

Sam took over again.

" _Just keep it stuck inside your head, like your favourite tune,_

_And know my heart is a stereo that only plays for you."_

The two singing together was a real treat and it was easy to see the chemistry that they had together. Everyone was really into the song too, though Kurt would have to get someone to explain the 'Trouty' part of it because he was sure they weren't the official lyrics.

When they finished they got a whole lot more applause and it was clear that the bar loved their performing. Sam thrust Mercedes in front of him making sure that she gave a little bow and she soaked up most of the applause. It was nice to see someone so dedicated and proud of another person. Kurt hoped that he could find someone like that.

"You guys were so amazing!" Kurt couldn't help but blurt out as they made their way back to the table.

"Aww thanks Kurt." Mercedes said, smiling back at Sam lovingly. "I just love singing with my Boo."

"It shows. Your chemistry, especially on stage is amazing."

Sam placed a kiss on Mercedes lips at Kurt's comment and Kurt couldn't help but find them cute.

It was clear that, just as Blaine had said, Sam was oblivious to the flirting that Kurt had been doing before. Probably because he was completely captivated by Mercedes. Because of this Kurt found it easy to fall back into the talking that they had been doing before and for that he was glad. Sam had the ability to make people feel happy just by being in his presence. It was probably because he appeared to be so carefree himself and he was accepting of everybody.

"So what are you going to sing Blaine?" Kurt asked.

Blaine gave Kurt a smug grin and pulled his guitar case out from behind the sofa that they were sat on. He took the guitar out of the case and started to head up to the stage without answering Kurt's question.

"Hey everybody. I hope you're all having a good evening. I'm gonna do things a little differently tonight, I hope that's okay with all of you. I'm going to be playing one of my original compositions for you tonight. I really hope you like it." Blaine grinned at the crowd.

Sam let out a catcall that made Blaine laugh slightly before he seemed to get into the zone completely.

" _Say, wasn't that a funny day?_

_Gee you had a funny way, a way about you,_

_A kind of glow of something new."_

" _Sure, I'll admit that I'm the same,_

_Another sucker for a game kids like to play,_

_And the rules they like to use."_

" _Don't you want the way I feel?_

_Don't you want the way I feel?_

_Don't you want the way I feel for you?"_

Kurt had to be honest, Blaine had a beautiful voice. He was so talented being able to play the guitar and sing. And the fact that it was his own song. Kurt's breath was taken away. How was Kurt supposed to protect his heart from this?

Blaine sung with his eyes closed and his heart open. He wouldn't admit it but this was all for Kurt. He felt more with this boy than he had anyone before which was crazy and mind-blowing. He hadn't known Kurt for that long and he had a girlfriend. He had to keep reminding himself of that fact. But lately all he could think about was Kurt, he was in almost every one of Blaine's thoughts. Blaine found himself thinking of Amy less and less.

Blaine just didn't know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs:
> 
> Valerie - Amy Winehouse (in the style of Glee)
> 
> Just a Kiss - Lady Antebellum
> 
> Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes (in the style of Glee)
> 
> Don't You - Darren Criss


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is a bit late, my friends had a last minute gathering to watch Eurovision and I didn't get home till late. Still here it is :) Hope you enjoy it! thank you for all the reviews and your following of this story :D

"Sam, can I talk to you? Please?" Blaine asked pleadingly.

He had turned up on Mercedes doorstep at six o'clock in the morning after not being able to sleep. He had needed to talk to someone and Sam was the only person that would understand and not judge him. Well, at least he hoped he wouldn't judge him.

Mercedes had been pissed by Blaine's incessant ringing of the doorbell and had pushed Sam out of the bed to go and sort out Blaine before she seriously harmed him. No one disturb her beauty sleep.

Sam had sprawled out on the sofa, half asleep as Blaine paced the living room floor. He was too anxious to speak and he was working his way up to it. Sam was sure he knew what Blaine was going to say anyway but he decided to let his friend get there in his own time.

"I think I'm falling for Kurt." Blaine finally admitted.

Sam didn't look at all surprised by what Blaine had said, which in a way had annoyed Blaine.

"I know." Sam said. "I knew this was going to happen as soon as you mentioned him and wanted to find out who he was. It probably started from the moment that you heard him singing Blackbird."

Blaine looked at his friend incredulously. "And you couldn't have said anything. I've been struggling with this and this whole time you knew and didn't think to warn me! I don't know what to do Sam!" Blaine almost howled out in frustration.

Sam waited for Blaine to settle down a bit more before he said anything more. He watched as his friend threw himself into the armchair and he couldn't help but feel for him.

"Blaine, ages ago you insisted that you were straight, even though you had that crush on me briefly. Then you started dating Amy, a girl that you are still dating now." Sam said it calmly, trying to keep his friend as calm as possible so that they could have a reasonable discussion about this.

"I know. I know, Sam, I do. And that's why I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt anybody. I'm not that guy."

"I know you're not that guy Blaine." Sam said, quietly.

Blaine put his head into his hands. He felt like he wanted to cry. Why was this happening to him? He thought he was a pretty simple guy and he had never done anything to purposely hurt someone before. What had he done in his life for this to happen?

"Sometimes you just fall. Without meaning to. Did you know that Mercedes was with someone else while I was chasing after her? It tore her up to hurt him but in the end she knew that she belonged more with me."

"How does that help me?" Blaine asked looking up at his friend, his eyes rimmed red.

"Umm, I'm not sure." Sam said, forgetting where he had been going with that. "I guess that I'm trying to say is that you're not a bad person Blaine."

"Why do I feel like one?"

"Maybe because you know you have the power to hurt Kurt and Amy but Blaine, you haven't done anything. You haven't done any cheating. You haven't hurt anyone yet."

"And what if I can't resist? What then? I don't want to hurt either of them. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself."

"Maybe you should distance yourself from Kurt? It might be for the best."

Blaine looked shocked at the idea. He didn't know if he would be able to do that. Already Kurt had become one of Blaine's best friends and they talked every day, not always in person but definitely over the phone or by text. Hell, he probably talked more to Kurt than he did to his girlfriend and man if that didn't make him feel guilty.

Maybe it would be for the best.

"I know it will be tough. Don't think I don't know how much you two hang out and talk. I will try and keep you occupied and I will get the other guys to help, without explaining the situation to them. And then once you have finished this song with Kurt, which you need to get a move on and ask him to do, by the way, then start getting further away from him. It will be better for both of you."

Blaine hated the idea completely but what else could he do? He agreed to Sam's plan.

XXXX

"So why aren't you hanging out with the hobbit tonight?" Santana asked as Kurt painted her fingernails for her.

"He just said he had to cancel. It's fine though because he said he would try and call me tonight. It's not like we're joined at the hip." Kurt dipped the nail varnish brush back into the pot with the black paint before positioning Santana's other hand ready so he could do the first coat on it.

"You like him don't you?" Santana asked.

Kurt blushed a brilliant red. "Why would you think that?"

"The blush says a lot." Santana said simply.

Kurt was a little more hesitant about his feelings for Blaine after what had happened to Sam but he liked Blaine so much more than he ever had with Sam. Blaine was Kurt's best friend, apart from Santana and who even knew about Rachel now because Kurt certainly didn't. But he couldn't deny it. And believe him he had tried. He'd done the whole talking into the mirror thing and everything. In the end it had made him actually admit it but only to himself. He managed to keep quiet about it till now. Santana seemed to have the ability to get people to reveal their deepest darkest secrets and Kurt was not immune to her probing for answers. It didn't help that his own body gave him away even without words.

"Please don't say anything." Kurt said quietly.

Santana scoffed. "Please, I have better things to do with my time."

Kurt smiled at her gratefully.

"But you know Kurt. If you were to make a move on him then I don't think he would really mind. I'm pretty sure he feels something more than friendship for you. I'd bet my last dollar on it."

Kurt couldn't help but blush again. He didn't know whether to believe Santana. It seemed too good to be true. Blaine had practically fell into Kurt's life exactly when he needed someone like him and it made it all seem like it couldn't be real.

He had to admit that he'd been getting some vibes from Blaine. There were gazes and linger looks that made Kurt feel like he was floating. The occasional and gentle touches that felt like a spark to Kurt's body. He was sure that he glowed whenever he was in Blaine's presence. He always felt warm whenever they were together. Kurt didn't want to say anything in case Blaine didn't feel the same. He didn't want to ruin the friendship because he would rather have Blaine as a friend than losing him from his life if he made a move on him. Any awkwardness between the two would be like practically losing him, what with how close they had gotten over the weeks.

"How are things with you and Dani?" Kurt asked, changing the subject from him.

"Good, if you know what I mean." Santana said, wiggling her eyebrows.

Kurt blushed again when he realised that she meant sex. That of course had Santana cackling like a witch.

"I should have known. You're a virgin!"

"Shut up Santana! I'm waiting for the right person and time. Not that it's any of your business." Kurt snapped, hating that she always seemed to be able to get a rise out of him.

"It's so blatantly obvious that Blaine is gonna be the one popping that cherry with some hot boy on boy action." Santana smirked.

Kurt glared at her but didn't say anything.

At the moment the thought of sex wasn't even one that was crossing his mind. He was a complete and honest baby penguin and sex didn't really appeal to him right now. Maybe one day it would but for now he was happy being blissfully ignorant to the whole thing. To him the touch of a fingertips was as sexy as it gets, that was why he loved Broadway so much. He wanted love in his life, not lust. He knew that sometimes the two went together but not for him. Not right at this moment.

Santana seemed to realise that she had hit a sore spot for Kurt and she backed off, turning the conversation to lighter things. Though she didn't want to admit it to anyone, she didn't have all that many friends here in New York. Girls didn't tend to be friends with her because she tended to draw the attention of their boyfriends even though she wasn't really interested and not many guys were interested in being friends with her, they only wanted to sleep with her. It seemed the only friends she could really make were with gay guys and even then sometimes people couldn't handle her personality. But she couldn't change. She had been this was since practically forever. Kurt was the first person that seemed to be able to cope with her rude humour and her weird and most of the time, mean way of dealing with things. She'd never tell him but he was her only proper friend that she had made since she came to New York. She didn't really want to lose him. That was why she tried to reign herself in a bit. She didn't want to scare him off because if she did then she would probably be a complete and utter loner.

XXXX

Blaine hated that he had cancelled on Kurt. He hadn't even done it through a phone call. He had text Kurt saying that something had come up and that they wouldn't be able to hang out tonight. He had planned to spend the night alone in his room just thinking but Sam, trying to be helpful, had rang Amy and she had taken it upon herself to come round and hang out with Blaine. It wasn't something that he really wanted to deal with right now. With his feelings so up in the air about everything having Amy around wasn't exactly the most helpful thing.

"Baby, do you want to watch a film?" Amy asked, browsing his shelf that held all of his DVD's.

"Sure, whatever." Blaine said from where he was laid on the bed.

"Or maybe, we could watch some porn together." Amy suggested, coming over to the bed and rubbing a hand over Blaine's leg.

"Huh?" Blaine questioned.

"You've been neglecting my needs lately baby. If I didn't know better I would think you had been getting it from somewhere else." It was said teasingly but it made Blaine's skin crawl slightly.

Blaine didn't say anything, silently hating himself.

"I've been missing you and your assets Blaine. And I think that you should make it up to me." There was a lustful look in her eyes.

Blaine felt his cock twitch in interest. It wasn't like he could deny that Amy turned him on, no matter what his feelings for Kurt were.

"How would you like me to make it up to you?" Blaine asked slowly.

Amy grinned at him. "I want you to take me while I'm on my hands and knees."

Well that definitely had Blaine going hard.

Amy started stripping her clothes off teasingly slow until she was stood in front of Blaine completely naked. Her blonde hair was framing her face and falling over her shoulders. Blaine reached up his arms and put his hands either side of her waist, feeling her warm and soft skin beneath his palms.

"I want you to be rough with me Blaine. I want to feel you completely. Pull my hair, pound into me and call me a slut. Fuck me." She ordered him and damn how could the man resist.

She turned around and knelt down, getting onto her hands and knees presenting her perfectly supple arse to him. She tossed Blaine a look over his shoulder and he quickly tugged down his trousers and boxers letting his fully hard erection spring free. He didn't bother fully taking off his trousers, letting them down mid-thigh, just enough so they wouldn't get in the way. He grabbed and condom and rolled it on to his achingly hard dick.

Moving towards Amy he felt around, his fingers grazing across her pussy and clit making her shiver with anticipation. Blaine worked one finger into her pussy making sure that she was good and wet if she wanted it rough from her, not wanting to hurt her at all. He continued to play with her clit as he fingered her feeling her juices over his fingers.

After a while he pulled his finger out, satisfied that she was wet enough.

"Let me taste?" Amy asked.

Blaine stretched his finger towards her mouth, where she had her head turned back to him. His cock rubbed across her pert butt and the friction felt amazing to him. Amy slowly sucked her juices off of Blaine's finger before she turned back so she was facing away from him.

"Now fuck me." She ordered. "Really hard."

Blaine grabbed a hold of her hips and slammed into her, making her cry out. He started thrusting into her over and over, his hips snapping with his movements. Reaching forward Blaine grabbed Amy's jiggling breasts and kneaded them with his hands, playing and flicking her nipples, making her cry out with pleasure. He felt her clench around him as an orgasm rippled through her and he continued to pound into her.

"Fuck, Blaine. Pull my hair please."

Blaine removed his hands from her breasts and used one hand to gather her hair up and another went back to her hips. He started using her hair as a way to pull her further back onto his cock and it had her crying out with pleasure and a little pain but she couldn't deny that she loved it. Blaine's nails dug into her hips as he could feel himself getting closer and closer. All it took was for Amy to scream through another orgasm and Blaine cried out, emptying his load into the condom, his hips stuttering in his movements of pumping into her.

Blaine let go of her hair and slid out of her, his thighs were aching from standing behind her. He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled off the condom ready to dispose of it.

Amy crawled towards Blaine, looking utterly debauched. She took his softening penis and started lightly licking and sucking on it, getting any come off of it and swallowing it down.

"Shit, Blaine. I don't think we've ever been so rough. I fucking loved it though." Amy admitted, letting Blaine pull his boxers and trousers up and over his sensitive cock.

Blaine smiled tiredly at her, orgasms always tended to make him a little tired for some reason.

"I'm gonna go and shower baby and then I'm going to head out to a club with the girls. I'd invite you too but I don't any of them drunkenly trying to fuck you." She laughed out loud before sauntering off to the shower.

Blaine laid back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He felt bad about what had just happened and he was afraid that guilt was going to eat him up and swallow him whole. He was really starting to hate himself.

XXXX

Kurt heard his phone vibrating as he was getting ready for bed and smiled when his phone showed that it was Blaine ringing him.

"Hey you." Kurt greeted cheerily.

"Hey." Blaine said, his voice quiet. "How's you?"

"I'm good. I hung out with Santana today. How was your day? How did whatever you were doing go?"

"I would have preferred spending the day with you." Blaine admitted.

"Aww, I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

They continued to chat but Kurt could tell that Blaine wasn't his usual self and that worried him. The Blaine he knew never sounded that monotonous. Kurt was determined to cheer up his best friend.

"How about we do brunch tomorrow? I know you like to lay in on a Sunday otherwise I'd have said breakfast." Kurt chuckled lightly.

Blaine couldn't help but chuckle too. "You know me too well."

"Well duh." Kurt teased. "So you wanna come?"

Blaine paused before he gave Kurt an answer. He wanted to spend time with Kurt and today had felt awful trying not to think about him. The boy was always on his mind and he knew that he couldn't ignore him or distance himself as Sam had said.

"Brunch sounds awesome. I'll see you at around half ten then?"

"Yay! And yes. I'll see you tomorrow, sleep well Blaine."

"You too Kurt." Blaine said quietly and then they hung up.

Blaine curled up on his bed as small as he could get but sleep did not reach him for another few hours. His thoughts didn't allow for it.

XXXX

The next morning Kurt and Blaine went to their favourite place to get brunch. Both of them had the best time together, they always did. They chattered about random stuff through brunch and Blaine felt himself feeling lighter.

Who was he kidding? He couldn't stay away from Kurt. He just had to keep himself restrained and then hopefully he would get over it or Kurt would meet someone who he really liked. Blaine's heart jolted at the thought of Kurt with someone else and he scolded himself. As long as Kurt was happy nothing else mattered.

On the walk back home from the café they kept playing about with one other. Somehow Blaine's hand had found Kurt's and without realising it they were holding hands and it felt completely natural. Kurt couldn't help but feel excited to be holding Blaine's hand with the other boy not seeming to mind.

When they got back to the halls Blaine dropped Kurt's hand from his as if he hadn't realised that he had been holding it. "Umm, I'm sorry about that." Blaine laughed awkwardly. "I better go. I'll see you later." Blaine quickly disappeared behind his door before Kurt could say anything which left Kurt standing out in the hall with no idea of what had just happened.

Kurt let himself think briefly that maybe what that really meant was that Blaine was feeling something for Kurt and like Kurt he didn't want to ruin their friendship with unrequited feelings and that thought made Kurt feel amazing.

Maybe he could get the guy for once.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday everybody!! I hope you've all been having a good week. Mine was exhausting and on Tuesday I have my last exam of my second year at uni :S
> 
> Thank you to all the people that have taken the time to read this, I honestly didn't think when I was writing it that it would be as popular as it is!

If Kurt had to be honest he was getting seriously confused by all of Blaine's actions recently. One minute he wanted to be close and the next he was almost pushing Kurt away. It was starting to get a little upsetting. Kurt wasn't quite sure when he was standing with Blaine.

He wondered if he admitted to Blaine how he felt then Blaine wouldn't be so backwards and forwards all the time. Kurt kept wanting to put himself on the line. He thought he had seen something in Blaine that made what Santana had said seem very true. Every time that Kurt hung out at the bar with Blaine and his friends and Santana, she would report on all the things that Blaine did that made it look like maybe Blaine did like Kurt.

He was getting his hopes up, he knew that.

Sam had been watching Kurt and Blaine interact with each other and he had seen how weird Blaine was acting, something which was very unlike him. He worried for his best friend and his other friend. He knew that Kurt wasn't as tough as he thought he was and that the boy was still trying to get the hang of this busy city and the people in it. Sure it was much better than in the first few weeks that he had been here but he was still silently struggling when he thought that no one was looking.

He was honestly worried about this whole thing with Blaine. It was clear, at least for Sam to see, that Kurt was head over heels for Blaine. The boy lit up like a Christmas tree around Blaine and the constant blush was another huge giveaway. Sam wondered how other people didn't see how crazy about Blaine Kurt was. He knew that Santana probably knew if the looks she was giving the pair was anything to go by and that was probably because Kurt had confided in her.

Everyone else, though, they all seemed oblivious to it.

"Hey Kurt, how are you at the faster songs? So far in karaoke you've sung slower songs." Mercedes questioned.

"I can sing faster songs." Kurt laughed lightly. "I just think the slower songs have suited my mood recently." He admitted.

"How would you like to sing a faster song with me as a duet tonight? Its open mic tonight so anyone can do whatever they want and I thought of a song which I think will compliment both of our voice." Mercedes smiled at Kurt urging him on.

"Sure. I'd love to sing with you." Kurt said, a big smile on his face. He was glad that he was fitting in with Blaine's other friends.

Mercedes pulled him up and out of his seat and they went up towards the stage. The group that were sat on the sofa's watched as Mercedes whispered in Kurt's ear and they saw him grin and nod at Mercedes.

The music started and instantly the group acknowledged what the song was.

" _Hey, uh,_

_Come on,_

_Kurt Hummel!"_

Mercedes sang and Kurt did a little dance in front of her as she introduced him.

" _Come on, girl,_

_I've been waiting for somebody to pick up my stroll,_

_Uh!"_

Kurt dropped down and touched the floor before snapping back up as he sang the last bit and sent a wink out into the crowd making Santana whistle at him.

Blaine felt something taking interest in the sound that Kurt had just made and he willed himself to calm down and not think with his dick. This was Kurt his best friend whom he was trying to avoid doing anything with.

Together they sang though the lyrics of the song, dancing together across the stage and clearly having a good time. When they finished they were both heaving for breath but had the biggest smiles on their faces.

Mercedes turned and hugged Kurt before they both got off of the stage and went back to the group who all congratulated them on an awesome duet.

"Looking fine Hummel! Who knew you could move your hips so well." Santana smirked at Kurt, wiggling her eyebrows.

Kurt blushed and brushed aside her comment. "I had so much fun with that."

"It looked like it. You guys were awesome." Sam grinned and gave Mercedes a kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah, we were." Mercedes said, laughing, not afraid to admit that she thought they were great.

Kurt looked over to Blaine and saw that he looked very uncomfortable and was avoiding Kurt's gaze. It hurt that Blaine was doing that. Everyone else had seemed to really enjoy the performance. Did that mean that he didn't? Had Kurt made him uncomfortable during the song?

He kept feeling paranoid. The way that Blaine kept behaving was throwing Kurt off and making him doubtful. It was completely confusing and it was making Kurt upset and frustrated and he didn't know how much longer he could put up with it.

The night started to draw to a close and Blaine hadn't really said much to Kurt. Everyone in the group could feel how awkward it was between the two boys and they had no idea what was going on. Santana watched as Kurt got more and more upset. She had wanted to talk to Blaine and ask him what the hell was going on. She didn't like that Kurt was upset because he was her friend and she couldn't cheer him up until Blaine got his act together with whatever was going on with him.

Everyone started going their separate ways until it was only Blaine and Kurt heading towards the halls. They walked in silence with a gap between them and to Kurt it felt much wider than it actually was. He could feel himself getting emotional and the last thing that he wanted to do was to act like a complete and utter weirdo in front of Blaine. He didn't want to embarrass himself that much even though he knew that Blaine probably wouldn't belittle him. At least he hoped not.

They were almost back to the halls and Blaine still hadn't said a word to Kurt. They were walking side by side so it was clear that they were walking in each other's company but nothing was said between them. The only sound was the sound of the city which as had been said, never slept. Kurt couldn't take the silence anymore so he turned to Blaine, standing a little bit in front of him so it would stop him from walking any further.

"Blaine, what's going on?" Kurt rushed out in one breath and then carried on calmer. "You've not said anything to me all night and you look at me like I'm some kind of problem. I don't know what's going on."

"There's nothing going on Kurt." Blaine said tiredly, hoping that Kurt wouldn't press him anymore.

"I don't believe that. Is it because of me, because of the way that I feel?" Kurt wanted Blaine to clarify it. He couldn't help but think that Blaine knew how he felt about him even though he had never told him anything.

"It doesn't matter Kurt, just leave it alone." Blaine tried to move around Kurt but was blocked off again.

"I can't leave it alone. I am falling for you." Kurt admitted with a shout, tears coming to his eyes. "If that is a problem for you then please tell me now because I can go away. If that makes you uncomfortable then I promise I will leave you alone for good. I can't carry on like this, never knowing what you're thinking."

Blaine's eyes widened at Kurt's admission and he felt his heart leap. This was the best news, Kurt felt the same way about him as he did for Kurt. The reality which sent Blaine's hope crashing to the ground was very different though. He thought for a moment that he might be selfish and not tell Kurt about Amy and be with him but he knew that he couldn't lie to Kurt like that. He had to tell Kurt about Amy, even if it meant risking everything with him.

"I have a girlfriend." Blaine whispered.

He watched as Kurt's face crumpled and tears started leaking out of his eyes as he tried desperately to blink them away.

"You never said anything." Kurt stated, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"I didn't know how to." Blaine admitted.

Kurt started to back away from Blaine, seeing a completely different person than he had before. He had lied to Kurt from the very start. Not so much lied but he had never said anything about his relationship status. If they were such good friends shouldn't this have been something that Kurt knew about?

Once again Kurt had fallen for the straight guy and once again Kurt felt like his heart was going to be in tatters. It already was. He had to get away from Blaine before he did anything more to humiliate himself.

He didn't see the hurt on Blaine's face as he turned away and started to run back to his room. He didn't see the tears in Blaine's eyes that had started to form as he watched someone that he had come to love potentially walk out of his life forever. Kurt also didn't see that Blaine had started to run after him and it wasn't until Blaine had grabbed a hold of Kurt's shoulder, spinning him around, their lips meeting, that Kurt realised that nothing was quite as simple as he thought it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song:
> 
> 4 Minutes - Madonna & Justin Timberlake (in the style of Glee)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit late, my apologies. I have officially finished my second year of uni for the summer so I'm going to be dedicating a lot of my time to my fanfiction and I'm actually excited about that :D Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Kurt laid on his bed for hours after that kiss not really knowing how to feel about it. Honestly he was conflicted. At the same time it was all he had ever wanted and then on the other hand it was his worst nightmare.

Blaine had explained to him that he was really bisexual but the only other person that knew was Sam because Blaine had once had a crush on Sam just like Kurt had. He hadn't felt anything for any other guy so it wasn't really noticeable that he was bisexual so everyone just assumed that because he dated girls he was straight. He had never felt the need to correct anyone because it had never came into consideration. No guy ever tended to hit on Blaine and other than Sam he had never found another boy attractive. At least until Kurt came along.

Of course all of this didn't change the fact that Blaine had a girlfriend and that was where the real problem lay. Kurt had never really considered the issue very deeply. He had always just assumed that the person he would like would be available to like him back without any restrictions such as a girlfriend. He hadn't planned for this situation and he found himself wondering if he could date someone that was already dating somebody else. He would be having an affair. Was he really that person? He knew that in himself he would hate to be cheated on, it was unforgivable to him. But what about the reverse? He didn't know if he could do that to someone else.

But all that he felt for Blaine made the whole thing so much harder. The boy had worked his way into Kurt's heart and he didn't know how he was going to move on from this. He knew that he had to but had no clue how to start and he felt that he had no one to confide in.

This was really just Kurt's luck. Nothing ever seemed to go his way and it was starting to be very irritating. He was fed up of everyone else always seeming to get whatever they wanted, whether they deserved it or not while Kurt worked his butt of for things and never got anywhere. It happened all the time with Rachel and now it was happening in his love life.

Kurt really needed to think this all through. He needed to take some time away from the situation and work out what would be best for everyone, whether his heart complained or not. He decided right there and then that he wouldn't be able to see Blaine while he was still deciding. His heart fluttered whenever he saw him and he was sure that there must be actual butterflies in his stomach whenever Blaine was around.

No, if he was going to make a serious decision then he couldn't have Blaine distracting him and making him doubt his thoughts. As soon as he had made a decision then he would tell Blaine and it would be over with. They would either stay friends, go their separate ways or Kurt would take a chance against his better judgement.

XXXX

Blaine went about his days in a blur. He was almost shell-shocked from the events of the night that he had kissed Kurt. He hadn't known what had made him kiss Kurt, all he knew was he couldn't let Kurt walk away from him. Maybe that was selfish but Blaine had never claimed to be selfless. He needed Kurt in his life and it was about so much more than the song that he had written. He couldn't imagine a world where Kurt wasn't there. It was scary and breath-taking at the same time.

Blaine wasn't stupid and he knew that Kurt was avoiding him. Sure it hurt but he knew that he had given Kurt a lot to think about and he, by no means, wanted to rush Kurt through any decisions that he had to make. Blaine just hoped that eventually Kurt would come to him and that their last conversation wouldn't be the final one that they ever had.

Blaine filled his time with putting together slightly darker songs than he was ever used to. He supposed it represented his mood at that moment. Uncertain.

There was no one that he could confide in. The only person there was, was Sam and he had already warmed him about doing anything with Kurt. He just had to wait for Kurt to get back to him and then he could decide what would happen next based on Kurt's decision. He couldn't help but hope that Kurt would want to be with him.

Blaine needed to do something about Amy as well. He didn't know how to end things with her and he wanted to. It was clear that he felt more for Kurt than he ever had for her and while that might be mean to say it was definitely the truth. He didn't know why she seemed to be so into him. He was a terrible boyfriend and yet she always seemed to come back to him. He didn't really want to upset her, she had been good to him. He didn't know why he loved Kurt more, he just seemed to.

XXXX

Kurt couldn't do it. He couldn't hurt Blaine's girlfriend like that and he didn't know if right now he could have a friendship with Blaine without it hurting too much. He'd been listening to a song recently and he knew that Blaine and he connected better through music so Kurt decided that rather than talking it through with Blaine and hurting the both of them further he would sing this song to Blaine on the next karaoke night which was coming up a the Hangout. He knew that Blaine always went to those nights without fail so he felt confident that he would be there to hear the song.

He practiced it over and over again wanting to make sure that it was perfect. The first few times he had sung through it he had absolutely bawled through the song. It seemed like such a goodbye and the thought of saying goodbye to Blaine tore at his heart even though he knew that it was for the best.

Memories of the kiss still haunted him while he slept while he tried to block it completely from his thoughts while he was awake. His dreams always remembered the kiss vividly as if it were in high definition. He remembered the softness of Blaine's lips and the harsh way that they pushed against Kurt's in a way that took his breath away. He remembered the way that Blaine hands had come and cupped his face, pulling him further into the kiss. He could also recall the look in Blaine's eyes as he slowly moved away from the kiss. The look in his eyes that told Kurt how much he was feeling. He always tried to forget that most of all when he was awake because it was that look that kept drawing Kurt back in because it gave him the knowledge that Blaine actually had feelings for him.

Kurt walked into the Hangout and saw Sam working at the bar. He tried to wave Kurt over but Kurt wasn't planning on stopping. He avoided looking over to the usual place where Blaine and the others usually sat. He didn't need the clarification that Blaine was there because he already knew it. All his eyes were really focused on was the stage and the mic that was stood there. He quickly made his way to the stage and announced himself.

"Hi, you might know by now that my name is Kurt Hummel. Tonight I'll be singing Girl At Home by Taylor Swift. I hope you enjoy it."

He closed his eyes, knowing that if he zeroed in on Blaine's face that he would probably mess the song up entirely and he really wanted to be brave and get through this.

" _Don't look at me,_

_You've got a girl at home,_

_And everybody knows that,_

_Everybody knows that,_

_Uh, uh._

_Don't look at me,_

_You've got a girl at home,_

_And everybody knows that."_

Blaine closed his eyes as Kurt's words registered and he knew what Kurt's decision had been. And shit did that hurt.

" _I don't even know her,_

_But I feel a responsibility,_

_To do what's upstanding and right._

_Its kinds like a code, yeah,_

_And you've been getting closer and closer,_

_And crossing so many lines._

_And it would be a fine proposition,_

_If I was a stupid guy,_

_But honey I am no one's exception,_

_This I have previously learned."_

That was exactly how Kurt was feeling. He knew that if he were in the shoes of Blaine's girlfriend that he would be devastated. He would never like to be cheated on so really he shouldn't do that to someone else.

" _I just wanna make sure,_

_You understand perfectly,_

_You're the kind of man who makes me sad,_

_While she waits up,_

_You chase down the newest thing,_

_And take for granted what you have._

_And it would be a fine proposition,_

_If I was a stupid guy,_

_And yeah I might go with it,_

_If I hadn't once been just like her."_

Kurt hadn't never really been in that position but he knew exactly what unrequited love felt like. Loving someone who would never love you back was one of the worst feelings in the world.

" _Call a cab,_

_Lose my number,_

_You're about to lose your girl._

_Call a cab,_

_Lose my number,_

_Let's consider this lesson learned._

_Don't look at me,_

_You've got a girl at home,_

_And everybody know that,_

_Everybody knows that._

_Uh, uh._

_Don't look at me,_

_You've got a girl at home,_

_And everybody knows that,_

_Everybody knows that._

_Wanna see you pick up your phone,_

_And tell her you're coming home,_

_Don't look at me,_

_You've got a girl at home,_

_And everybody knows that,_

_Everybody knows that._

_Uh, uh._

_Don't look at me,_

_You've got a girl at home,_

_And everybody knows that,_

_Everybody knows that."_

Kurt finished the song with his eyes clenched shut and he stepped away from the mic to take a deep breath before he shakily got off the stage, ignoring the applause that he was getting. He headed straight through the crowd and out of the door of the bar into the cold and wet street. It was only then that he let himself think and feel.

Tears stared falling from his eyes, blurring his vision and he stopped walking and leaned against the wall, breathe heaving. That was the hardest thing he had ever had to do and he was already regretting it. He wanted nothing more than to go back in there and tell Blaine that he wanted to be with him no matter what.

"Kurt?"

Or maybe he didn't even need to go back inside.

"Kurt. I know that was you saying goodbye but call me selfish, I can't let you do that. I refuse to let you walk away from this without trying. Can't we at least try? Please Kurt."

Blaine didn't care if he was seen as whining but he couldn't let Kurt walk away from him. Being with Kurt felt so right, like that was the way that it was supposed to be. Call it fate or whatever, that was what it felt like. Who was Blaine to argue with fate?

"Blaine I can't." Kurt sobbed, his heart felt like it was cracking into a million tiny pieces.

Blaine's tears that had been threatening him for some time started to fall at the amount of raw pain that was in Kurt's voice. It hurt to hear him like that.

Blaine grabbed Kurt's shoulder and pulled him into a desperate embrace. Kurt's arms, that he had been trying to use to hold himself together, were trapped between their chests and his fingers found their way to the fabric of Blaine's jacket and they couldn't help but tighten into a grab.

"Kurt I can't be without you. I've lived life without you before and it was nothing. I need you. I need you here with me. I'm begging you Kurt. I know I'm not exactly suitable but please." Blaine begged.

Kurt didn't say anything but he buried his head into Blaine's chest and sobbed into it, his body shaking and heaving in Blaine's arms. Blaine just held him, his own tears dripping down his cheeks silently. It was like he was holding his breath, waiting to see what Kurt was going to do.

Then he spoke softly. "Kurt I'm going to be honest with you. I have never felt the way I feel for you with anybody else. I can't let this slip through my fingers. My heart has never felt so full or alive as it does when I'm with you or when I'm thinking about you. No one even compares."

"But your girlfriend?" Kurt's breath hitched.

"She doesn't even come to close to what I feel for you." Blaine admitted.

"Then why are you with her?" Kurt asked confused, moving so that he could look at Blaine, moving out of the embrace he was in.

"I thought I liked her before I met you Kurt. Then she got introduced to my family and our fathers are business partners and suddenly Amy and I were a perfect business match. That's why I have to be with her, my family would kill me if I ended things and they don't even know about my sexuality. I have no clue what they would do if they found out. But I can't not be with you." Blaine admitted, hoping that Kurt didn't see him as too selfish.

Kurt could understand being scared to tell his parents but he couldn't really believe that Blaine's parents wouldn't let him break up with his girlfriend because of business. Surely no parent would be like that and he said as much, hesitantly, to Blaine.

"My parents aren't like yours Kurt. They almost blew a fuse when I said I wanted to work with music rather than go into the family business. My brother had to give up on his dreams for me to be able to have mine, something I hate myself for already." Blaine looked bitter about it and there was no way that Kurt could doubt him.

"Oh, Blaine. I'm sorry." Kurt said.

"I'm used to this sort of stuff and that's why I know that they will take it badly. But Kurt I need you. Fuck! I know I'm being selfish and that this isn't fair on you at all but I don't wanna lose you."

Kurt could feel his resolve weakening. The amount he felt for this boy was unbelievable and Kurt didn't know when he would feel something like this ever again. He couldn't let this slip away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song:
> 
> Girl At Home - Taylor Swift


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the interest that you have been taking in this story. It means so much to me :D

It had been a week since that night when Kurt's resolve to Blaine alone had been completely broken. Remembering back to it, Kurt knew that he had been the one to kiss Blaine with force enough to make Blaine stagger on his feet. They had gone back to Kurt rooms to talk about things further and had spent the night laid together in each other's arms, having tired themselves out from all the crying and high emotions that there had been the day before.

It had been a week and Kurt was still a little uncertain about things. He can't get the fact that Blaine has a girlfriend off of his mind and it makes things a little awkward at times. Most of the time however he wants to squeal at the fact that he is with Blaine. He is sure that he loves Blaine, not that he would ever tell Blaine that. At least not yet. It's still too new and he doesn't know the exact amount that Blaine feels for him and he doesn't want to put his heart on the line any more than he already had because it was honestly a terrifying feeling, even thinking about doing it. Kurt had never imagined that he being in love with someone could make things so much more complicated and yet there it was.

They were being very tentative, the pair of them. They knew how fragile this relationship was at the moment. Both of them trusted each other explicitly but there were so many other aspects that could utterly destroy what they had built so far and Kurt and Blaine just didn't want to risk that.

They hadn't told anybody. No one at all. And they didn't do anything that looked like they might be a couple in public just in case. Blaine was quite popular and so a lot of people knew him especially around the bar and around the college campus. They hardly talked at college and settled for giving each other longing looks across to each other before Blaine was whisked off by the friends in his class.

Yeah, Kurt was still having trouble in the friend department at college. He spent all of his time at college alone, not really talking to anyone. He didn't really know where to start. They all seemed very different to him and had found their friendship groups early on while Kurt had been chasing after Sam and now this with Blaine? He was sure he was destined to be a loner. He had Santana and she was proving to be an amazing friend to him and he was so grateful.

His friendship with Rachel was fizzling out. He had no idea where it was going if he was being honest. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her. She had become somewhat popular, even more so than she had been before. She had her hand in a little bit of everything just like she had in high school, except this time it was making her well liked. She had a posse of people that tended to follow her around. Kurt had attempted to try and spend some time with her but it was like they were two different people now. She had done a ton of growing up and it seemed like Kurt was still the naïve boy that he had been back in Ohio. He sometimes wondered if he ever would lose that naivety and his wide-eyed wonder at things. In a way he hoped he didn't but the world seemed a disappointing place for those that couldn't keep up with it.

Kurt didn't even dare utter a word of this to his father because he knew exactly what his dad would say about it. He would remind Kurt that he mattered and then continue to remind Kurt of all the reason why this thing with Blaine wasn't a good idea. Kurt knew that realistically it wasn't a good idea, he just didn't want anyone to tell him that. That way he could pretend that everything was okay and there was nothing wrong with what they were doing.

He and Blaine didn't discuss it any further because it made the both of them uncomfortable. Blaine hated the position that he was putting Kurt in and of course Amy, though she didn't even know that anything was going on. It wasn't like a normal affair though. He and Kurt weren't going at it behind anyone's back. They were spending time together, talking about their future aspirations and kissing each other. They hadn't even discussed any sort of sex and in truth, Blaine wasn't quite sure how it would work between them or whether Kurt would want to explore that with him at all. He certainly wasn't going to force the issue with him. He kind of liked the steadiness in which they were taking their relationship. With Amy they had started off the relationship because of sex. He was pretty sure that Amy wouldn't have minded it being a one-night stand. It was his idea to try a relationship. He didn't want to just rely on that with Kurt. Not that Kurt wasn't beautiful and Blaine's body definitely reacted to how the boy looked.

XXXX

Blaine fidgeted in his chair at the movie night at Mercedes house. Mercedes had picked Disney's Frozen for the first film of the night and while Blaine loved the movie he had others things on his mind. Kurt had asked Blaine if he had wanted to hang out tonight and Blaine had been reluctant to say no to him. Kurt had obviously understood but Blaine had really wanted to spend more time with him. No time with Kurt seemed to be long enough.

So Blaine had concocted the plan to ask the guys if Kurt would be able to join them in their movie nights. They had all become quite good friends and they all loved Kurt's reserved wit and good humour.

He worried because Sam knew about the crush that Blaine had on Kurt and might be a bit suspicious of Blaine asking for Kurt to be invited. He hoped that Sam wouldn't say anything or wouldn't think anything of it.

"Hey, guys?" Blaine said, hesitantly, making everyone look towards him and away from the television. "I was wondering if you guys minded if I invited Kurt to these movie night of ours. He hasn't really made many friends of his own at college and I think he's pretty lonely. He gets on well with all of us so I thought you guys wouldn't mind him joining us."

"Aww I wouldn't mind Kurt joining us. That guy has an awesome sense of fashion and he knows how to make a girl feel good about herself. Has he really had a hard time making friends?" Mercedes asked, she had grown quite close to Kurt and found him utterly adorable.

"Yeah, I don't know how he hasn't been making friends. I think he's pretty awesome and I don't see why others don't see him that way." Blaine sighed.

"He does spend a lot of time around use though. And we're second years. That might be why he hasn't found many friends on his course or in his year. We can sometimes scare off the first years." Sam laughed.

"That is true. Oh well, he has us and we will always be there for him." Mercedes smiled. "Invite him along. Hell, you can even invite him to come over tonight. Maybe you can go and get him. He's probably not been over to this neighbourhood before."

"Really?" Blaine asked, trying not to look too happy.

"Yeah, go and get him." Mercedes encouraged.

**To Kurt:**

**Are you still free tonight? You can join us for our movie night :)**

Blaine didn't have to wait long for Kurt's reply.

**From Kurt:**

**Are you sure your friends wouldn't mind? I don't want to ruin the fun.**

**To Kurt:**

**No we all want you here. Please come. For me?**

**From Kurt:**

**Give me the address.**

**To Kurt:**

**I'll do you one better. I'm going to come and pick you up :D**

**From Kurt:**

**:D**

Blaine pocketed his phone and stood up. "I'm going to go and get him right now. See you guys in a bit."

"See you soon!" Mercedes called as Blaine started to leave.

Blaine rode the subway back to the halls and hurried to get to Kurt. Each time Blaine was apart from him it only made Blaine want Kurt more. He wondered if he would ever tire of this guy.

Blaine let out a sigh as Kurt opened the door to his room looking beautiful as ever.

"Can I come in for a minute?" Blaine asked and then lowered his voice. "Because I would really like to kiss you right now."

Kurt smiled at Blaine and held the door open a little more so that he could come inside. As soon as the door was closed behind them Blaine's lips were on Kurt's and they were grabbing at each other, trying to pull each other closer together.

"Fuck, I love your lips." Blaine murmured against Kurt's lips before giving him another bruising kiss.

"We should probably start heading to Mercedes." Kurt said in between kisses, trying to keep himself from moaning.

"Yeah we should." Blaine admitted, pecking Kurt once more on the lips before moving away from him.

They headed towards the subway, keeping a reasonable amount of distance between them. They talked to each other quietly as they walked about how their classes were going that week and what assignments they had coming up.

When they got to the subway and onto a train it was very crowded, a lot of people looked like they were dressed for a night out. Blaine looked around the carriage that they were stood in. the crowdedness of it gave Blaine a reason for him to stand close to Kurt and he put an arm around Kurt's waist in order to keep him steady and keep him close to him. Blaine felt the hand that was holding on to a pole be covered and looked to see Kurt's hand on his, his fingers slightly grasping Blaine hand.

Kurt smiled shyly at Blaine and in return Blaine tightened his hold around Kurt's waist, pulling him even closer to him.

The ride was short and they were both disappointed when it was over. They went back to their no touching policy as they strolled towards Mercedes house which was thankfully not too far away from the subway. When they arrived Blaine rang the doorbell and smiled encouragingly at Kurt, knowing that he was feeling a little nervous.

David opened it and said a quick hello before allowing Blaine and Kurt to come inside. They walked into the living room and everyone gave Kurt a quick hello but nothing much because they were distracted by the movie that they were watching. Blaine motioned for Kurt to sit in the armchair that he had previously occupied this evening. Kurt thanked him quietly as Blaine made himself comfortable on the floor near the chair so that he could rest his back on Kurt's legs.

XXXX

It was about one in the morning when Kurt and Blaine left Mercedes house to head back to their rooms. As there was no one around Kurt and Blaine held hands all the way home. They didn't take the subway but instead walked all the way back. They were grateful for the time alone and the fact that they didn't have to hide anything between them. Blaine absolutely loved the feel of Kurt's hand in his. It wasn't like holding Amy's hand. It was less dainty and you could obviously feel that it belonged to a man. Not that Blaine minded of course. It was just different. There were a lot of things that he found himself having to get used to. There weren't all that many differences between dating a girl or a boy but the differences that there were, were very obvious. Blaine was not complaining at all.

He knew that other people wouldn't quite understand it. People didn't understand that sexuality was fluid and Blaine did worry that people would judge him when he and Kurt finally went public. And he did one day plan to go public with Kurt. He wanted people to know that he was dating someone so amazing. There was so much to sort out before then one of them being seeing how people will react to him being with a guy. He knew his friends would be fine about it but other people and his family? Blaine had no idea about them. Being the people pleaser that he was he didn't want to let his parents down and his father had a lot riding on Blaine's relationship with Amy. Blaine kind of hated that.

Once again Blaine went inside of Kurt's room in order to say a proper goodnight to him. He would have liked to have stayed overnight but with his room being right next door there was very little point and he'd only have to sneak out of the room come morning time. It was easier to just say goodnight and go their separate ways for now.

They kissed slowly behind the closed door of Kurt's room. Blaine's hands cradled Kurt's cheeks as their lips met slowly and without the frenzy of a lot of their kisses. Blaine loved this kind of kissing the most. It was a kiss that you could differentiate from it being just lust. That's how he knew that Kurt really felt something for him. He didn't know if it was love but he sure hoped it was because Blaine Anderson was definitely falling in love with Kurt Hummel.

XXXX

Kurt sighed and rested his head against the closed door that Blaine had just walked out of to go to his own room. He couldn't keep pretending that he hadn't fallen completely for Blaine. He was in love. It was a first love and a true love. God, it was complicated but Kurt wouldn't change the person he had fallen in love with for anything. He had told Blaine that he was falling for him. It hadn't taken long for falling to transition to him having fallen for him.

Of course the whole thing was scary. Kurt had built up love in his head and he probably knew that his expectations weren't quite going to match up to reality. Blaine was coming pretty close though. The boy never failed to make Kurt smile. Heck, even seeing Blaine smile made Kurt smile. Kurt had no escape from this. He was completely and utterly Blaine's. Blaine had the power to build him up or to completely crush him to the ground. Kurt just hoped it was the former and not the latter.

XXXX

The next time Blaine and Kurt were together alone was a few days after the movie night. They had seen each other before then but unfortunately it had been out in public with their friends so they couldn't act on their feeling s for each other which neither of them could deny was starting to get on their nerves.

Blaine and Kurt laid casually on Kurt's bed. Kurt was flicking through a magazine and Blaine had his sheet music in front of him, making small adjustments to his compositions. Their feet tangled together at the end of the bed keeping them connected even though they were doing their own things.

"Hey Kurt?" Blaine questioned, looking up from his sheet music and towards his boyfriend.

Kurt made a little noise of affirmation that he had heard Blaine before finishing reading his sentence and then turning his head so that he could look at Blaine.

"If I said I had written a song specifically made for you to sing, what would you say?" Blaine asked.

"I would think that that was incredibly sweet and of course I would love to hear it." Kurt replied giving Blaine an encouraging smile.

"I've been writing this song since the first time I heard you sing. You had the voice of an angel and you quickly became my muse. Please don't let this scare you off but I have never heard a sound as perfect as your voice. It's beautiful and I could listen to you singing forever." Blaine admitted nervously. "I've finished that song that I started working on all that time ago. I was wondering if you would be willing to sing it. It's written specifically for your voice and I don't think it would be right for anyone else to sing it."

Kurt felt tears spring to his eyes at Blaine's admission and his heart felt like it could burst with joy. It was so amazing and humbling that Blaine would do that for him. Kurt moved closer to Blaine and kissed his face in different places before finally going in for a kiss on the lips which was gratefully received by Blaine who was still nervously waiting for a reply from Kurt.

"Of course I will sing it. Thank you Blaine. My beautiful and talented boyfriend." Kurt murmured.

Blaine was not used to people calling him beautiful. He had been called handsome or hot but never beautiful and coming from Kurt he truly believe that he was beautiful. With every action Kurt seemed to make Blaine feel more loved than he ever had in his lifetime and he didn't know how long he could keep the knowledge of his love for Kurt to himself. He wanted to scream it to the world.

"No, thank you Kurt. You've made me the happiest man on the planet. Thank you so much."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I'm so sorry that there was no update last week. My internet was having some issues and I couldn't get online :( But I do have last weeks chapter and this weeks chapter to give to you today, so hopefully you'll forgive me.
> 
> Thank you as always for the support that you have given for this story!

Sam sometimes wondered whether his friends thought that he was stupid. Sure he sometimes lacked some common sense and he often made some silly mistakes but he wasn't completely stupid. Then why did his friends sometimes treat him as if he was?

He had noticed for a few weeks that Kurt and Blaine had become closer, as if they were in on a joke that no one else even had the chance of getting in on. He had been keeping an eye on Blaine ever since he had told Sam about the crush that he thought he had on Kurt. He didn't want his friend going out and making any mistakes that would hurt both himself and Kurt. Sam was just trying to protect them and of course Amy who was Blaine girlfriend, something it seemed that he needed to be reminded of.

What really tipped Sam on to the fact that Blaine and Kurt were fooling around in private was something that they probably thought that no one had seen that Sam had accidentally observed. He had caught sight of them holding hands underneath the table, giving their hands a light squeeze before they reluctantly separated their hands. Their faces had remained completely natural so nobody else had noticed anything and would probably think Sam crazy if he said anything. He knew what he had seen and honestly he was furious at his best friend. All he had tried to do was to keep the both of them safe from each other and yet here they were, setting themselves up on a path that would lead straight to ruin. Sam knew that he definitely had to have word with Blaine before either of them got really hurt by this affair that they were having.

Sam watched as Kurt walked up to the stage and announced what he was singing and then he looked back over to Blaine, judging to see what Blaine's facial expression could tell him.

" _You've got the words to change a nation,_

_But you're biting your tongue._

_You've spent a life time stuck in silence,_

_Afraid you'll say something wrong._

_If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song."_

Sam watched the small smile that appeared on Blaine's face and knew that Blaine was already in this very deep with Kurt and Sam knew it was going to take a lot of work to convince Blaine to put an end to things and to go back to Amy his actual girlfriend, whom he had been with for over six months now and yet he seemed to be completely ignoring. Sam wondered if Kurt even knew about Amy or whether the boy even cared that he was essentially ruining Blaine's relationship.

Don't get him wrong he really liked Kurt. He was fun to hang out with and he told some funny jokes sometimes but at the end of the day Blaine was his best friend and he had to do what was best for him.

" _You've got a heart as loud as lions,_

_So why let your voice be tamed._

_Maybe we're a little different,_

_There's no need to be ashamed._

_You've got the light to fight the shadows,_

_So stop hiding it away._

_Come on, come on._

_I wanna sing, I wanna shout,_

_I wanna scream till the word drys out,_

_So put it in all of the papers,_

_I'm not afraid,_

_They can read all about it,_

_Read all about it, oh."_

Blaine could not stop staring at Kurt. Whenever Kurt sang it was like Blaine was hypnotised. He just found Kurt's voice so beautiful and angelic. Blaine didn't really believe in God or angels but he wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that Kurt was an angel. He just had that feeling about him. It was why Blaine was so drawn to him. He held an amazing goodness about him. Blaine couldn't understand how anyone could dislike Kurt.

" _Yeah, we're all wonderful, wonderful people,_

_So when did we all get so fearful?_

_Now we're finally finding out voice,_

_So take a chance, come help me sing this._

_Yeah, we're all wonderful, wonderful people,_

_So when did we all get so fearful?_

_And now we're finally finding our voice,_

_Just take a chance, come help me sing this._

_I wanna sing, I wanna shout,_

_I wanna scream till the words dry out,_

_So put it in all of the papers,_

_I'm not afraid,_

_They can read all about it,_

_Read all about it._

_Oooh-oh-oh,_

_Oh-oh-oh,_

_Oh-oooh,_

_Oh-oh-oh,_

_Oh-oh-oh_

_Oh-oooh._

_I wanna sing, I wanna shout,_

_I wanna scream till the words dry out,_

_So put it in all of the papers,_

_I'm not afraid,_

_They can read all about it,_

_Read all about it,_

_Oh."_

The song came to a close and Kurt smiled out at everyone that was watching him. He loved that song and had been practicing it for a while so that he could perform it. The song meant a lot to him because all throughout high school people had tried to silence him and hadn't cared about what he had had to say. It was a slow road but Kurt was beginning to find a voice here in New York and whenever he rang his dad for their weekly chats, his dad could pick up on the little changes in Kurt that he might not see himself.

The best way that Kurt revealed anything was of course through song. When he sang the barriers came down and if anyone particularly cared to know him then that would be the moment when they learned the most about him. It felt like he was baring his soul sometimes.

Kurt had to admit a lot of the singing that he had been doing lately was him baring himself to Blaine. Trying to somehow let him know how he felt without having to announce it out loud. A part of him fears that this is all too soon and Blaine won't understand how he feels. Maybe he'll even be rejected by Blaine. He know that Blaine feels something for him, he had made that very clear but if it wasn't at the same level as Kurt then that had the potential to frighten Blaine off and Kurt would be left heartbroken, even though they hadn't been doing this, whatever, this actually was, for that long. He didn't want to keep thinking like that but there was a very real possibility that, that could happen. Risking your heart was one of the scariest things in the world that you could do but at the same time it had the potential to be so rewarding. He was taking that risk that some people never took and he was terrified.

Kurt looked over at his friends and smiled, seeing all of them smiling encouragingly. Just as Kurt was about to step off of the stage he realised that all but one were smiling back at him. Sam was actually wearing a slight glare on his face which made Kurt freeze up inside. The glare was definitely aimed at him and the only thing that Kurt could think of that he had done to receive such a look was his relationship with Blaine. The same one that they were keeping a secret.

Kurt wondered if Blaine had told his best friend in the hopes of some support and if he had why hadn't he discussed that with Kurt first. He assumed that Blaine would have wanted to talk it through with him before he told anyone. He laid that idea to rest, knowing that Blaine would have told him and he trusted that Blaine would have let him know. The alternative was worrying though. If Sam had noticed something and had been able to guess what was going on, then Blaine and Kurt could be in big trouble. If Sam could notice something like that, and sometimes he wasn't the brightest of sparks, then what kept other people from also seeing right though their lies?

Blaine felt his heartbeat quicken as he made his way back to their tables and smiled at the praise he got from their friends.

"I'm actually feeling a little unwell. I think I'd better get home." Kurt said.

And he looked ill too. He was shaking slightly and a light sheen of sweat had covered his forehead. He even looked a little bit green.

"Do you want me to walk you back?" Blaine said worriedly, not liking the way that Kurt was looking right now.

"No, no. I'll be alright. I just need to lie down." Kurt said, not wanting to give Sam anymore evidence.

"Kurt you really shouldn't go alone." Mercedes cooed.

She had kind of taken Kurt under her wing and sometimes treated him like she was his mother which could be welcoming and a little weird at the same time. Kurt didn't mind, he knew that it was just her way of looking out for him.

"I'll take him." Santana said, standing up and grabbing Kurt's arm. "We'll see you guys later."

Santana dragged her friend outside and grabbed a cab instead of walking back to his room. They were quiet in the cab but Santana kept watching him, as if urging him to say something. She knew something was going on, she just had no clue what. She knew it must be something serious if Kurt was react like this.

They got back to Kurt's room and he shakily unlocked the door and then turned to face Santana, assuming that she would say goodbye to him there. Instead she pushed her way inside of his room and got settled on the desk chair, pulling it closer to the bed and then patting the side of the bed, expecting Kurt to sit down.

Kurt sighed, knowing that she wouldn't leave unless he talked to her.

"So what's going on with you?" Santana asked as soon as Kurt had sat down on the bed.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore." Kurt admitted quietly to her, his voice shaking with emotion.

"What's happened?" Her tone was actually caring, which was rare for Santana. Normally her attitude was that if it didn't affect her then she didn't really care what was going on.

Kurt debated in his mind whether to tell her the truth. He was finding it hard, trying to deal with it all on his own and maybe it would be better for him to sit down and talk to someone about it. Someone that wasn't Blaine. Kurt felt like he could trust Santana and he felt that she wouldn't spill his secret if she understood the situation properly.

"If I tell you, you have to promise that you won't tell anyone else. I haven't said a word to anyone and I need to know that I have your confidence. Please Santana."

She just nodded, reassuring him that she wouldn't tell a soul, wondering what the big deal could be and eager to find out what Kurt was hiding from everyone.

"Blaine and I are in a relationship." Kurt admitted. Even just by saying it out loud it felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

"Why aren't you telling people? That's great news."

Kurt gulped. "Because Blaine has a girlfriend and everybody thinks that he's straight."

Santana looked wide-eyed at Kurt, not quite believing what he had just told her. He had assumed, when she met Blaine that he was gay like Kurt and had been waiting for them to make a move on each other for ages. She was fully supportive of a relationship between them after seeing the way that they had stared after each other.

"Seriously?" she questioned.

Kurt nodded and quickly wiped away a tear that had fallen from his eyes.

"Why hasn't he ended things with his girlfriend? Looking at him originally I just assumed that he was gay. He has this vibe about him."

"He said it has something to do with his father and business. I don't really understand. I just wanted to be with him. I tried to fight it, I really did but in the end I couldn't deny how I felt for him. I just couldn't. So we've entered into this relationship together that no one can know about for I don't know how long, maybe forever. Except I think that maybe Sam knows somehow. The looks he was giving me while we were at the bar shows me that he isn't happy with me and the only thing I can think of that I've done wrong is this thing with Blaine."

Santana could understand where Blaine was coming from about the business thing. The world of business managed to sink into every aspect of your life and she wouldn't be surprised if Blaine was expected to have dealings with the company that his father was involved in, whichever that may be. There was also the fact that a lot of business wasn't really very gay-friendly. Men tended to need to be seen as alpha-men and stereotypically, gay men didn't fit that ideal. Still it was of Santana's mind that a real man would admit to being who he is, no matter what anyone thought. It was clear that Blaine had already defied the business world of his parents by the course that he had chosen to study. Surely he would be man enough to come out to those around him.

"Kurt maybe you should talk to Blaine about this. If Sam is his best friend then he will have to hear Blaine out and Blaine might be able to smooth things over with him and Sam might be supportive of you too."

Kurt nodded slowly, hearing what Santana was saying but feeling scarred that if he pushed too hard on this relationship that it might not bend and it might just shatter. He supposed it would have to be a risk he had to take.

He picked up his phone and sent off a text to Blaine, telling him his fears and then nervously waited for a text to come back.

XXXX

Blaine felt his phone vibrate as Sam led him out of the bar and down an alley at the side of it. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw that it was Kurt how had texted him. He was worried about his boyfriend and wanted to make sure that he was alright but Sam had asked for a moment of Blaine's time. Blaine had no clue what was so important that it couldn't be talked about with anyone else around but he trusted his best friend.

"What's going on Sam?" Blaine asked when they finally came to a stop.

"I know what you're doing Blaine and I'm going to ask you to stop." Sam said.

Blaine's heartbeat started to quicken but he never admitted to anything. "What are you talking about?"

"You and Kurt!" Sam shouted. "I'm not stupid! I saw you guys holding hands under the table when I guess you thought that no one was looking. But here's the deal, I was looking and I can't believe what I saw. You have a girlfriend Blaine. Alright no one is really sure about her but she is your girlfriend and you should be faithful to her."

"It's complicated, Sam. I love Kurt. I love him and I don't want to be a part from him. At the same time I can't end things with Amy because of our parents. I refuse to say goodbye to Kurt though so this is the best option. Why can't you support me?"

"Because I think you're making a big mistake dude. You and Amy are alright together. If you both put a bit more work in then you would be great together. Does Kurt even know about Amy?"

Blaine nodded. "He didn't want anything to do with me after I had told him but I managed to sway his judgement because I need him in my life Sam. Please understand that."

"I guess Kurt isn't the guy I thought he was." Sam said, ignoring Blaine plea. "I thought that he was one of the good guys that would never want to break up a relationship."

"Don't talk badly about him." Blaine snapped, angrily, not willing to hear anyone insult Kurt. "I convinced him. If you're going to talk badly about anyone then it should be me. I kept pestering him until he gave in."

"Then you need to undo things. You need to end it with Kurt and go back to Amy. You can only date one Blaine and you've been with her longer. It's not like you and Kurt have been together for long. No one will really get hurt if you end things. If you continue with this relationship then a lot of people have the potential to be hurt. That's just not cool man."

Blaine could understand where his friend was coming from but he had expected Sam to be a bit more understanding. He knew Blaine better than most people and he should have known that Blaine had never wanted to hurt anyone. Blaine hated hurting others. Sam should have known what the situation was actually like based on the fact that this was kind of very out of character for Blaine. And he had taken Sam's advice and tried to stay away but it had made both him and Kurt deeply upset and he couldn't do that to the two of them.

"I'm just trying to look out for you." Sam said, somewhat more calmly. "You're my best friend and I don't want you to get hurt."

"I appreciate it Sam. I really do-" Before Blaine could say anything else Mercedes had come into the alleyway and was looking at the boys curiously.

"What are you guys doing it here?"

"Blaine and I just had to have a little chat about something but it's all alright now." Sam smiled at his girlfriend, any trace of the conversation that he had just been having with Blaine had gone from his face.

Blaine knew that even though Sam completely disagreed with what he was doing and thought he was stupid for even starting anything with Kurt, Sam would actually keep Blaine's secret and not tell anyone else. That was because at the end of the day he was Blaine's best friend and the two of them had fallen into this brotherly like relationship so they both knew that they would always have each other's backs, even if the other didn't agree with what was going on. At least Blaine could count his lucky stars for that.

Still it was saddening that Sam couldn't see how hard this all was for him. Sam couldn't see how much Kurt meant to Blaine. He had told Sam that he loved Kurt which he was one hundred percent sure of but he didn't think that Sam had really believed what he had said. It probably sounded crazy which was why Blaine wasn't even thinking about telling Kurt yet. But the truth of the matter was that that was how Blaine felt. He had never felt this way about anyone else before which was why his gut was telling him that he needed to be with Kurt.

XXXX

The group finally said their goodbyes a little while later and Blaine was saddened to admit that there was a strange tension between him and Sam that everyone could sense though no one said anything about it.

As Blaine was making his way home he looked at his phone and saw that he had a message from Kurt which he had forgotten about after his talk with Sam.

**From Kurt:**

**Blaine I think Sam knows something. It looks as though he hates me.**

Blaine felt like hitting himself that he hadn't looked at Kurt's message as soon as he had received it. No wonder Kurt looked ill when he left. He was probably completely freaking out and Blaine hadn't even replied to him to let him know that everything was alright. Kurt was probably assuming the worst.

Blaine increased his pace and instead of going to his room he tapped on Kurt's door, hoping that his boyfriend was still awake.

A minute later Kurt answered the door. He was wearing his pyjamas and his eyes were red-rimmed telling Blaine instantly that Kurt had been crying. Blaine gently pushed Kurt back into the room and kicked the door lightly closed with his foot. Then he took Kurt in his arms and held him close to him. He could feel Kurt's fresh tears through his shirt and he hated that this was making Kurt cry.

"Come and lay down." Blaine led Kurt over to the bed and he kicked off his shoes and chucked aside his coat before climbing onto the bed and pulling Kurt into his arms again, resting Kurt's cheek against his shoulder.

"Sam does know but he doesn't hate you, I promise you that. He's just angry at me for putting us all in this position but he isn't going to say anything. Please don't cry Angel. I can't stand it when you cry." Blaine said softly.

"I told Santana." Kurt whispered. "I'm sorry but I needed to talk to someone."

"Hey, that's okay. I know you need someone and I'm glad that you have Santana here for you. She's become a really good friend."

"We're going to be okay, aren't we?" Kurt asked, his voice small and unsure.

"We will. One way or another, things are going to be alright for us." Blaine promised.

Kurt snuggled further into Blaine's embrace and sighed. The day's roller coaster of emotions had made him feel really tired and he felt very safe and secure in Blaine arms. Before either of them had realised anything they had both drifted off to sleep, holding on to one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: 
> 
> Read All About It Part III - Emeli Sande


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the next chapter :D

Kurt and Blaine had been together for about a month now. That month had been a difficult one of learning where they stood and what they could and couldn't do considering the position of their relationship together. At the same time they were incredibly happy being together. Yes a lot of the time things were confusing but at the end of it all they knew that they had each other and they could disappear into one another's rooms and just be themselves without any prying eyes watching them or judging them.

Something that had particularly been bothering Blaine was the fact that he wanted to take Kurt out on a real fancy date, wine him and dine him and make Kurt feel like they were the only two people in the universe. He wasn't sure about telling Kurt how much he loved him right now for fear of scaring the boy off but he really wanted to do things that showed Kurt how much he felt about him. The whole secretive thing about the relationship stopped any of that though and it was really starting to agitate Blaine.

It was actually Santana that came to the rescue on that front. Blaine had been sat along drinking coffee in his favourite place. A little corner place that not many people visited because of how out of the way it was. He had been minding his own business, trying to work on some song writing for class when a flyer had been slapped down in front of him and Blaine had looked up to see Santana in front of his table. She had smiled at him and then walked off without saying anything.

Blaine looked down at the flyer that Santana had put down, slightly weirded out that she had been there, and smiled when he saw what it was. The flyer was advertising a Masquerade ball and Blaine instantly knew why Santana had given it to him. A masked ball meant that people's identities were kept hidden which meant that Blaine could go out with Kurt as an actual couple, doing couple things together without anyone knowing that it was then.

Blaine packed up his stuff excitedly and made his way to NYU where he knew that Kurt had a voice lesson. He wanted to meet up with Kurt as soon as possible to ask him if he would like to go with him. It sucked that he wouldn't be able to greet him in the way that he wanted to but it would at least look like it was just two friends meeting after class. Blaine had done it a couple of times now and it didn't look like anyone had assumed anything and Kurt was keeping his ears open for any whispers. So far they were in the clear.

Kurt smiled when he saw Blaine waiting for him outside his classroom. He hadn't been expecting him so it was a very pleasant surprise that he was there and Kurt wasn't complaining in the least.

"Hey, how was your voice class?" Blaine asked, an infectious grin on his face.

"It's going good. My teacher said that she couldn't believe that I had never had any official voice training before so I'm guessing that's a good thing." Kurt laughed lightly.

"I'm convinced that your voice was given to you by angels." Blaine teased, making Kurt blush.

Blaine had started to call Kurt 'Angel' and every time it made Kurt feel as if he were glowing inside. It made Kurt feel precious and loved. He very much loved the pet name. Blaine had only started calling him 'Angel' because of the fact that he thought that Kurt's voice came from angels or that Kurt was actually an angel himself. Kurt often tried to shrug off the attention but Blaine was adamant about showing it.

"So why have you come to meet me today?" Kurt asked as they started to walk away from the classroom that he had just been in.

"Santana gave me the perfect idea for me to be able to take you on a proper date. A date of fairy tales." Blaine enthused quietly, conscious that there were other people around, luckily no one that he knew though.

Kurt smiled at Blaine. "So what is it?"

"Kurt Hummel, would you do me the honour of attending a Masquerade ball with me this weekend?" Blaine said, wanting to ask Kurt officially like an actual date.

Kurt's smile lit up his whole entire face. "I would love to go to that with you Mr. Anderson." Kurt teased.

Blaine almost went to go and hug Kurt but luckily he stopped himself at the last minute, aware that they were still in public and they didn't know how could be about.

"I've never been to one before but it's the best place for secrecy and romance. I thought it would be the perfect place for us so remind me to thank Santana."

"Yeah it seems great." Kurt said happily. "Gosh, I don't have a lot of time to plan the perfect outfit!"

"You'll look amazing no matter what you wear. Hell, I'd bet that you could even pull off a black dustbin bag." Blaine laughed.

Kurt rolled his eyes but couldn't help the grin that was on his face. Compliments from Blaine gave him an infectious smile and a brilliant blush.

"Still, I had better get planning my outfit. Every moment is an opportunity for fashion, Blaine. Especially an event like this where you are anonymous and fashion is what you are judged on."

"Well I know you will look perfect. I just hope I can match up to your expectations."

"You always look handsome." Kurt said shyly and Blaine grinned at the comment.

"Darn." Blaine said as he checked his watch. "I need to get to class but I'll be round later, okay? We'll talk more about the ball then."

"Okay. I'll see you later. I'm about to go into full time planning mode anyway."

Their parting at college was always a little awkward because the both of them wanted nothing more than to hug each other goodbye, or kiss each other on the cheek and they couldn't. They always seemed to stand there for a brief pause before they would go their separate ways. It always happened without fail.

As Kurt headed home he pulled out a phone and messaged Santana.

**To Santana:**

**Thank you xo**

Kurt didn't have to wait long for a reply from his friend.

**From Santana:**

**Don't mention it lady xo**

Kurt had become used to her often offensive nicknames and welcomed them as a part of who Santana was. He knew she wasn't using them to be cruel so he mostly ignored the names that she called him. She proved continuously in other ways that she was an amazing friend to him and Kurt would be eternally grateful for her being in his life.

XXXX

Kurt went straight home and fired up his laptop looking for deals online for the perfect outfit and probably most importantly, a mask for the evening. That was after all the main aspect of a Masquerade ball.

He finally felt like he was doing something with himself in New York. He knew that it was something small and silly and it wasn't like he could document the experience but it felt amazing to be going out and doing something more than what he had been doing. And the fact that he could share the experience with Blaine was amazing. He had wondered if he would ever experience a date like any normal couple would because of the delicate situation that they were in and to be able to go on one with the boy he loved was amazing. He knew that that night would probably be the best in his life so far.

Kurt spent a few hours working on the perfect outfit for the ball. He probably should have been working on his assignments but he felt like this took preference over those. By the time that Kurt knew that Blaine was getting out of class and would be heading to his, Kurt had finished putting together the perfect outfit, though he wouldn't show Blaine, wanting to wait for the actual night like any other ordinary date.

Blaine knocked on Kurt's door having gone to Kurt's straight from his classes and as soon as the door was closed they were able to relax and greet each other like any other couple. Blaine caught Kurt's lips in a sweet and lingering kiss.

"Mmm. I've been wanting to do that all day." Blaine said. "Nothing tastes sweeter than you lips."

Kurt couldn't help the little giggle that slipped out of his mouth or the playful eye roll that he gave Blaine.

"God, you are so adorable." Blaine sighed.

He truly thought that Kurt was too adorable for his own good. He never wanted Kurt to change. He couldn't imagine him being anything other than the sweet person that he was. He had such a loving heart and an amazing ability to understand others emotions. Blaine was often in awe of Kurt. He really thought that Kurt was amazing, no matter if Kurt thought the opposite.

"So have you started putting your outfit for the Masquerade ball together?" Blaine questioned, curious.

"I have finished putting it together." Kurt couldn't help but grin proudly. "But unfortunately for you, you'll have to wait until the night to see it."

"What!? How is that fair? I wanna see." Blaine complained, childishly.

Kurt couldn't help but laugh at Blaine which made the older boys frown increase. Kurt had a way of fixing that though. He just started kissing away Blaine's frown.

"I know what you're trying to do." Blaine said in between kisses.

"Is it working?" Kurt asked, cheekily.

"You know it is." Blaine trapped Kurt in his arms and started kissing him a bit harder. Then he started making his way down to Kurt's neck where he started kissing and gently sucking on Kurt's collarbone. Kurt let out an involuntary moan which sent Blaine's blood rushing south and he knew that he would soon have to cool off before he did something stupid like chuck Kurt on the bed and have his wicked way with him. That wasn't how he wanted their first time together to go.

And yes Blaine had been thinking about it. With someone as hot as Kurt it was something that was impossible not to think about. Blaine did want to eventually take that step with Kurt. He loved Kurt and he hoped that the love would be returned. When they were ready Blaine had no problem bringing it up with Kurt and getting his views on the intimacy of their relationship.

Blaine could still remember that night where Kurt and he had accidentally fallen asleep and to be honest he had never had such a good night's sleep. There had been nothing sexual about it and it had been so nice and peaceful to wake up slowly, their limbs still entangled even more so than they had been when they had fallen asleep.

Kurt had been adorably shy after his sleepy brain registered where he was and who he was with. Blaine couldn't help but tease him, loving to see his blush get brighter and brighter, turning his pale cheeks pink and then red.

Blaine drew back from Kurt not wanting to risk falling into anything and doing something in the heat of the moment. He looked and saw that he'd given Kurt a hickey on his collarbone and he couldn't help but feel another streak of lust go through him. There was something about seeing a mark that he had done on someone that turned him on, even more so as it showed so much more compared to Kurt's very pale skin. He'd never really given a hickey before. Amy had given him different ones over the time that they had been together, mainly on his chest where no one could see it. Seeing that on Kurt and knowing that he had done it and it was in a place where it could be easily seen made the lustful beast inside him roar with pride. It was like now people knew that Kurt was taken and that made Blaine very happy indeed. Again, he was well aware that he was being selfish.

Blaine cleared his throat, trying to dispel any of those sorts of thoughts from his mind. "I was actually wondering if you wanted to come round and hear that song that I've written so that you can get a rough idea what it's like."

"I'd love to." Kurt said with a smile.

He hadn't really been round to Blaine's room that many times because they were both fearful of Amy coming round unexpectedly. Kurt was just a little paranoid and Blaine knew that Amy had done that several times, coming round unannounced and expecting him to just drop whatever he was doing.

Tonight, however, Blaine knew that Amy was completely busy having been called into work to do a night shift, something that she had text him earlier about, complaining. Blaine shouldn't really have felt so happy about it but it was hard to deny that he did. This was the perfect opportunity to have Kurt come round and have a listen to the track that he wanted him to sing to. He even had the word for Kurt to read through so he could see what they were like. Blaine couldn't wait to see what Kurt thought about the track and he couldn't not admit to the fact that he was incredibly nervous about what Kurt would think about it. Sharing his work was always a nerve-wracking experience and this time felt ten times worse because he really cared about Kurt's opinion. He knew that Kurt had liked the original song that he had sung at the bar but that had been a little dabble that he's had in his back pocket for a few years now, having written it while he was in high school. This song meant so much more.

Blaine and Kurt went next door and Kurt got settled on Blaine's bed as Blaine fired up his Apple Mac and got everything set up. Kurt looked around the room seeing a pin board full of old tickets and photos. There were a lot of pictures of Blaine with friends at different events and Kurt was glad to see that Blaine had a good amount of friends. Looking at the pictures did make him a little melancholy because they hadn't taken any pictures together and they probably wouldn't be able to have any pictures of them together without worrying about causing suspicion. Kurt would have loved to have a photo. When he'd imagined his future boyfriend he had always thought that he would have a picture of himself and the person he was with on the bed side table. It sucked that he couldn't do that.

"Okay, are you ready?" Blaine asked nervously.

Kurt nodded. "Sit with me while we listen?"

Blaine nodded and licked his dry lips before clicking play on the desktop and coming to sit beside Kurt on the bed. He didn't want to look at Kurt while they listened because he was way too nervous. He did allow Kurt to hold his hand, which he was ashamed to say was a little clammy.

The track started to play and Kurt was completely amazed by the talent of Blaine that shone through the track. It was amazing and powerful in Kurt's mind. The music was slightly solemn but very beautiful. Kurt closed his eyes to allow himself just to hear and he got lost within the music that his boyfriend had produced. When the music had finished Kurt kept his eyes closed for a bit longer before he slowly opened them and shifted so that he could face Blaine.

"Honey, that was amazing. I don't even have words." Kurt said honestly.

"You liked it?" Blaine asked shyly.

"I loved it. It was so beautiful." Kurt said, trying to show Blaine how honest he was being. He pecked Blaine on the cheek. "Can I see the lyrics?"

Blaine found the sheet music from out of his drawers on the desk and handed it to Kurt, watching him carefully as he read though them.

"Blaine? I would really love to sing this song for you. Thank you so much." Kurt said, having loved the lyrics.

The smile that Blaine gave him was completely worth it and Kurt couldn't help but find the smile infectious.

The two of them spent the rest of the evening going over the song with Blaine explaining what he had envisioned and Kurt thinking about how he could adapt this so he felt that it was perfect for him. It was very much a team effort which Blaine loved. Things felt very effortless with Kurt.

XXXX

Blaine knocked on Kurt's door, adjusting his mask nervously. Honestly he felt like a bit of a fool in the mask and outfit but he was so excited to be able to take Kurt on a proper date. Blaine loved romance. He absolutely loved it and something like a Masquerade ball, Blaine thought was very romantic. The mystery of it all and knowing that only you know who someone is. You could be anyone at the ball like that. You could pretend to be someone you're not or you could be the real you that you have decided to hide from everybody else. The possibilities were endless for a night like tonight. Blaine really hoped Kurt could see how magical an evening like this was too but Blaine didn't really doubt that he couldn't see that.

Kurt opened the door and Blaine breath was practically taken away by how stunning this boy looked. His mask was white leaving his blue eyes to shine through. There was a pattern on the mask that looked like slight swirls all over it and it really did look magical. He looked beautiful and the smile on his face told Blaine that this was something that Kurt was going to really enjoy.

"Don't you look handsome." Kurt smiled at Blaine and reached out a hand to fiddle with the bow-tie that he was wearing. "I approve of your outfit."

"Thank you. You look stunning. Words can't even describe." Blaine said.

Kurt blushed adorably, even more noticeable beneath the mask.

"Shall we get going?" Kurt asked.

Blaine reached out a hand and Kurt gave him his. They walked hand in hand out of the halls and to the ball. Luckily it wasn't too far away from the halls because it was a NYU event which meant that the boys could walk together and wouldn't have to take a taxi.

Blaine was loving the feel of being able to walk hand-in-hand with the person that he loved. He worried that he would never be able to do this with Kurt. He didn't want Kurt to be a secret because he really did love Kurt more than anything, not that he was going to be saying anything, not right now anyway. He just didn't see how he would be able to be with him full and forever with all the family stuff he had going on in the background. His parents would probably hate him and he'd have no fall back plan for his life. At the same time Blaine knew that he couldn't keep Kurt a secret forever. It just wasn't far on Kurt and Blaine didn't want to hurt him. At some point he would have to decide if he wanted a future with Kurt and damn all the other issues or if he would break-up with Kurt, breaking his own heart, and doing what is expected of him, which is marrying Amy, something he doesn't think that he or Amy really want.

Blaine really had no idea what he was going to do when that day came that he would have to make the choice between love and family. He tried to stop thinking about it. Now was not the time. At the moment he just wanted to make sure that he and Kurt had an amazing time with each other and that they created a night full of memories that neither of them would forget.

XXXX

They arrived at the hall where a lot of people were already at, some dancing but most people were just chatting around the side of the dance floor, with some groups sat at the tables. It had been richly decorated to look as if it were a palace ballroom, no doubt to make the occupants feel like they were back in the times when balls were a royal event.

Blaine watched as Kurt took in all the sights and Blaine was happy that he had been able to take Kurt to this. Blaine knew from one of the many conversations that he and Kurt had had that Kurt really liked things that looked like they came from period dramas, like Jane Austen novels and such like that.

"How do you like it, my prince?" Blaine said, teasingly.

"I like it very much." Kurt said back a smile on his face.

"Let's go and grab a drink?" Blaine suggested and Kurt gave him a small smile and they went to get their drinks.

For the whole evening they didn't talk to anyone. They didn't want anyone to notice them and they wanted to just be together without any other distractions. At first they just sat at the tables, talking to each other, drinking and eating the nibbles that were available.

Towards the end of the evening Blaine was trying to work up the courage to ask Kurt to dance with him. He worried because he had never actually danced with a boy before and he didn't know who would take lead and who would follow. He didn't just want to assume that either of them would take it but he was a little embarrassed to have to be asking Kurt and he didn't want to appear as rude.

"Do you want to dance?" Kurt asked shyly, as if reading Blaine's mind.

"I'd love that." Blaine admitted. "I'm just not sure which one of us wants to lead."

Kurt grinned. "You get bonus marks from me for not just assuming that you will lead."

Blaine just looked confusedly at Kurt. "Why would I assume that?"

Kurt just leaned forward and kissed Blaine before standing up and taking his hand. "Come on lover boy. Lead me."

Blaine followed after Kurt, goofily almost tripping over, not quite used to the random bursts of confidence that Kurt sometimes showed. He loved seeing the different sides of Kurt. He always seemed to zig when Blaine thought that he would zag and he really loved that about him. There was never a dull moment.

They danced to some songs, most of them were quite fast and as the evening wore on they got slower. Blaine loved the feeling of Kurt against him. He was more muscle-y than a woman but his skin was still soft. Blaine wished that he could always hold Kurt like this.

"Right this is the last song of the evening. It was requested by an obvious Katy Perry lover so people grab your loved ones and dance this last one together." The DJ called over the mic.

Blaine grinned at Kurt and pulled him close.

"I'm guessing it's you then." Kurt chuckled lightly.

Blaine didn't say anything but started to sing along with the lyrics, softly in Kurt's ear.

" _Oh no, did I get too close?_

_Oh, did I almost see what's really on the inside?_

_All your insecurities,_

_All the dirty laundry,_

_Never made me blink one time."_

Kurt blushed furiously as he realised what Blaine was doing but another part of him wonder if this was Blaine trying to tell him something or whether it was something else.

_Unconditional, unconditionally,_

_I will love you unconditionally._

_There is no fear now,_

_Let go and just be free._

_I will love you unconditionally."_

Blaine sang the lyrics so only Kurt could hear him. He had no clue how Kurt was reacting to the lyrics but he hoped that Kurt would understand where he was coming from. The amount he felt for Kurt scared him sometimes and he wondered if all these emotions would scare Kurt too. He could only hope that Kurt understood the song and the meaning behind it. He could feel Kurt tightening his hold on him and Blaine hoped that that was a good sign. He was desperately hoping for it.

" _Come just as you are to me,_

_Don't need apologies,_

_Know that you ate worthy._

_I'll take your bad days with your good,_

_Walk through the storm I would,_

_I do it all because I love you, I love you."_

Kurt felt tears welling up in his eyes and he just had to kiss Blaine. Blaine welcomed the kiss willingly, stopping in his singing and letting himself be held tightly by Kurt.

"Kurt, I love you. I know I'm crazy but I love you." Blaine admitted and it felt like such a release.

Kurt couldn't help but let out the chocked sob as he kissed Blaine again, not wanting to part their lips, their hands or their bodies from each other.

"I love you too."

Blaine heart burst at hearing the words that he had been hoping for. In all his nightmares Kurt hadn't returned his love and in all his dreams he had. Blaine was so deliriously happy that Kurt was feeling the same for him as he was for Kurt. All those fears that had been playing on his mind and they were all for nothing. He felt kinds stupid now but then it had been a really terrifying thought.

Both of them knew, realistically, that problems came along with their declarations of love. The future of their relationship seemed uncertain and, if they were both being honest, a little bleak. Neither of them knew what was going to happen but Blaine didn't see how he would be able to break away from Amy unless it was her idea to break up with him, that way his father would have no problems with him not marrying her. The gay thing would probably be the biggest problem that Blaine knew what not be an option in his father's eyes. Blaine didn't even want to think about that right now. Not when he was so happy and he felt so content being here dancing with Kurt.

" _So open up your heart and just let it begin,_

_Open up your heart and just let it begin,_

_Open up your heart and just let it begin,_

_Open up your heart!_

_Acceptance is the key to be,_

_To be truly free._

_Will you do the same for me?"_

Kurt grinned as Blaine continued singing the lyrics, wearing his own big smile. Kurt decided right then and there that this would be one of their songs.

" _Unconditional, unconditionally,_

_I will love you unconditionally._

_And there is no fear now,_

_Let go and just be free,_

_'Cause I will love you unconditionally,_

_I will love you,_

_I will love you,_

_I will love you unconditionally."_

Kurt and Blaine kissed again when Blaine had finished the lyrics. "Shall we get out of here?" Kurt asked.

Blaine nodded and took Kurt's hand as they headed out of the hall. They walked back to the halls and neither of them wanted the night to end. They got to Kurt's door and stood there uncertainly for a minute.

"Would you like to come in?" Kurt asked, biting the bullet and asking.

"I'd love that." Blaine said it shakily and he wiped his sweaty palms against his trousers as Kurt led him into the room.

They ended up sat on Kurt's bed, the room having little other seating options apart from Kurt's desk chair. Neither of them wanted to be apart anyway. They laid back against Kurt's pillows, holding on to one another. Their kisses started slow and lovingly. 'I love you's' were whispered by the both of them in between kissing, their lips always touching and not leaving one another.

Neither of them knew who had started making the kissed more desperate but the both of them were kissing each other faster and grabbing at each other's clothes, wanting to feel the firmness of the other beneath their hands. They got lost in one another, as if nothing else mattered.

Blaine shrugged off his blazer and tossed it on the floor next to the bed before helping Kurt to discard of his own. Blaine started undressing Kurt of his bow-tie and his shirt, wanting to feel Kurt's smooth skin on his hand. As Kurt's neck was exposed Blaine's lips travelled down, wanting to feel and taste the skin of Kurt's neck. He could feel Kurt's pulse under his lips, as Kurt's heart started to beat faster.

He finally managed to get all of the buttons undone on Kurt's shirt and tossed that aside, not caring where it went. He took and moment to just gaze at Kurt, loving what he was seeing. His skin was pale and perfectly smooth. The only darkness was Kurt's nipples.

Blaine continued his exploration, kissing Kurt's neck and collarbone, remembering how it felt to leave a love bite on Kurt and wanting to do it again.

Somehow Blaine ended up on top of Kurt in his efforts to leave Kurt with another marking and there was no mistaking the obvious hardness that was growing underneath him. The feeling was a strange one for Blaine having never experienced anything like that before. He was having his own problem with an erection and was being careful to hold it up a little so that Kurt couldn't feel how painfully hard he was already. Kurt obviously couldn't hide his from Blaine what with Blaine pressing against him.

Blaine's erection was really starting to get painful and he needed to give it some friction. He lowered himself so that he was pressed more against Kurt and Kurt's arms wrapped around Blaine holding him in place. Blaine let himself drag against Kurt's own hardness slowly. The moan that Kurt let out made Blaine practically see stars and he couldn't help but grind against Kurt more who seemed like he was enjoying it.

Kurt was loving the feel of Blaine against him and the frictions that Kurt was getting from Blaine felt so, so good. Kurt didn't want it to stop. However, another part of his brain was screaming at him that this was too much too soon. Kurt didn't want to offend or upset Blaine by making him stop but something didn't feel quite right in his head, even if his body was crying out for release and was absolutely loving the feel of Blaine on top of him.

Kurt made his mind to speak up. If he couldn't be comfortable while doing this then the best thing to do was to stop and not try and push it. He really hoped that Blaine understood.

"Blaine, stop." Kurt panted out.

Blaine instantly stopped and drew back from Kurt, not liking the sound of Kurt's voice which seemed to shudder with uncertainty. Both of them were panting, Kurt sat up and grabbed his blanket to cover himself, looking a little green.

"What's the matter?" Blaine asked, alarmed. "Have I pushed you too far?" Blaine asked worriedly.

"Blaine, don't, it's okay." Kurt said, grabbing Blaine's hands, wanting to feel connected to him. "I'm just not quite ready. I hope you're not disappointed." Kurt looked down at their hands, not wanting to meet Blaine's eyes.

"Kurt that's okay. I'm glad you stopped me. Can I ask why?" Blaine wanted to know what Kurt was thinking, not wanting to assume anything.

"I'm a virgin." Kurt stuttered out, ashamedly.

"Kurt, there's nothing wrong with that. Please don't be ashamed. Sex is something special and you should only do it when you're completely ready and sure about it. It should be something beautiful to share with the person that you choose to give your heart to, whenever you're ready to do that. And no one should be allowed to make you feel bad about waiting or anything like that." Blaine spoke so passionately that it brought tears to Kurt's eyes.

"Thank you. Thank you for understanding." Kurt said, moving closer to Blaine so that they could hold each other.

"Hey, I love you, okay?" Blaine said, as if it explained everything and really it did.

"I love you too." Kurt said and snuggled into Blaine's embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song:
> 
> Unconditionally - Katy Perry


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the person who was worried that I might abandon this story, I say never going to happen. I will never abandon any story that I start posting :)

Sam met Blaine after one of his classes and was wearing a massive grin on his face which Blaine instantly found suspicious. The best friends hadn't been talking as much as normal because of the argument that they had had about Blaine situation with Kurt and Amy and Sam was still being unsupportive.

Blaine had wanted to go to his best friend and tell him all about the confessions that he and Kurt had shared and it was hurting Blaine that he couldn't do that. He knew where Sam was coming from though and he knew that he was trying to look out for Blaine. It was just in the way that Blaine really didn't want. Blaine kinda wished that Sam was at least a little open to it so that he could discuss it all properly with his friend so that he could make some kind of decision. It wasn't like Blaine enjoyed the hiding or the secrecy. Really he didn't like it at all. But he couldn't just chuck away what he was feeling for Kurt and he had no clue how to go about dealing with Amy and his family. He kept on feeling like he was stuck.

Blaine hadn't actually seen Amy for a few weeks. Occasionally she would message him with little message and he would reply to her. Kurt was the only person that Blaine talked to on a daily basis. Every day they would find some time to meet up with each other, even if it was just briefly. Neither of them ever got bored of seeing one another. Blaine knew that that feeling wouldn't last forever but it was exhilarating for right now. He just loved being with Kurt, talking to Kurt, kissing and hugging him. Even just studying in the school library together, where they couldn't touch each other or talk in any way romantically. They still lit up Blaine's day.

Blaine focused as Sam greeted him with a 'bro' hug. "Dude, where have you been? It's been ages." Sam said.

"I've been busy, you know." Blaine said after Sam had let him go.

"Don't lie to me, Blaine." Sam said. "I know most of your time is spent with Kurt."

Blaine's smile at seeing his friend diminished a little. He really didn't want to fight about Kurt. He was still riding on the high over the date that he and Kurt had had at the weekend and he really didn't want anyone to ruin that for him. He knew that Sam disapproved but why did he have to keep bringing it up all the time?

"I didn't think you'd want to know about any time that I'm spending with him." Blaine said, starting to walk away from his classroom and Sam, not wanting to stick around for Sam's lecture.

"Alright, alright. I will keep quiet." Sam said, hurrying to catch up with Blaine. "I was actually meeting with you to invite you out with Mercedes and I."

Blaine couldn't help but smile. He really liked Mercedes but in his avoidance of Sam he hadn't really seen much of her either. "That sounds like fun."

Sam turned and started walking backwards away from Blaine. "That's awesome. Mercedes had already booked a table for our double date at her favourite place."

"Wait! What?!" Blaine said, looking over at Sam.

"Amy's gonna meet us at the restaurant." Sam called and then quickly darted out of the nearest door, leaving a stunned Blaine behind.

God, how was he going to explain that to Kurt. He knew that he couldn't hide it from him. He always tried to be completely honest with Kurt, knowing that that was what made their relationship feel even more real than Blaine's one with Amy. The fact that Blaine made sure that Kurt knew everything important made the both of them feel better.

Blaine wouldn't be seeing Kurt till later tonight and he had no clue when this double date was supposed to be and knowing his luck it would be tonight or something to that Blaine didn't have a chance to talk to Kurt about it in person.

Sure enough, as soon as he had thought about it Blaine got a text through on his phone from Mercedes who was obviously very excited about it, saying which restaurant and the time tonight that they would all be meeting there. Blaine wanted to bash his head against the wall in frustration. He and Kurt had plans for tonight. Blaine was going to be sleeping over at Kurt's and they would spend the night watching a bunch of movies. Blaine had really been looking forward to it. They hadn't slept in the same bed together since that one time that they had done it accidentally and Blaine was very much looking forward to be doing it again. Holding Kurt in his arms all night or even being held by Kurt just felt perfect to him. He just hoped that Kurt wasn't going to be upset with him about the cancellation.

XXXX

Kurt put down the phone after his conversation with Blaine about having to cancel on him tonight. Kurt had insisted that after Blaine was done there that Kurt would be waiting up for him so that they could still snuggle together in bed, though he wasn't really sure about his decision now. It would feel weird having Blaine after he had just come back from her.

Until now Kurt had been living in a world where, though he was a little ashamed to admit it, he could kind of pretend that she didn't exist. Did that make him a bad person? Probably and that was what made this all the harder. He had never felt this way about anybody before and the one person that he did feel this way about could never really be his.

Because Kurt wasn't stupid. He knew that Blaine and his relationship wouldn't last. Maybe that made the whole thing stupid and him a home-wrecker. Blaine had no plans to break up with Amy and kept claiming that he wouldn't able to because of his family and their business. That left no prospects for Kurt and Blaine's future. Kurt wanted a husband someday. Someone that he could raise a family with and come home to after work. Blaine was going to marry Amy, not him. It freaking hurt to think about it. Knowing that their relationship could never really progress and sooner or later they would have to stop kidding themselves and they would have to end what they were doing, hopefully before anyone, apart from the two of them, got hurt.

He knew that it would leave him heartbroken. Blaine would at least have Amy, who he must have had some feeling for, while Kurt would be left alone. Kurt was beginning to feel like he was out of his depth with this whole relationship. He didn't know how to stop though. He wanted Blaine and he loved Blaine. How could he give up something that made his heart swell so much? Sometimes the pleasure was worth the pain.

Kurt shook his head, determined to focus on something else before he got himself into a major funk. There was a pile of work that he had which he decided that he would set his mind to. He didn't want to fall behind with his school work. This was part of the reason that he came to New York and he couldn't let his confused mind ruin his dreams that he had had before Blaine even showed up in the picture.

XXXX

Blaine met Sam and Mercedes outside the Italian restaurant. It was getting colder outside so all of them were bundled up in coats, keeping moving to keep warm.

"Shall we wait for Amy inside?" Mercedes suggested.

The boys agreed with her and Sam sent off a text telling Amy to come straight inside.

A waitress showed the trio to a table in the corner of the restaurant, by the front window, allowing them to look outside onto the busy street of New York. They all said their thanks to the waitress who took their orders of drinks before heading over to the bar leaving them to themselves.

"So Blaine, what have you been up to? It's been a while since we've all hung out. Even you and Kurt haven't been coming to our movie nights. Does the muse have you hooked again?" Mercedes asked brightly.

Her being a singer she knew that sometimes the writing bug just took over and they were all familiar with Blaine's random disappearing when he had been working on a song. Mercedes mostly had been getting songs written for her by artists that had already made it big. She had dabbled in song writing and had even gotten a few pointers from Blaine. So far all of her original songs had been rejected by her label but she held hope for some day in the future one of her own songs would be out there playing on the radio. For now, as she was still only just getting started she didn't mind singing another's songs.

"Yeah, you get how it is." Blaine lied and instantly felt a little bad. "I've actually been working with Kurt on that song that I wrote for him too though." There that was a partial truth.

"Ooo. How's that going? I've been so excited ever since you said something about it and I got to hear that boy sing. That voice." Mercedes pretended to swoon.

Blaine chuckled. "Yeah, it's something else." Blaine said with a smile, proud that someone else thought as much as he did about Kurt's voice.

"I bet that boy is gonna do big things. I can't wait to see what his future is going to be like." Mercedes said.

Sam cleared his throat, startling Blaine and Mercedes from their conversation about Kurt. He didn't bring them all on this double date to talk about Kurt. He wanted to remind Blaine about the perfectly good girlfriend that he had already.

"I bet Amy probably misses you. What with all the time you've been spending with Kurt." Sam said.

Blaine tried to look like that comment meant nothing to him but Sam was trading on dangerous ground and Mercedes wasn't stupid.

"Has Amy not met Kurt? We should invite her along to one of our movie nights!" Mercedes said happily, luckily not sensing the tension between the two guys.

"Hey guys!" A voice called from behind Blaine and he inwardly cringed.

He stood up, like it was expected of him and greeted his girlfriend with a kiss on the cheek. Her cheeks were tinted pink from the cold outside and she wore a long coat with a Christmassy scarf wrapped around her throat.

Blaine returned to his seat as Amy sat in the one that was next to him. She pulled off her coat and un-wound her scarf, draping it across the back of her chair. She was wearing a short little red dress and silky tights. As with many of her outfits, she had a lot of cleavage showing.

"How is everyone? Sorry I was a bit late. I missed the damn subway." Amy sighed, grabbing Blaine's hand and squeezing it to warm up her own.

"We were just catching up." Mercedes smiled.

"Actually Mercedes had a good idea. She was wondering if you'd like to come to one of our movie nights and meet Kurt. He's one of our new friends. He and Blaine have gotten particularly close lately." Sam said.

"Who's Kurt?" Amy asked with a quizzical look.

"Blaine hasn't told you about him?" Mercedes looked at Blaine pointedly, wondering what was going on, starting to pick up on something.

"Kurt's my new friend. He lives next door to me and he's a Freshman." Blaine tried to give her as little information as possible.

"Wait does he have a friend called Rachel Berry?" Amy asked.

"I believe so."

"Ugh, I hate that cow. Thinks she owns the place now. Someone should show her, her place. She did say something about Kurt. Isn't he gay? Seems a bit wrong to me. Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve." Amy said with a chuckle, leaving the others at the table stunned at her blatant homophobia.

Blaine was utterly outraged. He had never talked with Amy about equal rights, Blaine refused to call it 'gay rights'. He had assumed that Amy would be an accepting person. Not only that but it was insulting to both him and Kurt. Sure Blaine didn't see himself as gay but he was in love with a boy and he was in love with a boy. It was people like Amy that Blaine hid from knowing that they would never understand who they were.

"Wait, really?" Sam asked, shooting Blaine an apologetic look.

Amy laughed. "It just doesn't seem natural, does it? A man and woman were made to be compatible with each other. You won't see two men or two women having children naturally. Shall we get ready to order?" Amy asked, dismissing the conversation.

Blaine tried to control his anger at Amy, knowing that she had very strong opinions on things and she very rarely changed her mind about things like that. Blaine just couldn't believe that he knew someone that was a homophobe, let alone dating one. He had honestly thought that people his age were born just sort of knowing that there was nothing wrong with being gay. Obviously he had been wrong. Now that he thought about it, Kurt had said that there has been kids in high school that had treated him like he was little more than shit on their shoe. Still, it shook Blaine.

No one really knew quite what to say, none of them wanting to cause a scene there in front of all the other patrons of the restaurant so they all let it slide. The waitress came over and took their order. There was now a strange tension to the group sat at the table and the only one that seemed to be oblivious to it was Amy who kept trying to engage them all in superficial conversation that no one but her really cared about.

Blaine excused himself from the table, needing to have a break from her. He wanted nothing more than to be with Kurt right now, and instead he was having to suffer through this stupid evening which they all knew had been ruined now. It seemed stupid to stay but there was no way that Blaine could up and leave without making things even more suspicious to Mercedes or Amy.

Blaine was just washing his hands in the bathroom when Sam entered, looking very apologetic.

"I'm so sorry Blaine. I had no idea." Sam tried to placate Blaine.

"Neither did I. God, she just made me so angry. Its people like her that make Kurt want to shine a little less. People like her in the world that aren't afraid to cut off the oxygen so that their flame can't flourish!" Blaine said angrily.

"I think we can both agree that she will never be meeting Kurt then." Sam said, laughing weakly.

"Why would you even care?" Blaine said bitterly.

"Hey now! Just because I don't like what you and Kurt are doing doesn't mean that I'd ever want to hurt Kurt or you. You are still my best friend, okay? I wanna support you but it's hard. You were happy with this girl and then suddenly some guy comes around and completely changes everything. How do you expect me to respond to that?"

"Stop making me feel like a bad person!" Blaine shouted, angrily, before remembering where he was a lowering his voice. "I already feel like a terrible person for what I'm doing to the both of them but I don't know what else to do."

"You're not a bad person Blaine. You've just got yourself stuck at the moment." Sam said, gently, sensing how upset his best friend was. "I will always be your bro, no matter what. If I've made you feel that way then I'm sorry Blaine. I don't see you as some bad guy."

"I have no idea what I'm doing." Blaine admitted to Sam. "I love Kurt and he loves me back, we've told each other that now. Neither of us say it but we know that being in love doesn't mean we have a future together. My parents will get in the way of that, and Amy. I'm going to hurt him so much and I'm being selfish."

"Hey, Kurt knew what he was getting into, if that song he sang that time was anything to go by." Sam said, referring to Kurt singing Girl At Home at the bar. "And maybe you shouldn't count your parents out before you've talked to them. You have no idea how they feel about gay stuff. And if they do have a problem maybe you and Kurt showing them how much you love each other might help them to change their opinions."

"I wish it were that simple, Sam. It's all about business with my parents. You saw what they did to Cooper. He wanted to be an actor and travel the world. Now he's stuck working in the family business where he's going to work for the rest of his life."

Sam didn't have an answer to that and Blaine knew it. What exactly could he say?

"We should get back out there." Sam said shakily.

Blaine nodded, straightening his clothes as if that would help to unclutter all of the thoughts that were in his head. "Let's go." He agreed.

XXXX

All through the rest of the meal they managed to stick to conversations that were simple, nothing like what they had started with. They had dinner and then the couples shared two desserts between them.

Once outside of the restaurant Mercedes and Sam split from Blaine and Amy, heading back to Mercedes apartment for the night. Sam sent Blaine yet another apologetic look as Blaine was left with Amy, someone he really didn't want to be left with right now.

"So, are we gonna fuck tonight?" Amy asked, leaning towards Blaine to kiss him.

Blaine moved just in time so that her lips grazed over his cheek rather than his lips, he was wanting to save those for Kurt only.

He hated that Amy called it fucking, though that was what it really always had been. They had never been intimate in the special way that Kurt and Blaine were saving. There was no way that Amy would refer to it as making love or anything like that. She had used to tease Blaine about using that term when they had first started their relationship. Blaine had always been a romantic when he was growing up. Unlike a lot of the other boys he held love highly and didn't just want to fool around at the soonest opportunity. Of course he'd been teased mercilessly for it but he hadn't cared.

He'd been seventeen when he had lost his virginity to the girl that he thought that he was going to marry. Her name was Rosie and she was beautiful. She had long blonde hair and eyes that shone like stars. Blaine had followed her around like a puppy for almost a year before she had finally given him the time of day. She had already lost her virginity the year previously to the Quarterback of the football team and had gently guided Blaine through the whole experience. He had been so worried about hurting her and messing it up and doing it wrong. She had assured him afterwards that he hadn't hurt her and she had really enjoyed it. He had really enjoyed it too and suddenly he had found a new appetite for sex. Blaine and Rosie had had sex a lot, always making sure to be safe because she belonged to a respectable family and had planned to go to law school and become a lawyer, really not wanting to drag around a kid while she strived for her dreams. And of course Blaine had his own plans that a child wouldn't fit into. Still Blaine and Rosie had gone a lot of places sexually, always willing to experiment. Nothing too kinky and always very loving.

It had broken Blaine's heart when Rosie had told him that they needed to break up while she went off to law school thousands of miles away from New York, where Blaine had already got the confirmation that he would be going to. They had promised to stay friends, Blaine hadn't wanted to lose her and they had managed to keep in contact with each other, mostly messaging each other privately over Facebook.

Blaine wondered what Rosie would think about his situation now. It was clear to him that she didn't like Amy very much. When Amy and Rosie had met over the summer, with both of them being back in Los Angeles, it had been clear that Amy had felt very threatened by Rosie and Rosie had certainly thought that Blaine could do better than her. She couldn't even understand why Blaine was with this girl, not being able to see if they had anything in common. He pondered telling Rosie about Kurt. She didn't know that he was bisexual and it may come as a bit of shock but he knew that she was a supporter of equal rights and wouldn't surprise Blaine with any homophobic outbursts like Amy had.

Blaine decided that with Christmas coming up, and his subsequent visit to Los Angeles, where he had already made plans to meet up with Rosie, that he would talk to her about it. Lay it all out on the line and hopefully get some sound and understanding advice. She always knew how to talk to him properly so that he understood where she was coming from and his emotions wouldn't get out of control.

"Blaine? What is with you lately? We haven't talked in ages or fucked. I'd really like to know what is going on." Amy demanded.

"I'm really busy right now, Amy. School is putting the pressure on." Blaine lied.

"Bullshit." Amy said with a sneer. "Apparently you've been spending a lot of time with some stupid twink. Turning gay are you Blaine?"

"Don't even talk about my friend like that. You may not agree with who he is but you don't have to spew your hatred. I don't want to hear it." Blaine said, angrily.

"Whatever. I'm getting out of here. It's fucking freezing. Have fun with your hand tonight, Blaine."

Amy walked away without giving Blaine a chance to say anything back to her. God, she was making him so angry, he'd never felt so much anger directed at a person before.

Blaine took a deep breath before he started heading towards the subway so that he could get to Kurt's room. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with Kurt and block out the rest of the world.

This whole night had been a waste of time, time that Blaine could have spent with Kurt watching cheesy films and eating a load of junk food to himself, because Kurt insisted that it was bad for his figure. It was all these little quirks that made Blaine love that boy, no that man, even more.

Suddenly Blaine couldn't wait to get back.

XXXX

Three quarters of an hour later and Blaine was tapping on Kurt's door, hoping that the boy was still up and hadn't forgotten that he said that Blaine could come round. Blaine didn't have to wait too long before a teary-eyed Kurt opened the door and let him in.

As soon as the door was closed, Blaine held Kurt in his arms. "What's the matter?"

"I was watching the Notebook." Kurt said with a teary laugh.

He wasn't about to admit that not all of the tears were down to the film and that some of them were because he knew that Blaine was out with her. He didn't want to bring Blaine down and he didn't really want to talk about her at all.

Blaine chuckled, finding it adorable that Kurt was crying over a movie. He gently kissed him, holding him close to him. "Would it be alright if we got straight to the snuggling?"

"Of course, sweetie." Kurt said, taking his hand and leading him to the bed.

They got under the covers, Kurt in his pyjamas and Blaine in his outfit that he'd worn out, minus his coat. Blaine acted as the big spoon wanting to feel Kurt in his arms. He was utterly exhausted from the day and just wanted to shut out the world. Kurt's skin was so warm against his, which was still feeling a little chilly from the weather outside.

"I love you." Kurt whispered.

"I love you too..." Blaine managed to get out sleepily.

It wasn't long before he feel asleep, tightening his arms around Kurt, his nose buried in Kurt's hair.

Kurt laid awake for a bit longer. He could smell a strange perfume on Blaine and he knew instantly that it was hers. A few silent tears seeped out of his eyes and he tried to keep himself still, not wanting any heaving sobs to let out and alert Blaine to how he was really feeling.

This was just one of the things that Kurt would have to deal with for as long as he and Blaine were in this strange relationship. Kurt wasn't quite ready to say goodbye to Blaine yet so this was something that he was going to have to get used to. He just wished that it didn't hurt so much.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice long chapter for you guys :D thank you all for the support and the colourful death threats against Amy aha I'm glad to see people getting excited about this story.

Kurt and Blaine sat next to each other on Mercedes sofa, trying to keep some distance between themselves as they watched the Christmas movies that each one of them had picked. Their snacks were mince pies and egg nog which was leaving all of them pleasantly buzzed.

It was their last movie night before they all went their separate ways for the Christmas holidays. Sam would be going home to see his parents and his younger twin siblings in Kentucky, while Mercedes and Blaine would be going home to Los Angeles. Kurt was obviously going back to Ohio while David and Wes' families were all going abroad to England for the Christmas season.

"I'm really going to miss these evenings while we're back home." Sam said, stretching in his seat.

"Me too." Mercedes agreed. "We'll have to agree to meet all meet up as soon as we're back. Maybe invite Santana along." She suggested to Kurt.

Kurt smiled at her gratefully. "That'd be great. I already said my goodbyes to her at lunch today. She'd normally be coming back to Ohio too but her parents wanted to spend the holidays here in New York."

"I wish I could stay in New York." Blaine sighed. "It gets snow here. Los Angeles hardly ever gets snow and it's never around Christmas so I'm not at home to enjoy it." Blaine pouted adorably, and if they weren't in a room with other people then Kurt would have willingly kissed away that pout.

"Ohio is much more boring than New York. Maybe next year I'll convince my family to come to New York for the festive season." Kurt mused, wondering if he'd be able to convince his father.

"What are your plans for when you go home Kurt?" Mercedes asked, curiously.

"Well my step-brother Finn arrives home from army training the day after I get home so we'll grab him from the airport and he's already enlisted my help for buying people's Christmas presents, he's useless without someone to guide him. Then we'll probably spend some time with our old friends from the New Directions, which was my old glee club. Christmas Eve I'll help my step-mum Carole set up ready for the early morning cooking that needs to be done on Christmas day."

"What about New Year?" Blaine asked.

"New Year my uncle Andy always has a party where the parental units always get hilariously drunk and let us 'kids' do whatever we like. We play various games, have food eating contests, poker, betting with real money. One year we had a game of Monopoly that lasted twelve hours." Kurt grinned at the memory.

"That actually sounds way awesome." Sam said, giving Kurt a smile.

Kurt didn't understand the sudden personality flip in Sam. He had been weird around Kurt previously, after he had found out about Kurt and Blaine. Now for some reason he was acting a little apologetic and certainly nicer than he had before. Kurt didn't want to think that it was because he was being accepting but he couldn't be sure what had inspired the change. Blaine had avoided the issue saying that he and Sam had reached an understanding and that was all that really mattered, and that Kurt shouldn't worry his pretty little mind about it.

The night started drawing to a close at around one in the morning and everyone went their separate ways after hugging one another and wishing each other a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Blaine and Kurt got on the subway together. They were planning to spend their last night in New York together, snuggled up in Kurt's bed which was now their favourite place to be. Kurt had warned Blaine that he would have to leave in the early hours of the morning though because Rachel had approached Kurt about flying home together which Kurt had agreed to, as he hadn't really seen or talked to Rachel for some weeks. She had booked them an early flight and Kurt knew she'd be calling in on him even earlier to make sure that he was all ready to go.

They both knew that it was a little risky to have Blaine stay over but it was something that the both of them really wanted before they would be forced to spend three weeks apart from each other. They had been spending pretty much every day together to some extent and suddenly going without physical contact for a long time was going to be strange and a challenge.

XXXX

Kurt had set an alarm for five in the morning in order to get Blaine out of his room and into his own and so that Kurt could get his last little bits together before Rachel came calling on him.

Kurt soon discovered that waking up any earlier than seven in the morning for Blaine was a near impossibility. He flat out refused to get out of the bed for the first five minutes and only started to move when Kurt bribed him with kisses. It took another fifteen minutes before Blaine was fully functioning enough to kiss Kurt goodbye and exchange their last 'I love you's' in person before Blaine went next door and instantly fell into his own bed fast asleep.

Gathering all his luggage together Kurt got himself ready for the day, venturing out into the streets of New York to grab himself a coffee, even at the early hour of six a.m. He got himself a bagel for breakfast as well as his coffee at the nearest Starbucks and headed back to his room, awaiting Rachel's arrival before they would depart for the airport.

Sure enough at seven o'clock Rachel was knocking on the door looking very chipper for the early hour. Kurt still found it weird to see Rachel's new look. It was like the girl had become an adult overnight and Kurt had no idea what had happened to the old Rachel. He wondered how this new Rachel would function in Ohio and with their new friends. He knew it would be hard for Finn to recognise her now and Kurt did wonder whether it would change Finn's feelings for her. Finn had been very pro the old Rachel, it was something that Finn adored about her. The real challenge would be whether her seeing Finn would revert her back to the old her or whether she would stick with the new Rachel.

The flight back to Ohio was full of Rachel telling him all the tales of her time so far at NYU. There was a lot of talk of parties and Kurt couldn't even count the amount of names that she rattled off as if Kurt was supposed to know who they all were. Kurt couldn't figure out how they had managed to become two so completely different people in the space of a few months. He really did hardly recognise her anymore and it made him feel a little melancholy in all honesty.

For once Kurt was glad that Rachel liked to be the centre of attention because what could he honestly tell her that he had been doing with his time. There was no way he could confide in her about his relationship with Blaine knowing that she tended to have loose lips and that the secret would be out probably before they had even got back to New York. It wasn't Rachel's fault, she just really liked to talk.

All in all, Kurt was thankful when the plane landed and both sets of their parents were waiting for them at the airport. As soon as Kurt saw his father he grabbed him in a hug, letting go quickly when he remembered his father's cancer and the treatment, which was actually more painful than the cancer.

Burt Hummel did look a bit haggered but his smile was still bright as he held his son. He didn't want to admit how much he missed his son, well really both of his boys. The house was awfully quite without Kurt's show tunes playing at a ridiculous volumes and watching the football was boring since he had gotten used to watching it with Finn.

Carole had joked that maybe they should have another child and Burt was seriously considering it. Not just because he missed having boys around but because he had always wanted to have more children with Kurt's mother, Elizabeth which had unfortunately never happened due to ill health. Carole and Burt had decided to not do anything until they had discussed things with the boys and only once they had the go ahead from them and Burt's health had improved would they look into it.

To Burt though, Kurt would always be his baby boy. He truly did see Kurt as something precious, his and Lizzie's little miracle. Because of the years where it had just been him and Kurt it felt weird not to have him at home now. He was thankful for Carole and Finn because without them he didn't know how he would have survived having Kurt go off to college with Burt having to return home to an empty house every day. It was as if Carole had been placed in their lives right when someone like her was needed.

"Let's get back home, huh? I want to hear all about New York and your classes." Burt enthused, wrapping and arm around him son and helping him to carry some of his luggage out of the airport.

As much as Kurt loved New York, he was very glad to be home and seeing his dad. He had really missed his old man and he hadn't really realised how much until they were reunited with each other. He couldn't wait to spend some proper quality time with him, fixing cars up in the garage like they used to do after school.

XXXX

Kurt spent the evening telling Burt and Carole all about his school in New York and his classes and about how he was getting along with it all. He didn't really want to admit to them that he was struggling to make friends or that he had started into a relationship with someone that already had a girlfriend. He absolutely knew that neither Burt nor Carole would approve of that. He tried to stick away from any conversations about the friends that Kurt had made there so he simply said that he had found a groups of friends that were really supportive and that seemed to placate his father.

Kurt was tired from his early morning and late night and he could see that his father was getting tired too. Saving his father from having to admit that he needed to call it a night, Kurt told them all that he was feeling tired and that he was going to go to bed. He saw the look of relief that Carole shot him, knowing that Burt wouldn't have gone to bed early if Kurt was still awake.

Kurt decided to ring Blaine, because he wasn't entirely ready to go to bed and they hadn't talk all day. Blaine was still in New York for the day and would be heading out to Los Angeles tomorrow afternoon, after which Blaine and Kurt would have to work out what times would be the best time to call one another because of the time difference that they would have between them. They had both agreed to only call each other once a day at night and they would text throughout the day whenever it was possible for them to do so. Neither of them wanted to appear to clingy and make it look like they needed to constantly be in touch with each other. That was a bit too much pressure to put on their relationship and neither of them were willing to risk that.

His conversation with Blaine wasn't all that long as Kurt couldn't deny, he was pretty tired. Kurt had just wanted to let Blaine know that he was home safe and sound and that he wouldn't be available for any longer that night. Plus he didn't want to go to bed without telling Blaine that he loved him and hearing it in return.

XXXX

The next day the Hummel-Hudson family were up early again to go and collect Finn from the airport. Kurt was really looking forward to seeing his brother again. He missed the big lug if he was being honest. Finn's simple way of seeing the world was always something that Kurt could count on to cheer him up. True, he sometimes wonder how Finn would manage to function outside of high school when he didn't really have the most amazing brain power. Still he was smart in his own way and the way that he saw the world was a nice one, even though he had faced his own amount of terrible heartbreak. He still managed to always pick himself up and Kurt envied him that ability.

Kurt waited anxiously at the airport with Burt and Carole. Finn's flight had been a little delayed but had just landed and they were anxious to see if Finn was doing okay. He did phone Burt and Carole once a week but the conversations were always short and nothing was really said much about how Finn was really feeling about everything.

They were able to spot Finn in the crowd because of how tall he was and as soon as the tall teen saw them he hurried to push through the crowd so that he could hug each one of them individually. Kurt cherished his hug with his brother, remembering a time when Finn wouldn't have hugged him out of fear of being seen gay. Now Finn didn't care about that kind of thing. He had realised that there was nothing wrong with being seen as gay. He knew he was straight and anyone that really knew him or mattered knew that he was straight. Besides Kurt was his brother.

"How are you doing sweetie?" Carole asked, looking him over, checking to see if anything was out of place.

"I'm good mum. Starving though. What's for dinner?" Finn asked, showing that he really wasn't liking the food that the army base served.

"I thought we could go out to Breadstix. It's been a few month that we've all been together as a family. I'm glad to have all my boys back under one roof." Carole said, linking arms with Burt and Kurt as the group walked out to the car.

Finn looked very dashing in his army uniform and he was wearing it with pride. The reason he had joined the army was because of his dad. He wanted to do his birth father proud after he had been dishonourably discharged because of taking drugs which he later overdosed on and died, not giving Finn the chance to know who his dad was because Finn had only been a baby. Finn was also proud that he was doing something with his life. Throughout high school he had thought that he would get a scholarship so that he could play football professionally after being made the Quarterback for McKinley high school's football team when he was only in his Freshman year. He had been a very talented player and a great team leader. His leadership skills had come in useful in glee club as Rachel had dubbed him and her as the team leaders and he had proved himself countless times in that role as well. When his football scholarship dreams had fell through he hadn't really known what to do with himself, believing himself not to be good enough for anything. Kurt had managed to talk to him and get through to him, so that Finn changed his mind. Kurt however hadn't banked on him joining the army. But in the end, Finn was happy and that was what mattered the most.

They went back to the house and dropped Finn's massive rucksack of stuff off. Then they took it easy for a couple of hours. Finn and Burt sat down to watch one of the Buckeyes games that Burt had recorded so that Finn could watch them when he got home. Kurt sat in the living room with them flicking through some Vogue magazines while messaging Blaine. Carole was in the kitchen starting on all of Finn's washing that he had brought home with him.

It was nice to have the four of them all back home, going about their usual routines as if they hadn't spent any time away from home. Sure the conversations had changed. Finn was telling them about how well his training was going and that soon he was going to be put out on the field, not doing any actually fighting yet but assisting the men that were already out there.

Finn was really interested in Kurt's life in New York too and could instantly tell that Kurt wasn't telling them the full story. He didn't say anything in front of their parents though, opting to wait until he could talk to Kurt one-to-one. But he listened as Kurt talked excitedly about New York and all the wonders that it offered.

It took Finn a little while to work up the courage to ask Kurt about Rachel. He hadn't had any contact with her when he'd joined the army, choosing to tell her at the last possible minute, ruining all of their plans of them getting an apartment together. Finn really did love Rachel but he knew that New York was not a place for him. He was a small-town kind of guy and the hustle and bustle of a busy city like that was not something that Finn could see himself comfortable with. It would be a good place to visit but he couldn't imagine trying to live there and navigate a life there.

Kurt almost felt bad when he told Finn that he didn't really know much on the Rachel front. He saw the disheartened look that Finn got on his face because of it and really hated that he couldn't give him anything encouraging. The truth was that Finn and Rachel were two very different people and they would never live together in harmony unless one of them stepped down from their dreams, which neither of them wanted to do, and really neither of them should have ever done that.

"But hey, you'll be able to see her over the next few weeks. She's back home in Lima for Hanukkah." Kurt said, trying to give his brother an encouraging smile.

"Yeah, yeah." Finn said with a grin moving back to do whatever he had been doing previously.

It sucked that Kurt couldn't say much about Rachel. He didn't want to tell his step-brother about how much Rachel had changed over the little while that she had been in New York. Finn has seriously loved that girl, more so than she deserved sometimes, in Kurt's opinion. She didn't appreciate the love that Finn had for her and she had been very pushy with him. Sometimes it had been for the better. She had boosted his confidence and made him more likely to think for himself. But then she always seemed to be able to get what she wanted from him, which was the downside. Rachel had far too an expensive taste for Finn to be able to keep up with.

Burt had to have a nap halfway through the day, showing Kurt just how much his father's illness and treatment was affecting him. It wasn't like Burt Hummel to take a nap. The man had always preferred to stay busy, mostly in the garage where he spent a lot of his days working on cars. He had been thinking about running for Congress and he was to some extent still running and a lot of people supported him. It was mostly on the back burner and Kurt and Finn's old glee club and Spanish teacher, Will Schuester, was Burt's campaign manager and was handling most of the work at the moment. Burt was planning on being healthy enough to actually run soon enough and a lot of people were rooting for him in Lima, despite his stance on equal marriage and the rights of gay people. Kurt was so proud of his father, even if he was worried about his health and wellbeing.

After Burt had woken up from his nap which neither of the boy's said anything about, knowing that it would wound their father's pride, they all headed to Breadstix. The boys were welcomed warmly by the staff that remembered them from all the times that they had gone there during high school.

Kurt was surprised to see that his father was actually eating healthily and by his own choice. Normally whenever Kurt had insisted that his father eat healthily, Burt would always complain that it was rabbit food. Kurt was just glad that his father was taking his health seriously now. He wouldn't even know what to do with himself if he lost his dad. His dad had always been there, standing strong and being supportive of Kurt's dreams even though most of the time he didn't get them at all. You would never find a parent that was prouder than Burt Hummel was of his kids.

"So boys, now that we've got you both home, there was something that Carole and I wanted to talk to you both about."

Kurt narrowed his eyes wondering what on earth his father could be talking about. Finn didn't bother to make much of a deal about it, too engrossed with his burger. He did look towards them to make sure that they knew that they had his attention but that was all.

"We were thinking of having another baby." Burt announced simply.

Kurt's eyes widened comically, making Burt want to laugh. Finn started choking on the bite of burger that he had just taken and started coughing and spluttering. Carole started to whack Finn on the back, trying to dislodge the food that was choking him. Finn took a drink of water to clear his throat more and started to calm down from his choking fit.

"What do you mean, have a baby? You still do that kind of thing? Aren't you too old?"

Carole rolled her eyes and chuckled a little, placing a hand on Finn's arm.

"We're only going to try, it might not take. We thought you boys might like another little brother or sister. Someone cute to visit when you both come home from your gallivanting.' Carole explained.

While Kurt was a little shook up about the idea he was happy for them both. If that was something that they really wanted then he would be the best big brother he could be. It was a little weird though because for most of his life he had been an only child. He was only really just getting used to having Finn as a sibling. Finn would settle brilliantly into the role of big brother as he already loved being a brother to Kurt. Kurt on the other hand would have a hard time because he had no idea what children were like. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to have children one day. The whole prospect seemed a little daunting, he was ashamed to admit. What if his little brother or sister didn't like him but really liked Finn? That would be a real kick in the teeth.

"Well I'm already a big brother but I bet Kurt would be excited to be a big brother." Finn said, grinning.

"I'm older than you, Finn." Kurt reminded as Finn tended to see Kurt as his little brother because Kurt was shorter than him.

"Details." Finn said, brushing aside the comment.

"I assume you're waiting to do anything until my dad is better?" Kurt asked, not really wanting to know any specifics but anxious that Burt wouldn't be put under any more stress than he needed.

"Of course. My health comes first." Burt reassured his son.

Kurt smiled. "Then I have no qualms about it."

The rest of their meal continued with thankfully no one else choking on their food or revealing anything that might make someone choke on their food.

By the end of the evening it was clear that Burt was practically dead on his feet so both him and Carole called it a night and left the boys to their own devices.

Kurt and Finn headed into Finn's room and Kurt watched him play some game with shooting in it. Kurt didn't mind watching Finn play his games and had spent a lot of the summer months doing just that as they spent time with each other before the both of them went off to their various futures.

Finn always seemed to know that whenever Kurt came in to watch him while he was on the Xbox it meant that Kurt wanted to talk to him about something. All Finn had to do was be patient and Kurt would tell him what was on his mind in time. Finn would bet on it, that that was the reason that Kurt was in his room right now.

Sure enough all it took was ten minutes of Finn playing games and Kurt fiddling about on his phone before Kurt asked Finn if he could talk to him about something. They had a consensus that Finn would continue to play his game but he would listen to Kurt and try to help him in any way that he could.

"Hey, Finn. Can I talk to you about something?" Kurt asked, right on cue.

"Sure." Finn said, jabbing at the 'X' on his controller so that he could re-spawn his character.

"I've met someone in New York, a guy." Kurt clarified.

"This isn't gonna be one of those awkward conversations when we talk about gay sex is it because I don't wanna be talking to you about any kind of sex. You're my brother, dude." Finn said, making a face.

"Ugh, no Finn. It's nothing like that." Kurt said quickly.

"Okay then." Finn said, relaxing. "You can continue."

Kurt did, somewhat nervously. "This guy and I, we're together. Dating. But it's not that easy." Kurt admitted.

"What's wrong?" Finn asked, beginning to wonder whether his brother was getting abused or something.

"He, umm, he has a girlfriend at the same time as he's dating me." Kurt admitted quietly.

Finn whipped his head round quickly to look at Kurt. Kurt watched the screen as Finn's character died once again. Finn quickly quit out of the game and made Kurt give him his full attention.

"You wanna run that by me again?" Finn asked, hoping that he had heard wrong or something.

"Blaine, that's his name, has a girlfriend at the same time as he is dating me." Kurt said.

"Who was he dating first?"

"He was dating her." Kurt admitted, closing his eyes with shame and guilt.

"Why would you either enter into a relationship with someone if you knew that they were dating someone else?" Finn was wondering what had possessed his brother to have done something so stupid. Surely he had learnt from all of Finn's mistakes in high school.

"I love him, Finn." Kurt said, tears springing to his eyes as he was once again reminded why he was going against all of his morals.

Finn sighed, knowing how much Kurt had clung to the idea of love in high school. He knew how much love meant to Kurt. Kurt had always been determined to find love, the one that he was destined to be with. No one had wanted to burst the cruel bubble for him that the world didn't always work on love and while that might be his ideal of the world, a lot of other people saw the world as a meat sale and were only interested in satisfying their carnal desires. Kurt had never seen that side of things. If he'd had gone to the gay bar in Lima then he might have realised that a lot of guys only really wanted one thing while they were at that age. Kurt was an anomaly.

"Have you told Burt?" Finn asked, gently.

"No. He'd be so disappointed in me. We've always said that cheating is one of the most horrible things you can do because so many people get hurt when it comes to it. I just can't tell him what I'm doing."

"Well doesn't that say everything, Kurt? If you're too ashamed to tell your own father, who you talk to about everything, then surely it's something that you shouldn't be doing? It means that you know that it's wrong Kurt. Think of how much you could be hurting the girl that he is with. You might not know her and how much she feels for Blaine but that doesn't mean you shouldn't not try to think about her feelings."

Kurt lowered his head in shame. Of course Finn was telling him all the things that he already knew but it felt more real with someone else talking about them. Kurt had never wanted to hurt anybody, he just couldn't help who he had fallen in love with.

"I know that you love this guy. I mean, I don't doubt that for a second but you really need to think about the consequences of what you're doing. This is the kind of stuff that created all of those dramas in high school. The ones that you always wanted nothing to do with." Finn reminded his brother. "Just promise me that you will think about it." Finn said, knowing that Kurt probably didn't have the strength to call things off with this guy at the moment and it would probably be better to do it in person.

"I will." Kurt promised his brother.

He stood up shakily and made his way out of Finn's room as quickly as he could. He wanted nothing more than to snuggle up in his bed and cry. What Finn had said had rung true with him and thought he didn't really want to admit it he knew that his brother was right.

XXXX

Finn sighed after Kurt left his room. He couldn't believe that something like this was happening to his little brother. And where was Rachel while all of this was going on? Surely she should have been advising him against pursuing anything with this Blaine guy. Finn wondered how Kurt and Rachel's friendship was fairing in New York. He was well aware that they could have their tense moments and he wondered if that was something that had happened and that was why she wasn't advising him against this relationship.

Finn had some leave coming up before he was going to be going out on the field and he decided that going to New York to see how his brother was getting on would be his first port of call. Maybe he'd even get to know this Blaine guy and talk to him and ask him what the hell he thought he was playing at because Finn honestly wanted to know who this guy was that was making Kurt act so out of character. This was so unlike Kurt and Finn just wanted to make sure that Kurt was going to get hurt too badly. Sure he knew Kurt wasn't really his little brother but Finn still felt as if it were his duty to look after him. Maybe it was trying to make up for high school, he wasn't really sure. He just felt very protective over Kurt. Now at least he would be smart enough that he would forget about popularity and he would defend his brother until the end, no matter what the cost was.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is a bit late, I had slow internet last night and then I was a bit busy this morning and this afternoon. I hope you enjoy reading about Blaine's Christmas break!

Blaine sent one last message to Kurt, telling him that he wouldn't be able to talk for a bit because he would be up in the air, flying back to sunny Los Angeles where he would be spending Christmas with his family. He kind of couldn't wait to get back. He loved New York with all of his heart and especially the people that were in New York but for a while now he had been really wanting to talk to his brother, hoping to get his input on the situation with Kurt and Amy. Maybe if he had Cooper's backing then he wouldn't be so stuck in limbo like he was right now. He really didn't like the thought of hurting anyone. It wasn't like he was cheating on Amy for some kind of rush or anything like that. He had just fallen in love. Right person, wrong time and all the rest of those sayings.

When Blaine had been growing up Cooper had been an absolute pain in the backside. It had felt like the two brothers were always trying to compete with each other and Blaine being ten years younger than his brother meant that he often lost in the competitions. It had caused some resentment on Blaine's behalf. Now that Blaine looked back on it he realised how stupid he had been growing up. Cooper had never really wanted to best him, he had always tried to make sure that Blaine was performing the best that he could. He had always believed that his little brother would go far and he wanted to push Blaine so that he went even further. Blaine hadn't seen that till recently.

He'd only really realised that fact when Cooper had suddenly decided to quit his dream of being an actor, after he had appeared in some small roles on television and even in some movies. Cooper told Blaine that he had always been expected to go into the family business and no one had really been happy when he had taken a complete different route for his life. That was why Blaine had been pushed so much into going into the family business when they realised that Cooper would probably never take any interest in the family business.

Blaine had been a bit suspicious when his mother and father had suddenly turned around and completely changed their minds, saying that Blaine could do whatever he choose to pursue in life. It wasn't until it was revealed that Cooper was going to join the company. Blaine would be forever indebted to Cooper for it. He had never wanted to go into the company just like Cooper and thanks to Cooper it meant that Blaine could try to go after his dreams.

Of course, Blaine didn't know that Cooper's going to work in the family business wasn't completely selfless. Truthfully, Cooper had fallen on some hard times. He wasn't getting any acting jobs and he was starting to seriously run low on funds, so much so that he was starting to rack up a lot of debt. Cooper had come back to his parents asking for help to get out of the debt and they had said that they would help him if he decided to go into the family business. Cooper didn't really have much choice after that.

Cooper couldn't complain though. Really it was that best thing that he had ever done. Because of the business Cooper had met the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen. She was called Skye and she was smart and witty and knew exactly how to handle Cooper. She was a hit with their family immediately. Skye and Cooper had been dating for over a year now and they were absolutely besotted with each other.

Blaine relaxed on his flight, trying to work out how he would explain everything to Cooper. It was hard to sort out the whole jumble that everything had become. He knew that the most important thing that Cooper needed to know was how much Blaine loved Kurt. Nothing else but that mattered so much. He just really hoped that his brother would understand and not judge him. He assumed that Cooper was alright with gay people, though Blaine couldn't really be sure about who was after Amy's outburst. What if Blaine found out that there was so much more hate in the world? What if it started getting directed at him because of who he loved? Blaine couldn't really say what would happen because he had yet to really encounter any.

Blaine briefly worried that Cooper might tell their parents about Blaine and Kurt. He didn't really want his parents finding out just in case. He had no clue what their stance was but if it was a negative one than Blaine really didn't want to lose his parents. While they weren't very overly loving, they were still his parents and Blaine loved them. Blaine wouldn't know what to do if he had to choose between his family and Kurt. That would be an impossible choice.

When Blaine's plane landed in the airport he was met by a car that his parents had sent to pick him up. He was used to stuff like this knowing that his parents were very busy people and didn't have much time to pick him up from the airport. The car would probably take him to his father's building where his father would greet him fondly. He wouldn't see his mother until a little later in the day when they all had returned home for the day. Cooper was living in the same house as they had grown up in with their parents so Blaine knew he'd be seeing Cooper soon, if not even sooner as Blaine wasn't quite sure where about in the company that Cooper worked.

The car pulled up outside of his father's building and Blaine jumped out, leaving his luggage behind, knowing that it would get back to the house alright and probably even out into his old room. Blaine greeted his father's secretary with his charming smile which had her eyelashes fluttering at him. She had had a crush on him for a few years now but it was the rules of the company that you could date any of the other staff. Unless of course you were Cooper and completely defied that rule. Blaine was still amazed that his parents had allowed Cooper and Skye to be together because Skye had worked in the accounting department of the company for a few years before Cooper had even got there and they certainly hadn't been dating before Cooper had gotten the job.

The secretary waved Blaine into his father's office with a sweet smile and Blaine thanked her nicely. His father, Devon Anderson, was sat behind his desk scribbling something on a piece of paper. He looked up when Blaine walked in and smiled when he saw his son. He had really missed Blaine, more than his son would probably ever realise that he did.

No one knew but Devon had a very soft spot for his son. He couldn't be more proud of Blaine who was working hard to try to achieve his dreams and Devon had every confidence in him. He knew that Blaine was going to go far and he was very willing to help him through anything in order for him to have the best future. Everyone always assumed that he was a very strict father, probably Blaine and Cooper both thought that. They didn't realise how much he loved his children and how much he wanted what was best for both of them.

The truth was that Devon Anderson was actually a very soft man in everything except business. Business was his passion and he couldn't pretend that he wasn't good at it. He was very, very good at it. The company had been passed down to him from his own father, Gregory Anderson.

Now Gregory Anderson was truly a strict man. He was harsh and had a temperament that was quickly angered. Gregory had always thought that Devon was very wishy washy with his children and had tried to convince him to be more firm with Kurt and Blaine. It was him that had the idea of making Cooper come back to the family business when he was having his money problems. It was him who wanted Blaine to be a part of the company too, obviously not taking it over, because Cooper would be doing that but at least being somewhere in the family business. He had been furious when Blaine had been allowed to go off to New York and study Music Composition, something that Gregory Anderson saw as something for the 'softer' man.

Blaine had been terrified of his father when he had been growing up, going so far as to even have nightmares about him. Thankfully as Blaine grew his grandfather became a bit less scary but Blaine still never wanted to cross him. He could be a real force to be dealt with and that was something that Blaine wasn't brave enough to face.

Devon stood up and walked round his desk to gather his son into a hug. Blaine grabbed him back, letting himself be hugged by his father. He really had missed his dad.

"So how's being back in New York?" Devon asked, going back to sit in his seat and indicating that Blaine should sit in the chair opposite him.

"So far so good. I'm feeling pretty confident about this year. I've already written quite a few good pieces that my teachers have seemed to enjoy." Blaine smiled happily, glad that he could give his father some good news.

"That's my boy." Devon said, smiling proudly. "So, we're having a large family dinner tonight. Cooper wanted all of us to get together. I think this might be the night that he finally pops the question." Devon said excitedly.

"You think he's going to propose." Blaine asked, not really sure if that was something that his brother. He supposed that it had been a while since he had talked to his brother so really anything could be happening in their different lives and Blaine probably wouldn't even know till the last minute. Just look at Blaine's whole situation with Kurt. None of his family had any clue that he was bisexual let alone dating a boy while he was still dating Amy, someone who had been all too easily welcomed into the family which had made Blaine happy at the time until he realised that it was all about business partnerships that he had known nothing about.

"I do. He and Skye have been very close lately and I think that Cooper really wants to start a life with her but he wants to be married before they move in with each other or anything. He knows he has it quite easy at home." Devon laughed.

"Well in that case I can't wait. Though Skye is way too good for that loser." Blaine said, teasingly, which luckily his father knew.

"Cooper's a lucky man." Devon agreed. "Speaking of lucky men, how are you and Amy doing?"

Blaine frowned involuntarily at the question but quickly wiped it off his face, trying to look more neutral. "We're good." he said simply.

Devon wasn't a stupid man. He had seen the drop in his son's face and wondered what was going on. He had always just assumed that Blaine was happy with Amy. They had all met the girl and while Devon hadn't thought that she was exactly Blaine's type he seemed to be happy with her and that was the main thing. He wondered why Blaine would continue to date her if they weren't happy together. He didn't want to get too involved in case it made Blaine angry with him. He didn't really want to get too involved in his son's love lives. His father had gotten involved in his when he was young and he had always resented that. Devon didn't want to be the same kind of father as his had been.

"I'm glad you're happy, son." He said, watching Blaine carefully for any reaction to the comment but the mask that Blaine sometimes wore was firmly in place and he made no reaction to the comment.

"So how's business?" Blaine asked after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.

Devon smiled lightly, hiding his disappointment that his son wouldn't confide in him about anything. "Booming as usual. But enough of that. Let's head back home. Your mother should be home from work and Cooper is just going to go and pick up Skye and then we should all be ready for dinner tonight."

"Is it Melly's casserole?" Blaine asked referring to the cook that his parents hired.

"Only the best for my son's homecoming." Devon grinned at his soon, wrapping a friendly arm around his shoulder, walking them both outside to the car.

XXXX

Mary-Anne Anderson was not like her husband at all. She wasn't what someone would call a maternal woman. She loved her sons but she would never want to coddle them. She made sure from an early age that they were aware of how unjust the world could be.

She was a woman that loved to be in control and had brutally made her way to the top in business, easily crushing the competition around her. She and Gregory Anderson got along handsomely. Gregory had been the one to introduce Devon and Mary-Anne and they had soon married and had Cooper within the first year. She had only planned on having Cooper, not really wanting any other children. They weren't really needed as they had a son to pass the business on to. Blaine had been a drunken mistake. She had had too much to drink during an office party and Devon and her had had unprotected sex resulting in Blaine being conceived. Devon had convinced her to keep the baby as she hadn't really wanted it at the time. Devon seriously didn't believe in abortion and so Mary-Anne had kept the baby.

Mary-Anne had never really had time for either of her kids. They had both grown up with a nanny looking after them so that she could continue to climb the business ladder until she had practically surpassed her husband in skill. Unfortunately the family business was passed down through the Anderson men otherwise Mary-Anne would have been fully willing to make the company her own. Instead she had a joint venture on the side which she used the Anderson name to boost her clientèle. That business was doing amazingly well and was her proudest accomplishment.

It was clear who was running the show between her and Devon and everyone could see it.

As they all gathered around the dinner table that night it was clear to see the power structure just in the places that they all sat on the table. Gregory Anderson was at the head of the table with his son sat at his right hand side. Mary-Anne was opposite him sat the other side of Gregory. Cooper was placed next to his mother and Skye was sat next to him. Blaine sat next to his father. Sometimes when they were all sat down for dinner Blaine felt like an outsider.

Dinner was always a quiet affair unless they were talking about business. That was mainly Gregory, Mary-Anne and Devon that did the talking though as Cooper was getting hang of the business more and more, he increasingly began to join in with the discussions. Blaine was always very excluded from that kind of conversation, knowing nothing about business and having no part in the family business. Skye tended to keep out of that conversation whenever it was going on so she and Blaine tended to have silent conversations across the table that went ignored by everyone else.

"Before we talk business, Skye and I have an announcement to make." Cooper said, a large grin on his face.

Devon bumped his leg against Blaine's giving him a knowing look.

"We're engaged!" Cooper said excitedly. "We've yet to set a date for the wedding but we're thinking in the spring. We want to get married as soon as possible."

"That's fantastic, Cooper." Mary-Anne said, giving her son a kiss on the cheek and smiling toward Skye.

"Congratulations you two." Devon said, smiling happily.

Cooper reached across to Blaine and gave him a fist bump making his younger brother smile. He was really pleased for his older brother who it had seemed like he wouldn't ever settle down. Skye was really the best thing that had ever happened to him.

"I was hoping you'd be my best man, Squirt." Cooper said, using his endearing but annoying nickname that he had for Blaine.

"You bet." Blaine said.

Cooper looked even happier after hearing that Blaine would be his best man. "Amy can be a bridesmaid if you want."

Again Devon saw that way that his son's face dropped a little bit before his smile was regained and he politely nodded. This time Cooper saw the way his brother behaved and shot a confused look to their father, asking what was wrong. All Devon could do was shrug because he had no clue.

XXXX

Blaine felt a little bit sick every time that Amy was mentioned. It was clear that his family assumed that she was going to be around for a while and there was no way that Blaine could tell them that he didn't love her and didn't want to be with her anymore. It was impossible without upsetting all of them. Blaine always felt like he could do nothing right and this was further clarifying that thought. What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he accept that Amy was all he was going to get? He would never be able to hold onto something as perfect as Kurt.

Blaine acted all mature and confident when he was in New York but the truth was whenever he spent time with his family he felt like he was a little kid again and that nothing he had to say mattered to them. Of course he knew that wasn't entirely the case. He knew his father always tried to get through to him and he knew that Cooper was always there for him. His grandfather and mother on the other hand made Blaine feel like an awkward child. He wondered if he would ever be enough for them.

There was no way that they would accept him being in a relationship with Kurt. He was dreaming if he thought that they ever would. And fuck did that hurt. Blaine couldn't ever imagine having to say goodbye to Kurt but he knew that one day he would have to. Truthfully the thought made him want to cry, which he knew he wouldn't be able to while he was sat at the table with his family. He didn't need to give anyone anymore ammunition.

For a second Blaine wondered if he should even bother telling his brother. What was the point at the end of the day? But he still wanted to talk it through with someone. He wanted someone that was on his side. Sam wasn't really on his side and Kurt had Santana. He wanted his own person that would support him and tell him to go for it with Kurt. He really hoped that that person would be Cooper. He supposed that he'd never know until he tried. Cooper tended to be an understanding guy and he knew that Cooper wouldn't tell anyone except Skye if Blaine told him something in confidence.

He'd tell him later tonight after dinner. The sooner the better really. He couldn't keep this hanging over him.

XXXX

Blaine had his chance later that evening. He was hanging his clothes up in his closet ready for the holiday season when Cooper tapped on the bedroom door and came in before Blaine could say anything. He perched on the end of Blaine's bed and watched as Blaine finished emptying his suit case. When Blaine had finished he sat on his bed near his pillows, waiting for Cooper to say something.

"So I'm sensing that there is an issue with the girlfriend situation." Cooper said, gently.

Blaine snorted a laugh, not really in the mood. "You could say that."

"So what's going on Blaine?"

"I'm cheating on her." Blaine burst out quickly.

Cooper looked at his brother shocked. That was kind of the last thing that he would have ever expected. He knew that his brother was a romantic and didn't think that Blaine would ever be unfaithful.

"So I'm guessing that you love the girl more than you love Amy." Cooper reasoned, assuming that would be the only reason that his brother did something like that.

"I love him more than I love Amy, yes." Blaine said, making sure that the 'him' was perfectly understood.

Cooper looked absolutely stunned now. Of all the things, he would never have expected his little brother to be gay. He had always dated girls before and seemed to have a way with the ladies that left them swooning at his charm.

"So you're gay now?"

"No. I'm bisexual. Always have been. This is the first time I've ever actually been in love and it's with a guy." Blaine clarified trying to save Cooper from a few more questions.

Cooper thought it over for a while. It was obvious that his brother was having a hard time dealing with this. Clearly he didn't have a problem with the fact that he was bisexual if he was fully admitting to having been bisexual forever. Cooper had to assume it was about the fact that he was cheating.

"So why don't you just break up with Amy and be official with this guy?"

"It's not that simple, Coop!" Blaine burst out angrily, not understanding how his brother couldn't be getting this. "Our family will never stand for me dating Kurt. Could you imagine the scandal? Plus the business that dad would lose from Amy's father when I dump her for a man. I'd never be allowed."

"How do you know? Sure the thing about Amy and her father's business is true but dad loves you. You're the apple of his eye. There is no way that he wouldn't support you if that was who you truly were and that was what made you the happiest."

"I don't know if I could risk it. I love Kurt. I know that for a fact. But I'm not ready to lose my family."

"You would never lose your family, Squirt. I wouldn't let that happen. I know dad would be understanding and be on your side and you will always have Skye and I. Mum and granddad might not be as supportive but they would just have to get over it." Cooper said. "If he is who you love then nothing should get in the way of that. You only get one true and first love Blaine. Don't let yours slip away from you."

"I'll try Coop. I'm just not confident enough yet."

"Well you best get things figured out by my wedding. I will be expecting to meet my future brother-in-law there." Cooper winked at Blaine, making the teen blush more than he ever had before.

He didn't deny it though. One day, if it were possible, Blaine would marry Kurt. He couldn't imagine anything better than marrying him and raising a family together. He had never really thought about that kind of stuff before. It had always been a kind of abstract but now there was a substance to his dreams. Thinking about the future with Kurt never failed to make Blaine smile.

XXXX

"Blaine!" A girl with light blonde hair and warm brown eyes called from across the street.

Blaine instantly smiled at the sound of her voice, knowing exactly who it belonged to. Sitting outside of a coffee shop was Rosie, wearing her same old skinny jeans with a blouse and a blazer hung on the back of her chair. Looking across at her Blaine realised just how much he missed her when he was in New York and they couldn't physically go and see each other. When Blaine got to the other side of the road he grabbed her up in a hug and spun her around before setting her back on her chair.

"Rosie! How have you been? I've missed you a ton!" Blaine exclaimed taking a seat opposite her.

"You know me, I can't complain. I've been busy, busy, busy though. College is really putting me through the ringer, though that's probably the same for you, right mister?" Rosie gave a little laugh.

"I dunno about that. I'm not the one studying to become a lawyer. My course is really just like doing something that I love, it doesn't really seem like work at all. Especially because I have been writing songs for years now."

"Some people have all the luck." Rosie teased, sipping her coffee. "So what's been going on with you? I couldn't help but notice that you haven't been in touch as much lately, you always seem so busy and whenever we do talk, you're distracted or have to run off."

"Yeah, sorry about that." Blaine fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

"Still with number one bitch?"

"Umm, yeah kinda." Blaine knew that she was talking about Amy and he didn't correct her about the mean name.

"Wait, what do you mean, kinda?" Rosie was intrigued.

Rosie had hated Amy from the very moment that Blaine announced that he was dating her and the dislike was mutual. Amy of course hated Rosie because the history that she and Blaine shared between each other. She was convinced that there was still something going on between them because she couldn't understand how two exs could still be friends after a break-up and especially because Blaine had lost his virginity to Rosie. Amy was convinced that Rosie was still after Blaine, although that couldn't be further from the truth. Rosie saw Blaine as more of a brother now, there was no awkwardness between them and they knew everything about each other. It wasn't Rosie's fault that Amy couldn't handle her jealousy, although Rosie did like to provoke her sometimes, but it was so easy to do and Rosie got a lot of enjoyment out of it.

"I'm not in love with her. And what's more, I'm starting to think that I never was." Blaine admitted.

"And how did you come to discover that?" Rosie asked gently.

Knowing that Blaine was a hopeless romantic, Rosie decided to treat this conversation with care and not the usual sarcastic-ness that she often used when she was talking to Blaine. Something big must have happened for Blaine to come to the conclusion that he had.

"I've fallen in love. Completely and utterly and it feels like it's the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"I've gotta meet this girl." Rosie said, giving Blaine a smile and putting a reassuring hand on his arm.

"It's not a girl. It's a guy." Blaine admitted, waiting to see what Rosie's reaction would be.

"Oh." Rosie said, looking stunned. "I didn't know that you liked guys at all."

"I only realised that I was bisexual last year when I got a crush on that guy, Sam, that I told you about. He was straight but he was very gracious about the crush that I had on him. He said that he was flattered by it. I never acted on it after that and then I started dating Amy and our families met and everything for my future seemed set in stone. But then... Then I met the most amazing person that I've ever have the privilege of meeting and I knew that what I had with Amy is nothing."

"So, you're dating this guy?"

"Yeah, his name is Kurt and I really think that you'd love him. He's so sweet and funny. I love him, for all that he is and all that he isn't. If I could I would spend the rest of my life with him."

"But you can't?" Rosie questioned. "You're still dating Amy, while you're with this Kurt, dude?"

"Yeah, my parents would be so disappointed in me if I dumped Amy. The relationship has brought my family a lot of business and I'm fully expected to marry Amy and pop out some kids before failing in my music writing career and returning to the family business. They don't even know that I'm bisexual and there is no way that they would accept that if I told them. I want a future with Kurt so bad but I don't think that it is really going to be a possibility at this point." Blaine said sadly.

"If you've never spoken to you're parents about the LGBT community then how do you know how they would feel about it? For all you know that could be very supportive. And I'm sure your happiness would mean more to them than making marriage related business deals."

"You'd think that, but I'm not so sure. Can we talk about something else please? Any boys caught your fancy?" Blaine asked steering the conversation away from him.

Rosie thought about pressing the matter more but she could see how upset it was making Blaine so she decided to let it lie for now.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that I didn't post this chapter on Saturday, I got ridiculously busy. It's calmed down now though so you can expect the next chapter to be with you on Saturday! Hope you're all well!

Kurt was sad to be going back to New York. He had really missed his dad, Carole and Finn and while he really hated Ohio, he really loved his family. At the same time as being sad to go back, he was also happy because he would be able to see Blaine again. Calls and texts just didn't match up with actually seeing a person.

However, talking with Finn had really given Kurt some food for thought. He had no clue where his relationship could go while Blaine was still with Amy. Kurt didn't want to be seen as clingy or needy but it was really difficult. Sneaking around was exhausting. Not really being able to express his love for his boyfriend was even harder. Whenever they hung out together in a group it was so hard to keep himself away from Blaine and to make it appear that they were nothing more than friends. Close friends but friends none the less.

Kurt knew that something had to change. He was becoming miserable. He loved Blaine with all of his being but he needed to protect himself. There was a very good chance that all of this could end badly for him and he'd be left with nothing and Blaine would go off and marry his girlfriend to make his family happy. What would Kurt do then? When he had spent all of his dating life with someone that he couldn't have a future with? His heart hurt to think of what he had to do. He couldn't go on like this, it was starting to hurt too much. When he next saw Blaine he would tell him that this just wasn't working out anymore.

XXXX

Blaine couldn't get back to New York. He loved his family, don't get him wrong but sometimes it could be stifling. His grandfather was always making jibes at him because of his choice of study and the fact that he didn't want to go into the family business. Blaine hated it. He also hated that his own father wasn't brave enough to stick up for him when it came to Gregory Anderson's belittling comments and that of his mother's.

Seeing Cooper had been amazing though. Spending time with him and Skye was great and he could see how amazing his brother's relationship was. Before Skye he had been a bit of a rat when it came to girls, never sticking with one for more than a week, sometimes even just a night. Cooper, though, had given up the life of one-night stands in favour for love and it was something really beautiful. Blaine couldn't have been prouder or more happy for his brother.

Cooper had told Skye about Blaine's situation, needing to talk it through with someone. Blaine didn't mind. He knew it was something that needed a bit of processing. For all Cooper had know Blaine had never showed any interest in boys and now suddenly he was in love with one. Skye had been very helpful when it came to guiding Blaine about the situation he was in. She had told him that he needed to do something. He couldn't keep stringing Kurt and Amy along. Of course he had already knew that but hearing it from someone else was harder to hear. Skye had once been in a similar position that Kurt was in now with Blaine. She had been "the other woman". She had believed the guy she was with when he told her that he would leave his wife so that he could be with Skye. It had never happened, instead Skye had found out that not only did he have a wife but he also had two kids. She had never wanted to split up a family and while she loved him, she had walked away from him. It was the best thing that she could have done but at the time it had broken her heart.

Hearing things from what would be Kurt's perspective really hit Blaine. All the while he had felt that it was hard on him because he was the one that was leading two lives as such. He didn't imagine that it would be as hard for Kurt because he wasn't potentially hurting the person being cheated on. But in some ways it was harder. The guilt over something that Kurt couldn't do much about. He hadn't chosen to fall in love with someone that was already taken and Blaine shouldn't have really pushed him into it.

Blaine needed to make things right. For him and for Kurt. He needed to end things with Amy before he did anymore damage.

XXXX

Kurt heard the knock at his door and instantly knew who it was. His heart leapt, even if his mind was whirling with confused thoughts that wouldn't shut up. He opened the door with a smile though and pulled Blaine inside. Blaine instantly wrapped his arms around Kurt and they stood together, both of them relishing the feel of each other's arms holding them. There was nothing better. For that moment everything else was forgotten, all that remained was a feeling of complete bliss and love.

Kurt reluctantly pulled himself away from Blaine. Oh, how he loved this man but oh, how it hurt. "Tell me about your winter break?" Kurt asked.

"Sure." Blaine said.

They settled on the bed and Blaine told Kurt about his time in L.A. and about how Blaine had told his brother about Kurt. It made Kurt so happy to know that Blaine had told someone about them and their relationship, without being forced into it the way that he had been with Sam. The part of him that was recalling Finn's words, however, made him think that he shouldn't be getting excited about something like Blaine actually revealing their relationship to someone.

This was all so confusing for Kurt.

"What about you? How was Ohio?" Blaine asked, gently rubbing his fingers across Kurt's hand, loving the soft feel of Kurt's pale skin.

"It was Ohio. I never realised how much I missed my family until I returned home. Part of me didn't want to leave and come back." Kurt admitted shyly, hoping Blaine wouldn't take it as to say that he didn't want to come back to New York to him.

Blaine nodded his head in understanding. "Don't worry Kurt, we've all been there. You don't realise how much you miss them in the first term because there is so much going on to keep you busy, meeting new friends and discovering new places with your studies on top of that. It gets easier though. This place will become more like home, you just have to give it time. You're here though. A lot of people don't make it past the first hurdle."

Kurt was glad to know that he wasn't the only one to feel like that. He had thought that maybe he was just being childish. But Kurt was determined that when classes started back up again in a couple of days, he would make some more friends and involve himself in extracurricular activities. While he loved Blaine and the friends he had made through him, Kurt knew it was probably best that he made some friends from his own year as Blaine and everyone else were in the year above and would be moving on a year sooner than Kurt would. He didn't want to be completely alone when that time came.

XXXX

The weekend after the first week back at classes saw the whole group meeting at the Hangout and catching up with each other. It was a comedy night and there were a lot of acts performing jokes on stage, some funny and some juts plain awful. The group, didn't really listen to that, preferring to discuss what they did over Christmas. It was now that Kurt learnt a lot about everyone's home lives, having never knew anything like that before.

Everyone seemed really happy to be back. Santana was especially happy to have Kurt back, not that she would ever admit that. She and Kurt had become really close and she classed Kurt as her best friend. She had still yet to fully open up to him but she knew that she would soon. He was easy to talk to and didn't ever seem to be very judgemental. Kurt was someone that Santana could trust, and she didn't tend to trust easily.

Blaine and Kurt were sat next to each other on the couch. The only contact they had with each other was the feel so each other's thighs. They were both itching for more contact but of course that couldn't happen while they were out in public. The thought made Kurt want to scowl. But he loved Blaine and if this was what he had to do then so be it.

Why was it getting harder to keep reminding himself of that?

A girl's head appeared between Kurt and Blaine's making Kurt jerk away.

"Hey baby? Did you miss me over Christmas? I really missed you." The girl said  _to Blaine._

Kurt's brain stopped working as he realised who this girl was. This was Amy, Blaine's girlfriend. Kurt had never met her before, or even seen her. She didn't look like the kind of girl that he had imagined would be Blaine's girlfriend. He had imagined someone that would have a similar personalty to him, assuming that he was Blaine's type. Kurt instantly knew that he and this girl were not at all similar.

"Hey, gayby, can you move? I wanna sit next to my boyfriend." Kurt shook himself out of his thoughts and became aware that Amy was talking to him.

A little dazed, Kurt got up from his seat and she slid in next to Blaine, instantly wriggling into his side. Kurt stood still for a second, not quite knowing what to do before Santana grabbed him and forced him to sit on her lap.

"Amy?!" Mercedes said scandalised. "Don't call him that! His name is Kurt."

"Oops, sorry Kurt." Amy said, although everyone could see that the apology was fake.

Kurt's eyes met Blaine's. Blaine had a fear in his eyes and he looked very apologetically at Kurt. Kurt could feel his own eyes watering and he knew that he needed to get out of there quickly.

"You wanna get out of here, Hummel?" Santana whispered and Kurt jerked his head in a nod.

They both stood up and Santana announced that they were leaving, giving some made up excuse. They all said their goodbyes and then Kurt and Santana headed outside to the cold New York street. It was only outside that Kurt felt like he could breath again. Standing outside the door, Kurt bent down resting his hands on his knees and promptly vomited on the side of the road.

He didn't remember much after that but somehow he ended up back at his dorm room, laid in bed with Santana who held him as his body racked with sobs.

XXXX

At one o'clock in the morning, Kurt, who had cried himself to sleep, was awoken by a knocking on the door to his room. He got out of bed and wiped his eyes. He knew who would be at the door.

Sure enough Blaine stood at the door and he instantly tried to hold Kurt and take him back into his room. Kurt blocked the way into his room though, and shrugged Blaine's arms from him. He saw the hurt look on Blaine's face but he had to stay strong about this.

"Kurt I'm so sorry. I didn't know that she would turn up there." Blaine apologised profusely.

"It doesn't even matter. What are we doing Blaine? This was never going to work." Kurt said, resigned now.

"What are you saying?! Kurt, I love you! I have never felt this way before." Blaine said loudly, not caring that they were in the corridor and anyone could hear them. "I'm going to leave her, I am. I'm going to do it soon, you have to believe me."

Kurt's tears started flowing again. "I can't do this anymore Blaine. It hurts too much. You ask me to believe you and I just can't anymore."

"Kurt, no! Please, don't do this. I love you, I need you!" Blaine started crying too as he realised what was happening.

"I can't." Kurt sobbed, before going back into his room and closing the door on Blaine who was still stood outside in tears.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone still there? Hi!
> 
> Okay, big apology and grovelling time. I'm so sorry that this has taken me so long to get it up. Long story short, I got really ill and there were days when I couldn't even get out of bed and looking at a screen felt like someone was stabbing my eyeballs. I have never felt so bad in my entire life. I can't apologise enough. I'm better now though and I'm hoping I will never do that to you guys again. To those of you that are still here though, thank you and I really appreciate you patience.
> 
> Thank you to all the people that show interest in this story and thank you for all the reviews that you leave me, I will be replying to those today! You all rock and don't let anyone tell you different!

It had only been a couple of days after Kurt had ended things with Blaine and it felt like the whole world was over and that he couldn't breath at all. Of course he could breath and the world was still turning. This must have been how it feels to lose your first love. Kurt had missed two days of classes, having not even gotten out of bed, except to use the bathroom and when he got so hungry that he felt faint. He just wanted the world to stop for a minute.

XXXX

Finn dialled a number that he hadn't in a while. He wondered if Rachel was still pissed at him for tricking her into going New York by herself when they really should have been getting married. Finn felt bad that things had had to go that way but he knew that what Rachel needed was New York and if her Facebook was anything to go by, she was having an amazing time there. Gone was the Rachel that Finn knew in high school, instead she had been replaced by a beautiful young woman. Still he was sure that she was probably the same Rachel that he knew and loved.

He waited while the phone rang a couple of times before she picked up.

"I don't even know why I'm answering the phone to you." Rachel said, instead of saying hello.

Finn was momentarily blind-sided by ther frosty reception from Rachel, but he really needed to talk to her so he pressed on.

"Hi Rachel. How are you?" He asked, wanting to be polite.

"I'm good, no thanks to you. Let's cut the crap, Finn. Why are you phoning me?" Part of Rachel hoped that it was because Finn wanted her back. Of course she still held a flame for him. He was her first love and the person that she had thought she would spend the rest of her life with. It hadn't planned out that way but maybe, just maybe, it still could. She didn't want to appear desperate though, he had a lot of making up to do.

"I need to talk to you about Kurt. He's dating that Blaine guy while the dude is also dating a girl and everyone thinks he's straight. I need someone to look out for him. I don't have any more leave from the army for a while otherwise I would come and look at things myself." Finn explained.

"Wait, what?!" Oh my god! I'm going right over there now!" Rachel exclaimed, not having heard much of what Finn said, past the revelation.

"Can you let me know what's going on?" Finn asked.

"Yeah sure. Bye." Rachel hung up the phone and quickly went to Kurt's room next door.

She hammered on the door but got no answer. Letting out a irritated huff, she called out his name and still she got no answer. As a last ditch effort, Rachel tried the handle of the door and it opened. Kurt's room looked the same as usual, nothing had rteally changed much since she had helped him move in apart from the papers that had increased on his desk. Looking towards the bed she could see the covers shaking and sniffles coming from it.

"Kurt, it's Rachel. You have some explaining to do." Rachel said, moving over to the bed, sitting on the edge and pulling back the covers. Underneath was a visibly upset Kurt, his eyes looking red and sore with tears that were still falling. His hair was a mess and he was wearing the sweats and t-shirt that he wore to bed.

All that Kurt did was sniffle in reply, his eyes didn't even move to look towards Rachel, they were fixed firmly over at the wall that held his shelf full of books and photographs that he had. Rachel glanced over to it but couldn't see any of Kurt and Blaine, except for ones where they have been taken in a group shot.

"Finn called and said that you've been dating Blaine Anderson, heart throb of NYU, on the sly. No one even knew that he was gay! Why didn't you say anything Kurt? You know you could have talked to me about this."

The door opened and Rachel briefly hoped that it was Blaine.

"No me gusta! Get out of here now. My boy doesn't need you crawling around him right now." Santana said.

"Wait, did you know that he was dating Blaine?" Rachel asked, shocked.

"I'm his best friend, of course he confided in me." Santana said smugly. "Wait, how do you know about that?"

"Finn told me." Rachel shrugged off Santana's comment about being best friends with Kurt.

"Whatever, this is me, officially kicking you out of his room. You haven't been here before when he needed you so you can't come in here now for all the juicy details. Get lost Berry before I throw you out, and don't think I will."

Rachel stood up from the bed and stood in front of Santana, and for a second Santana wondered if she was actually going to lash out at her. She seemed to think better of it though and she left.

XXXX

Santana pulled the covers completely off of Kurt. She knew that he was hurting but he couldn't mope forever. He needed to get up and get moving and not let this thing with Blaine destroy him.

"C'mon, up Hummel. I've given you a couple of days but now you need to get your ass into gear. You need to show that boy what he's missing. It's his hard luck if he can't find the balls to break up with that hoe, not yours." Then a little gentler Santana said "I know you loved him and first loves never really go away but you have to pick yourself up eventually and the sooner the better."

Kurt sniffled, and used the sleeve of his t-shirt to wipe the tears from his eyes, the first sign of movement that Santana had seen since he had called her in tears two days ago. "It hurts."

"I know it does but believe me, it will be okay." Santana said, recalling her own experiences. "Right, c'mon, up and get moving. Shower and put some clean clothes on and then you and I can go grab a coffee."

Kurt nodded and made to sit up, his muscles protesting having been in the same position for a long time. The shower did make him feel a bit better. It eased some of the tension that his body felt and he definitely felt a lot cleaner. He'd never gone so long without washing or doing his skin care routine.

While he was showering, Kurt remembered that Rachel had come round and was asking about him and Blaine. Now that he was thinking a little clearer he was anxious that Rachel might open her big mouth and tell someone about him and Blaine. Not that there was a 'him and Blaine' any more. And that thought brought on another round of tears. Kurt hated this, feeling this way, feeling absolutely heartbroken. A part of him wondered how Blaine was taking the break-up but he knew he'd be a crying mess right back on his bed again if he thought about Blaine too much.

Why did this have to hurt so much?

XXXX

Blaine lashed out at the punching bag in the gym, not caring that his hands were aching and were soon going to bruised and bleeding but he really couldn't care less. He was so pissed off and angry at himself. He had lost the best thing that had ever happened to him because of his stupidity.

Now that he really thought about it, he didn't even know why he was still with Amy. Forget his family and the stupid business. Why couldn't he be happy? Why did he have to care so much about what other people thought. The only person he should really care about their opinion was himself and the person that he loved. He loved Kurt and it was only really now that he realised just how much he loved him. It was bigger than anything that he had ever felt before. It made him want to forget about everything else. Say to hell with all the things that had been holding him back.

Something that he should have done before.

But Blaine had a plan. And he had already put it into action. That morning he had gone to a new bank and had made himself an account which he had then transferred all of his savings to. His savings were money that he had gotten from his family and from shares that he actually owned in the family business. He'd made the new account in case his family did reject him when they found out about him and his sexuality. Doing that meant that he had some money behind him if they decided to cut off his allowance.

The next step was one that Blaine the most nervous. He had to break up with Amy. He couldn't think of a way to do it. Did he mention that there was someone else? Did he tell her about his sexuality? Or should he just lie and tell her that he didn't think it was working any more? It was basically the truth.

The step after that was of course to see if Kurt would actually take him back. Kurt had obviously had enough with the messing around and Blaine couldn't blame him but Blaine getting rid of the obstacle might not mean that Kurt would even want to still be with him.

He needs to be with Kurt and that need seems more important than anything else. One might say he was stupid for potentially throwing away everything for love but nothing had ever felt so right to Blaine. He hated himself for the way that he had treated Kurt over the time that they had been together. Yes he'd loved him with all his heart but making Kurt be with him while he was still dating someone else, and making Kurt hide it from everyone, was a dick move.

He had sent a text to Amy letting her know that he wanted to see her later and she had told him that she would be free later and he could come over to her place. She hadn't asked him what was going on and he hadn't said anything. He didn't know how the conversation would go with her. He didn't really know her that well at all. He had no clue if she would be upset or angry or maybe just indifferent.

That was part of the reason that he was beating the crap out of a punching bag. He was sycing himself up for what he had to do later. Hitting the bag made him relax and it gave him to focus on, rather than all the crazy stuff that had been happening in his life ever since he first saw Kurt. He had no regrets about anything that he and Kurt had shared though, he just wished that it was under better circumstances.

XXXX

Despite showering to get rid of the sweat that he had accumulated while he was boxing, standing outside of Amy's door, Blaine was once again covered in sweat and the only exertion was that of the worry that was coursing through him. But he knew that this was what he had to do. He had to be with Kurt and this was the only way that that could happen now, he had to prove to Kurt that he was serious about the two of them and that he was ashamed or afraid to show everyone how much he loved that boy.

Knocking on her door, he knew that there was no going back now. He couldn't chicken out any more.

"Blaine, baby. Isn't this just a pleasant surprise." Amy said when she answered the door and she ushered him inside.

It was weird. She looked the same as usual, beautiful and sexy. This is the girl that Blaine had once felt sexual desire for, and yes he had felt something more for her. He hadn't loved her but he had felt something for her. But now, there didn't seem to be anything. Looking at her, he didn't feel any stirring in him like he had in the past. His feeling towards her had completely changed.

"I need to talk to you, Amy." Blaine said seriously, so that there could be no confusion as to why he was here.

Amy went and sat down on her bed and motioned for Blaine to sit on her desk chair. She didn't say anything, she just looked at him curiously.

Here goes nothing.

"We need to break up. Let's face it, you and I are very different people and it just hadn't been working for months now. I don't even know why you're still with me, I've been awful to you." Blaine said, trying not to rush it out.

"So what's been going on?" Amy asked, a hint of anger in her voice but her face remained neutral.

Blaine decided to tell her the truth. "I've been seeing someone else. Only for a little while now but I really, really like them and I've not been fair to wither of you, dragging you both along."

"Who is the bitch?" Amy asked, clenching her teeth.

"It's not a girl." Blaine said, softly.

A look of shock passed over Amy's face before a very angry look replaced it. "So you're a fucking homo now? Jesus Blaine, sure fuck men behind my back, when we're married I'll even let you have a pool boy but you are not breaking up with me to be a homo."

"I'm not marrying you, Amy. We're over, I don't want to be cheating on anyone. It fucking sucks and I've hated doing it. Besides the person that I like, I can't hurt them like that. I want them to be able to announce to the world that they're in love and I want to be able to do that myself. I don't wanna hide any more. Please can you just accept this." Blaine almost pleaded.

"Fine, but you're going to come crawling back to me when daddy dearest cuts off your money and your family start hating you. You're going to regret this decision, mark my words. Amy spat out.

She stood up and strode over to the door, opening it and indicating that Blaine should leave. Blaine quickly exited through the door, flinching when it was slammed behind him.

He had hated every minute of that but at least he had finally gotten the balls to do it. Now all he needed to do was to make things up with Kurt.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry about the delay guys and thank you to everyone that asked if I was okay. I've been struggling at the moment with life in general but I think I'm starting to get on the right track. Hopefully I never leave you hanging for this long again. Please forgive me!  
> Trigger warnings for violence...

"Can you sing? And are you able to carry stuff without dropping it and breaking it?" The older gentleman, named Gunther asked Kurt.

"Yes, sir." Kurt said, quickly.

"Then you're hired. You start right now. There should be a shirt out back that will fit you, Santana can show you were. This will be your trial, if it works out then you can start next week."

Kurt let out a breath that he didn't know that he had been holding. "There, see. What did I say? You, Kurt Hummel, now have a job."

Kurt grinned at Santana, feeling a little more human than he had done since he had ended things with Blaine.

He had told Santana that he needed a distraction and she had convinced him to try to get a job at the Starlight Diner where she was working. That way he would be distracted and he'd be earning some cash. He hadn't really expected the job to just be handed to him and he was being thrown in at the deep end, never having done any work like this before.

By the end of the shift Kurt was tired and his legs were aching. He couldn't, however, deny that he had enjoyed himself. Gunther had been impressed so he told Kurt to return after the weekend when he would have his name badge and work shirts ready. Walking home Kurt was in higher spirits than he had been for a while.

XXXX

Going into the halls it was always difficult because Kurt had to walk past Blaine's door, and his chest would fill with a familiar ache whenever he saw it. It always made him wonder if Blaine was inside, behind that door. He'd not heard any noise coming from his room, leaving Kurt to wonder even more.

He couldn't help but to glance at the door every single time he'd had to walk past it. Only this time, his one glance made him stop in his tracks. Blaine's door had been kicked in.

XXXX

_Blaine had been sat on his bed reading one of the old books that he'd had to read in high school for English when he had heard a commotion outside in the halls. He hadn't thought anything of it when suddenly his door flew open and came off of one of it's hinges, leaving it swinging awkwardly as a tall figure that Blaine had seen once before came into his room._

XXXX

"Oh my god." Kurt uttered, instantly knowing that something was wrong and praying that Blaine had been out when whoever ransacked his room was there.

Looking through the doorway, Kurt could see that there had been some kind of altercation inside because the place was a mess and furniture was turned over on the floor, Blaine's precious guitar was in pieces on the floor. Cautiously, Kurt stepped inside the room.

"Blaine?" He whispered, scared at what he might find.

He couldn't stop the tears when his fears were confirmed.

XXXX

" _Blaine Fucking Anderson. Always knew there was something off about you, ever since Amy brought you home to meet the parents. Should've know you'd turn out to be a dirty fag." Vince, Amy's brother sneered at Blaine._

_Blaine quickly scuttled off of the bed and held his hands up towards Vince. "I don't want any trouble. Why are you here?"_

" _Why do you think I'm here? You've been fucking some little twink while you've been with my sister. You disgust me."_

_He advanced on Blaine and that was when Blaine realised that Vince had come for blood and nothing was going to stop him from laying into him. All Blaine could do was try to put up a good fight. But with Vince being 6ft tall and being ridiculously built, Blaine didn't stand much of a chance._

XXXX

"Oh, Blaine." Kurt rushed over to Blaine who had obviously been knocked unconscious. He had a trail of blood from his mouth and some from his noise. His lip had been split open and a bruise was forming on his eye, which also had blood from a cut just above his eyebrow.

Kurt gently touched Blaine's check, trying to rouse him, but apart from a small whimper of pain, he didn't react at all.

Wiping his eyes of the tears that had collected there, Kurt pulled out his phone and called the emergency services who said that they would send round an ambulance and also the police. The operator that had answered the phone stayed on the line with him while he waited for them to arrive.

He was so scared for Blaine, it was obvious that someone had come here to specifically hurt Blaine because while the room was overturned, there didn't appear to be anything missing, so it couldn't have been a break in with Blaine just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But Kurt couldn't believe that anyone would want to hurt Blaine. He was one of the popular kids at NYU, he was friendly with everyone and got on with basically everyone.

It felt like a life time before the ambulance arrived. They took stock of Blaine's injuries and loaded him onto a stretcher, with his head in a brace. A crowd had been attracted around Blaine's dorm room and Kurt meekly followed behind the paramedics as they carried Blaine out. They allowed Kurt to ride with Blaine to the hospital and he held his hand gently the whole way there.

XXXX

_Blaine held up his arms in the defensive stance that he had learnt from all his lessons in boxing, trying to deflect the powerful blows that Vince was throwing at him. That was working, until Vince changed tactics and he threw a punch into Blaine's gut, completely winding him, before he kicked him, sending Blaine sprawling onto the floor where he was repeatedly kicked by Vince's heavy boots._

" _Fags need to be taught a lesson. You're fucking disgusting. You don't even deserve to live!" He spat at Blaine. "You're lucky I don't know the gay boy that you've been fooling around with or he'd be dead."_

_Blaine's mind flashed to Kurt and he was thankful that Vince didn't know about Kurt. Even being here, in the pain that he was in, Blaine didn't even want to think about Kurt getting hurt._

XXXX

Kurt sat in the hallway where he had been left when they wheeled Blaine into a room and a nurse had told him that he wasn't allowed inside. A part of him wanted to argue with her but another part of him was on the verge of collapse. He'd practically fallen into the chair that he was in now. With shaking hands he took out his cell phone and went through his contacts until he found Sam's number. He took what was meant to be a calming breath before he hit the button to dial the number. It didn't take long for Sam to answer the phone.

"What do you want, Kurt?" Sam asked. He had seen how wrecked Blaine had been after Kurt had called it quits and even though he hadn't agreed with their relationship in the beginning, he was a little mad at Kurt for leaving his friend like that. The whole situation completely boggled his mind.

"Um, I'm in the hospital. Something happened to Blaine. It looks like someone broke into his room and beat him up." Kurt said, his voice unsteady, as the tears started to flow and suddenly he was bawling. "Someone hurt him, he was unconscious. Who would want to hurt Blaine?"

"Shit! I'm on my way. Just stay where you are and call me if anything changes."

Sam hung up the phone leaving Kurt with his tears and the knowledge that soon he wouldn't be alone.

XXXX

_There was pain everywhere, completely surrounding Blaine, threatening to pull him under. Once he stopped fighting back, Vince seemed to lose steam. Blaine's vision blurred as he watched as Vince spat on him one last time before he walked out of the room. Blaine knew that he needed to stand up and go and get some help or something but his limbs felt so heavy. He did try to pick himself up but the pain that it caused was excruciating. The more he tried, the more his vision got darker until there was nothing but black._

XXXX

Sam called Blaine's brother to let him know what had happened. He didn't have Blaine's parent's number but he knew that Cooper would let them know. Cooper assured that he and his parents would be there as soon as they could get on a flight. Sam reassured them that he would let them know of any changes, just as he had asked Kurt to do for him.

Once he had finished the call to Cooper, Mercedes embraced him. He wasn't crying because he needed to be strong for Blaine but Blaine was like a brother to Sam and the thought of him being hurt made Sam stomach roll uncomfortably.

"C'mon. Let's head to the hospital. Kurt's there all alone and you know he and Blaine are close as friends can be. He's probably really upset." Mercedes said, shrugging on her jacket.

Sam laughed a little bitterly. If only she knew how close they actually were. As they neared the hospital Sam messaged Kurt to find out where to find him. His reply was immediate and Sam and Mercedes walked, holding hands but with heavy hearts.

When they see Kurt he is almost unrecognisable. He looked scruffy, something that Kurt never looked. He had blood in him and it made both of their stomachs churn to know that it was Blaine's blood.

Sam calls to Kurt and he looked up towards them. His face blotchy from the tears that were still coming from his eyes.

"Oh, Kurt, honey." Mercedes said walking over to him and hugging him. At the first bit of contact it was like a dam inside him broke and he started sobbing his heart out. Hot messy tears dripping from his eyes.

"Please, let him be okay. Please, please, please." Kurt sobbed, repeating it over and over.

Mercedes looked over to Sam, a look of realisation in her eyes.

"They're not just friends, are they?" Mercedes said quietly.

Sam shot her a look, which was clarification enough. Mercedes refocused on Kurt and her heart broke a little bit for him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update a bit sooner this time. Thank you for all of your support and understanding. There isn't many chapters left now, the end is in sight!

Mercedes had wrapped an arm around Kurt and was holding him close to her, like if she let go then he would fall apart. Personally he felt he was past falling apart. His tears had mostly dried up in the hours that they had been sat there waiting, only to be told that no one could tell them anything because they weren't family. Every so often, tears would leak out of his eyes, though his desperate sobbing had ceased.

He just needed Blaine to be okay. He needed to know that he was going to be alright. Seeing Blaine as he has found him was horrific. Blaine was such a well-loved person by pretty much everyone that met him. Kurt just couldn't think about someone hurting Blaine or even wanting to hurt him. He knew it must have been his fault in some way. He was the only thing that had changed with Blaine. Their relationship, even though it was over now.

Of course Kurt still desperately loved Blaine. He didn't think anything was going to change that. Blaine had managed to work his way into his heart and he wasn't getting out of it anytime soon. So far Kurt's decision to end things with Blaine hasn't seemed like a good one. Kurt hurt all the time. It wasn't just his heart that seemed to ache. His whole body felt like it was missing something. It was crazy. Kurt had never wanted to be one of those people that relied on love to make them whole. He had always been a fan of a person seeing their own self-worth. Yet, here he was needing Blaine and feeling incomplete without him.

He didn't know if this would change anything. He wanted to say that Blaine being beaten up would mean that he would go back to him but he knew that he couldn't do that. What would that even say about him if he did? There was still Blaine's girlfriend to consider and the fact that Blaine couldn't tell his family about their relationship. Kurt couldn't do that to himself. He had tried hiding who he was when he was in high school and it just wasn't for him. He couldn't live like that anymore. He had to be true to himself.

If only things could be different.

XXXX

Sam glanced at Kurt and Mercedes before dialling Blaine's brother's number on his phone. He'd been trying Cooper for around an hour now but he had yet to pick up. Cooper's was the only number that he had for anyone in Blaine's family so there wasn't much that he could do until Cooper picked up the phone. He crossed his fingers that Cooper would answer it this time.

The phone rang once, then twice, and then again, before finally Cooper answered.

"Hello, Cooper Anderson speaking."

"Hey, Cooper. It's Sam Evans. Blaine's friend."

"What's wrong?" Cooper said, instantly knowing that something was wrong because there would be no other reason for Sam to get into contact with him.

"Blaine has been rushed into hospital, it looks like he was attacked. I can't give you any information because they will only give out information to family. Someone better get here right away, I've been trying you for the last couple of hours and he still hasn't woken up." Sam tried to inform Cooper as calmly as possible.

"Shit! I'm gonna get our dad and we will be there was soon as possible. Thank you for contacting me Sam."

Cooper hung up without saying goodbye and Sam let out a sigh of relief having finally gotten hold of one of the Andersons.

He walked over to Kurt and Mercedes. "I managed to get a hold of Blaine's brother. They're on their way."

Both Mercedes and Kurt gave him a teary smile as he collapsed into a chair opposite them, putting his head into his hands. He was exhausted. They had been there for hours and still no one would tell them anything or if Blaine was even okay.

XXXX

It was the early hours of the morning when Devon, Cooper and Skye rushed into the waiting room, all of them looking completely crumpled and sleep deprived. Sam immediately lifted himself heavily out of the chair that he had spent hours getting in and out of, and he approached Blaine's family, having been the only one that had met them before.

"Blaine's this way. The nurse will want to know who you are but she'll let you in." Sam said.

Cooper glanced back at Mercedes and Kurt, who were sat down still but looking in their direction.

Part of Cooper wondered whether the boy that was sat with the black girl was Blaine's Kurt. He couldn't really worry about that right now, he needed to know how his brother was but once he knew that Blaine was okay he was definitely going to stick his nose in there.

Devon quickly strode over to the nurses station demanding to see his son. Instantly the three of them were granted access to the room where Blaine had been rushed off to, leaving Sam to collapse back into a chair with Kurt and Mercedes.

XXXX

"He's okay, Mr Anderson. There was little trauma to his head, the main extent of damage to him was to his torso. He's got a couple of broken ribs and a lot of bruising. We've given him a scan which concluded that there had been internal bleeding. We're just waiting for him to wake up now. The police have also been called, as is usual when a case comes in like this. They'll be around to take statements from both Blaine and the young man that came in the ambulance with him." A nurse rattled off the information.

"Thank you nurse. I'd appreciate if we could have some time alone." Devon said, dismissing the woman.

"Who would do this to Blaine? I thought he was so well liked at college." Skye questioned, tears in her eyes at seeing Blaine so battered and bruised.

"Whoever thought that they could mess with an Anderson has got another thing coming to them." Devon's expression was stony.

Blaine let a groan of pain, obviously still out of it. Cooper who was stood by Blaine's head caught a whisper of a name that the others obviously missed. He knew that when Blaine woke up there would be only one person that he would want to see and that person was the one that was sat out in the waiting room.

"Are you alright to sit with him, dad? I want to go and see if his friends are okay." Cooper said.

"We'll be fine." Devon barely acknowledged Cooper, pulling up a chair next to Blaine's bedside.

Cooper and Skye slipped out of the room. "What are you doing?" Skye pressed Cooper on his actions.

"I want to have a little talk with this Kurt."

They stopped in the waiting room and saw that all three of Blaine's friends were still there. The pale boy that Cooper had identified as Kurt was leaning on the girl, looking like a complete wreck.

"Kurt, is it?" Cooper said approaching the group.

The boy raised his head and nodded it slowly.

"You look like you could use a bite to eat. Let's go and talk in the cafeteria, it's my treat."

Kurt looked like he might refuse, he looked scared. Cooper tried to give him a reassuring smile and slowly Kurt nodded before standing and leading the way to the cafeteria.

Cooper bought all three of them a sandwich and a latte. He watched as Kurt picked about at the sandwich. He couldn't help but stare at the patch of blood that Kurt had on his clothes, which he knew was his brother's. It was clear that Kurt had been the one to find Blaine.

"So you and my baby brother?" Cooper said, a smile on his face.

Kurt looked warily at Cooper and didn't say anything. Cooper was starting to think that maybe this boy was a mute.

"You can talk to me. Blaine told me. How's about we make a deal? You talk to me and answer some of my questions and I'll allow you to go in and see Blaine."

The look of joy on Kurt's face about being able to go in and see Blaine let Cooper know that this boy really did care for his little brother and that was all he really wanted for Blaine.

"You love my brother?" Cooper tried again.

"With all my heart." Kurt replied, his voice still shaky from all the crying that he had been doing. He had been at the hospital all night and hadn't slept at all. He couldn't sleep, not until he knew that Blaine was going to be okay.

"I know this is pretty hard for you. I can't even imagine finding him like that." Cooper said, unable to suppress the shudder that ran through him.

"We're not together anymore." Kurt murmured, wanting to be honest with Blaine's brother.

"I know all about the situation with you, Blaine and Amy so I can imagine why. I know this has all been really hard on you. I'm sure you never imagined that the person that you loved was already attached. I mean entering into this relationship in the first place is a little bit stupid but I suppose sometimes these things can't be helped. That's more Blaine's fault than it is yours. But I know that Blaine loves you, more than anything. He's just afraid of our family's views on everything. I'm sure you know by now that Blaine tends to try to be a people pleaser, sometimes above his own happiness. But he loves you and I know that he isn't going to let you go that easily."

Kurt listened to Cooper's words, his heart aching. It was like it was opening up the still fresh wound. Of course Kurt wanted to be with Blaine but they couldn't go anywhere when he was still with someone else. He didn't mind the secrecy so much, he knew that everyone had to come out at their own pace and he would never force someone into that decision. It was simply that fact that Blaine was with another person, someone that might love Blaine just as much as Kurt did. He didn't personally like Amy, from what he had seen of her, but he didn't know her true feelings about Blaine and so he couldn't say that he loved Blaine more than she did.

"What I want to know, Kurt, is the story from your point of view." Cooper stated and Kurt decided that he would trust him, obviously Blaine was very close to him and what would it matter if he did tell someone their story. He was so desperate to see if Blaine was okay.

So Kurt poured out the entire story from his point of view. The whole time he desperately wanted to cry, remembering the sweet moments with Blaine and also the moments where they broke each other's hearts. It all just made him want to go and see Blaine more than ever.

XXXX

"Hey dad. I have a friend of Blaine's here. He was the one that found him and rang for the ambulance. Do you think that he could come and sit with Blaine for a little while? You should probably come and eat something anyway. We'll all go down to the cafeteria, I know Blaine will be in good hands." Cooper said, opening the door of Blaine's room so that Devon could see him and Kurt.

Devon gave Kurt the once over, not having any idea who this boy was. But he was hungry and he could do with a little break. He acquiesced and left with Skye and Cooper for the cafeteria.

Kurt walked in and sat down next to Blaine. Fresh tears coming to his eyes and falling when he saw Blaine's injuries again. He quickly pecked Blaine on the lips before he took Blaine's still hand in his own.

"Oh god, Blaine. I don't even know what to say. I know I have no right to be here but I had to see you, to make sure you were okay. I love you. I love you so much. I always will. Please don't hate me." Kurt cried, unable to stop the tears.


End file.
